Yeah, I am a student nurse, I sit on my lazy but eatting bon bons alllll day long!!! - page 4

If I hear my husband use the phrase, "Well when you work 40 hours a week!...." I just stopped asking my husband for any help. I tried to get him to help out around the house since I have started... Read More

  1. by   HikingNinja
    Quote from ZooKeeper247
    To all you with the unsupportive other 1/2 ( or maybe they don't count as a full 1/2 maybe 1/6? lol) I just shake my head and admire your strength, I'm lucky and I know it, even my director knows how supportive my hubby is (he accidentally met her in the begining when he went to pay for my polo shirts to surprise me and she joked about him being able to handle being ignored for the next 2 years, he joked right back that it was fine by him so long as he got to retire early since I'll have a career that's going somewhere faster than his ever could lol) I have friends whose dh's act like they are owed something for "allowing" their wife to go back to school and even mine asks what is wrong with those morons
    I have to say that I am extremely lucky too to have the dh I do. Mine is much like yours. We take on every decision as a team. We both hate to clean and have no time for it so we hired a cleaner to come in once a month. He does his own laundry and thanks me when I occassionally do it for him. He even does my laundry sometimes and doesn't turn everything pink. My hubby views my nursing school as an investment in "our" future. He really wants to retire early and I love to work so we're a match made in heaven. He's very supportive and encouraging. And above all else he is proud of me and tells everyone so. He calls me smart and says he's so proud to have an intelligent woman like me. He expresses that he feels honored I picked him. He rocks. We've been married now for 8 years this September. I really don't think the issue is if they are a slob or not, its how they view you, how they treat you. My husband does alot of annoying things (like leaving his dirty socks lying on my couch...ick!). But he has always been great at expressing how he feels about me, his respect for me, and insisting that no matter what we are in this together. I really think that's what a partnership is all about; mutual respect, admiration, and love. If that's there, then it really doesn't matter how long the dishes are sitting in the sink.

    Dee
  2. by   momathoner09
    I completely understand what you are saying! We just finished clinicals last week (only 2 more weeks of class left) and when i told my fiance, he replied with "so now you have even more days off?!" Yeah one more day to study all day for the last test and the final which is all within 2 weeks. WHATEVER!
  3. by   txspadequeenRN
    well when my ex-husband decided that he was not going to help me with the dishes i said "ummm okie dokie, but im not doing them either". so i let them pile up and everyday i took myself along with his checkbook to the store and bought brand new dishes daily to eat on for dinner....it was not very long until he say the light and my way of thinking....
  4. by   RN BSN 2009
    leave everything how it is, see how long it lasts
  5. by   Linz8
    My evening:
    I came home from school and found all of our laundry folded and put away. The dishwasher was running and the floor had been vacuumed. Three freshly bathed kids on the couch watching Happy Feet and munching on popcorn. My husband meets me at the door to grab my backpack and purse and I hug him.

    I can feel that he is burning up with fever, but he said he wanted to get all this done before I got home so I could relax. This after he just watched three kids under the age of 11 plus he had already put in a full day as Postmaster.

    I made him get into bed, gave him some medicine, rubbed his back and chest with Vicks and gave him a smooch on the cheek and thanked the Lord for the man I married and the children I have. Not because of a clean house or chores done; but because they all cared enough about me to put their hurt or pain to the side. I am very lucky.

    When I made the decision to go to nursing school, my husband said to jump and reach for the stars - because no one is going to hold your ladder. He already has a Masters degree so it was kind of like 'my turn'. He has supported me (yes, emotionally and financially - it's not cheap putting gas in a Yukon every three days, lol) completely and wholeheartedly. I could do it without him, but I'm thankful I don't have to.

  6. by   lisabeth
    I am thankful I am not in a position to have to put up with that kind of treatment. I know that you cant change a man, but I dont understand living with someone who is that totally selfish (especially if you arent married to the jerk).

    A few posters are beyond blessed to have the support they need. There are some good ones still out there.
  7. by   MB37
    Yeah, there are a few of us with good ones. Mine has some annoying habits as well - leaves his dirty socks and his pants on the sofa every night, for example - but he has more than supported me going to school. He tells everyone about his wife the Nursing Student excitedly, and actually cares about my day. When I started talking about going back to school, he tried to talk me into it! Also, the maid service we recently hired - we had casually discussed maybe getting one, but he actually researched a bunch at work one day, e-mailed a few, and came home with prices and everything. I just had to OK it and call to make the appt. I feel for you girls with unsupportive men, and I've definitely dated some selfish jerks, but I just can't imagine getting as far as marriage and kids with one.
  8. by   shleynic
    My husband doesn't have a problem with me being in school, but I understand exactly where you are coming from. We just had a big fight this week because he refuses to pick up after himself. It drives me nuts. They just don't get how hard nursing school can be...and if your husband is anything like mine he is always certain he has done certain things in his life (such as basic training) that are harder than nursing school. I don't doubt that basic training is difficult, but it only lasts 6 weeks. Nursing school is a 2 year marathon. He thinks because of the fact that I cut back to only 2 12 hr shifts/week I have it easy and I should't complain. I just think there is no other experience that could possibly be compared to nursing school.
  9. by   lisabeth
    Quote from shleynic
    My husband doesn't have a problem with me being in school, but I understand exactly where you are coming from. We just had a big fight this week because he refuses to pick up after himself. It drives me nuts. They just don't get how hard nursing school can be...and if your husband is anything like mine he is always certain he has done certain things in his life (such as basic training) that are harder than nursing school. I don't doubt that basic training is difficult, but it only lasts 6 weeks. Nursing school is a 2 year marathon. He thinks because of the fact that I cut back to only 2 12 hr shifts/week I have it easy and I should't complain. I just think there is no other experience that could possibly be compared to nursing school.
    I think they are both hard in different areas. I think where he was exhausted physically, you are exhausted mentally. The difference is, what you are doing will be a continual benefit to your whole family. Maybe try to put it to him like that. Maybe he will support you a little better then. Good luck.
  10. by   DanEMT
    Waa waa waa cluck cluck cluck. My wife is putting me through school, she is a Veterinarian and works very hard. What do we do? pick up each others slack and look out for one another. I hate male bashing, some women said nice things but for the rest of you, try living with a woman for a while. You may see it's not all flowers and puppy dogs.
  11. by   lisabeth
    Quote from DanEMT
    Waa waa waa cluck cluck cluck. My wife is putting me through school, she is a Veterinarian and works very hard. What do we do? pick up each others slack and look out for one another. I hate male bashing, some women said nice things but for the rest of you, try living with a woman for a while. You may see it's not all flowers and puppy dogs.
    I promise, I am not bashing all men. I know there are many good men out there.
    As far as living with a woman, lol. There isnt a mansion big enough for two women. That is not in the least bit appealing to me.
    Marriage does take two people, and it sounds like you both do your parts. Good for you.
  12. by   shleynic
    wah...like men don't bash women
  13. by   Halinja
    Quote from DanEMT
    Waa waa waa cluck cluck cluck. My wife is putting me through school, she is a Veterinarian and works very hard. What do we do? pick up each others slack and look out for one another. I hate male bashing, some women said nice things but for the rest of you, try living with a woman for a while. You may see it's not all flowers and puppy dogs.
    Grin. I'm not male bashing. Men are fine. Jerks are not, and they come in either sex. Its just many men have been socialized by society to "expect" certain treatment. Many are responsible, loving, supportive individuals. AND SOME ARE NOT!!! (sorry for yelling)

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