funeral of LTC res.. - page 2

What do people think of other nurses/aides going to the funeral of a res. at the LTC facility? I have not been in this situation yet but know I will and I am almost positive that I would go (at... Read More

  1. by   Disablednurse
    During my years of working at a nursing home, the things that are most touching are when a former resident's family will still come up and talk to you and are concerned about you.
  2. by   CapeCodMermaid
    We had a couple living at my nursing home. She died first. He was too heartbroken to go out, so the family asked if they could have a memorial service in our chapel. A few of us went. It was a lovely service. He really appreciated our being there. Several months later, he died. His family approached me and asked if it would be ok if they had his service in our chapel. It was very moving. He was one of the most special patients I've ever had.
  3. by   wif411
    We, as nurses, are humans also. I was reminded of this when a Patient of mine passed away. He was a dialysis pt and a praticing dentist--my dentist and my husbands-- I literally cried on and off for a day becuase he was so sweet and had fought a long hard fight. I told my husband that I wasn't sure if I was going to the wake. He wanted to know why not? I told him through tears...because I won't be any good to the family all I can do is cry---He said when you quit "feeling" when your close pts die--that is when you quit being the Nurse that I married. He said that I needed to go. I did and I am glad I did. I cried with his fellow dialysis pts and his family. That was probably the closest I was to a family and pt. He hadbecome a friend in a way, too. (This was not a nursing home pt)
    Normally I go to the wake if I feel that connection. The family seems to be glad that someone from the nursing home cared that much.
    We are all human with a heart. I think I would want to know if someone felt that strongly about one of my family. It would be a tribute to the type of person they were.
  4. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    As a housekeeper i went to viewings, typically i tend to think that funerals are for the close people, friends, and family.
  5. by   Retired Nurse
    Our facility is in a small town. In fact, the Hospital motto is "Friends and Neighbors Caring for You" I always tried to stop at the funeral home to view and sign the book. And would go to the funerals or visitation of those closest, when able. It's just the last thing you can do for the resident and their family.
  6. by   jude11142
    just this morning, one of the residents at the ltcf where i work passed away. she was very special to me and i will miss her deeply. i will attend her wake, though i won't attend the burial. it will give me a chance to say "goodbye" to my friend as well as my patient. i also, got to know the family well esp in the last year and i feel that they would not object to my appearance.

    a few yrs ago when i was doing homecare, one of my patients of over 2 yrs died. the last 2 wks of her life, the family asked me to stay with her at night as well as my daytime hrs(i was in nsg school at the time and a cna). when she died, her daughter told me,lol(not asked)that i was going to the wake and the funeral and i would be driving in the limo with the rest of the family. i told her that wasn't neccesary, that i would drive myself etc..........she told me, "no way, you were like another daughter to her and like a sister to me, so you are driving with us"............ummmmmmmmm, ok. lol. it touched me knowing that her daughter knew how much i loved and cared for her mom and that she actually thought of me during a time that was difficult for her.

    so, i guess what i'm saying is that there is no right answer here. if you feel that you want to go, then you should. however, if that's not your thing, that's ok too. we all deal with the death of our patients differently, what matters here is knowing that you provided the best care possible for your patient.

    jmho,

    jude
  7. by   IowaCindy
    or stop in at a quiet time and pay my respects. I often feel that it is very last thing I can do for the resident. I like to sign the book so the family can see my name and know I was there.

    Also, from a PR point-of-view, and yes - it is a concern to administration...having staff acknowledge the resident in such a personal way only reinforces the facility's image in the community. You can't pay for that kind of good-will, that kind of advertising.

    I've heard people make negative comments about never having the nursing home staff attend a service. They interpret that as a lack of caring or "they've got our money now, they can't be bothered" attitude. Outsiders don't often think about the emotional toil of presenting a face at so many services - or the fact that so many staff members have to remain on the job.

    It's a personal decision. Everyone has their own reasons for what they chose to do.

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