Funny & Cute Things Our Demented Patients Say - page 6

Anyone who works around the demented elderly population can attest to the fact that they sometimes say the darndest things. Mr. Rider is a pseudonym for the slightly plump octogenarian nursing... Read More

  1. Visit  SnowboardRN profile page
    1
    One of my delightfully confused residents asked me one day "Can you give me any pointers, you know, in the bedroom? My husband is taking me home tonight, and it's been so long I'm not going to remember what to do!"
    teeniebert likes this.
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  3. Visit  GrnTea profile page
    6
    I had 1st year nursing students in a huge SNF for several years, and a number of the residents were happy to be guinea pigs for them. Two of my favorite stories:

    One elderly lady had to have her Foley catheter changed monthly, and I had a male student who needed the experience. I asked her if she minded having a male student do the procedure, assuring her that he had done this properly in lab. She laughingly consented, saying, "Honey, he sure won't be the first man who's seen it!"

    The students were practicing taking a nursing history. We went over the list of things to cover, and one student said, "I don't have to ask her about sexual activity, do I?" And I said, "Yes, you do. Sexual health is part of everyone's lifetime." So she gathered herself together and went in to interview this delightful 84-year-old woman. I lurked outside the door to see how she did. She went through a good review of systems, asked about medications, and everything else, and there was the pause. "Um, how old do you have to be before you stop thinking about sex?" (Interesting approach, I thought to myself.) And bless this old bird, she said, "You'll have to ask somebody a lot older 'n me!"
  4. Visit  SoldierNurse22 profile page
    1
    Quote from BrandonLPN
    Teeniebert, you must be from West Michigan, too. I've had a few little old ladies that lapse into Dutch as well.
    No WAY! I was thinking the exact same thing! I'm from West MI and worked as a tech in a hospital there. I had this happen to me a few times, too.
    teeniebert likes this.
  5. Visit  ctate profile page
    1
    I worked in a long-term facility over 10 yrs ago that all the residents had some sort of alz, dementia or paranoid schizophrenia and some times a combination. Here is only one of my story's.

    Ms. "E" argued with her "sister", which was her reflection in any reflective serfice. One cold winter night she kept opening the front glass door and causing the alarm to go off. When I went to see what she was doing I noticed she was very aggitated. Getting closer I realized she was once again arguing with "Pam." When she noticed me she said "I keep trying to tell Pam to get in here because it's cold outside, but everytime I open the door she runs away." I redirected her back to the nurse's area and told her that "Pam" would come in when she got too cold. About 30 min later I had to remove a picture from the wall becuase she and "Pam" were having an arguement.
    NurseMandaRN likes this.
  6. Visit  CloudySue profile page
    3
    Quote from ctate
    I worked in a long-term facility over 10 yrs ago that all the residents had some sort of alz, dementia or paranoid schizophrenia and some times a combination. Here is only one of my story's.

    Ms. "E" argued with her "sister", which was her reflection in any reflective serfice. One cold winter night she kept opening the front glass door and causing the alarm to go off. When I went to see what she was doing I noticed she was very aggitated. Getting closer I realized she was once again arguing with "Pam." When she noticed me she said "I keep trying to tell Pam to get in here because it's cold outside, but everytime I open the door she runs away." I redirected her back to the nurse's area and told her that "Pam" would come in when she got too cold. About 30 min later I had to remove a picture from the wall becuase she and "Pam" were having an arguement.
    Reminds me of Deb (and her sister Flo) from Finding Nemo!
  7. Visit  tayloramaRN2be profile page
    0
    Quote from CloudySue
    Reminds me of Deb (and her sister Flo) from Finding Nemo!
    I was thinking that same thing while I was reading that!
  8. Visit  alex-333 profile page
    2
    As a student on a med/surg floor, I had probably the sweetest little old lady with dementia. She would go in and out of confusion. Sometimes she knew she was at the hospital and that she was in her 80s. Other times she thought she was a lot younger. I went to wake her up one morning and I asked her if she knew where she was. She replied "oohhh, I'm in Las Vegas" (We were in the Niagara region of Canada). And all I could say was "I wish!"

    The same lady a few hours later had to have her catheter removed and inserted again. She probably had no idea she even had a catheter in to begin with. But as I'm explaining the procedure to her (this was my first time inserting a female catheter) she asked me if the catheter would impede her from having sexual intercourse with her husband. I softly said that it wouldn't but that she was in the hospital so she probably won't be doing any of that for a while. This woman's husband came to visit her every day, it was the sweetest love story I ever witnessed. She was incredibly protective of him as well, she told all the female nurses to stay away from her husband because he was hers!

    She also proceeded to tell us that she was recently in this hospital. I asked her what she was here for, and she replied "oh a caesarean section, that was about 7 years ago." It was probably about 50 years prior!

    Med/surg is definitely not my choice but meeting special people like this lady is what makes it worthwhile!
    Donna2011 and LTCNS like this.
  9. Visit  LTCNS profile page
    4
    I was sitting on the bed with a tiny, frail little lady who was one of my favorite residents in a nursing home I used to work in. She would cooperate with me when nobody else could get her to eat or let them do ADL care. Anyway, I leaned in towards her to talk to her and she said "If you're going to kiss me just go ahead and do it." I assured her I was there for a visit and not for a kiss lol!
    NurseMandaRN, silverbat, BrandonLPN, and 1 other like this.
  10. Visit  Bea40448 profile page
    0
    Quote from lub dub
    A member of my family suffers from dementia, & I find nothing funny or cute about it. There is a thread elsewhere on this site that talks about the elderly being devalued, & I thought of this thread.

    Go ahead, let the flaming begin...
    Sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from crying.
  11. Visit  No Stars In My Eyes profile page
    2
    I have a 95 y.o. patient who often thinks I am her mother or aunt. Once she thought I was her husband!
    The other day, another patient stopped in her doorway. Knowing he frequently cruised around searching for his room, I sent him off in the correct direction. My PD patient wanted me to tell him to come in because she had to talk to him. She didn't know him, and when I told her that, she said she knew that, but she had to tell him that he was her son! I told her she would've had to give birth to him when she was five years old. She said "SO?" I said that 5 y.o.'s weren't physically capable of giving birth. Her response was "You are so ridiculous!"
    I had to agree.
    LTCNS and silverbat like this.
  12. Visit  NurseQT profile page
    2
    One time I was administering a resident's meds through her g-tube and out of the blue she says to me "there are a lot of really good looking people that work here and you just aren't one of them." Talk about a self esteem booster!
    I took care of another lady who frequently hallucinated and thought she had cats in her room,we had to be careful not to "step" on one of them and had to sometimes "move" them off her bed! One night I went in to give her her meds and she insisted that there was a pony in her room! She wouldn't take her meds until I had led that pony out of her room!
    I took care of another lady that had a baby that she carried around with her everywhere. His name was Jameson Quite often she would have staff members baby sit Jameson for her! What I found ironic was that she had never had children of her own, her maternal instinct finally kicked in at the age of 80!
  13. Visit  l8308 profile page
    2
    My dad has dementia. He resides in a LTC facility. I asked him why he was tired and he said he worked last night 16 hours welding. When I took him back to the LTC facility after a doctor visit, he thanked me for all I do for him. That moment was bittersweet.

    I worked a long time ago at a LTC facility on the dementia floor. There was a resident who was very concerned about picking up his daughter from school. It was raining and he was very adamant to go pick her up at 4 AM. It went on for quite a while and when the day shift came on they called his daughter for him to speak to her. I wish I had thought to do that.
  14. Visit  cocoa_puff profile page
    3
    Bumping up this thread because I enjoyed reading it so much! I used to work in AL facility in the Alzheimer's unit, and this thread brought back a lot of funny memories!

    I took care of a tiny, sweet, 97 yr. old resident with an above-the-knee amputation. She would refer to her stump as the "child's head" and told me that once it grew out it would be a strange looking child.

    Another resident I was taking care of was so restless one night and just kept wandering. I asked her what was wrong and she said to me, "I left the boat untied at the dock, someone's going to take it away!" I told her I would take care of her boat for her as I walked her back to her room. "But I have to get home." I told her that she could stay here for the night and go back home tomorrow. She said, "Oh, thank you, but what about the dogs, they won't bother you will they?" I told her the dogs are welcome to stay too. She seemed relieved and let me help her to bed.


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