Why the heck do I have to be assertive???

ArrowRN, BSN, RN · Jul 18, 2013

You need to be assertive to be a nurse, that is absolutely true. Especially if you're working in a teaching hospital. You need to be assertive in advocating for your patients and, when it inevitably happens that a Resident refuses to listen and won't take your concerns seriously, you need to be assertive in escalating the chain of command.

I agree there is a time and place to be assertive, but I think most introverts or shy people (yeah I know its different) can take that stand when the time comes to advocate for the REAL patient. But in school we just don't see the need to walk around like that all the time. Even in lab I don't see the need. In the heat of the situation we can be just as assertive as anyone else. There's no need for instructors to push that agenda early in a school setting, especially when we still focused on accumulating knowledge.

bagface · Jul 18, 2013

I agree with a lot of the PP.. eventually you will come out of your shell. I used to be shy, always listening rarely talking, etc. Then I started to work at 911 and the real world hit me like a ton of bricks. I learned that if people sense you are shy they CAN and WILL walk over you. When urgency is important, you have to be in control. For instance when I had a caller screaming because she saw a boy get hit with a vehicle, I had to calm her verbally to start CPR.

I think this is a skill you too will learn. I wouldn't exactly call myself "chatty", but I make it known that I am not someone to walk over should the opportunity to arise. I am still on the "quiet side" compared to the majority of my classmates, but when I have something to say I say it in a confident and clear voice. A lot of the chatter from my class is from the younger clique, and that's fine, but I'm paying a lot of money for my education and I'm there to learn. If I wanted a social hour I'd go home to my husband and son. My professors almost always doubt me at the beginning of each semester. They follow me around, thinking I don't know what I'm doing, this usually only lasts a week or two because then they see me work and KNOW I am competent in my skills/knowledge.

I think you will continue to open up as you go through this process. You may form "two" different personalities like most do, a "working nurse" one and an "at home one". Whatever it takes to get through, you can do it

chrisrn24 · Jul 18, 2013

Totally agree with initial post...but to pookyp I ask...why do we even have to "come out of our shell"? I facing the same problem in nursing school and its really quite bizarre that one has to be loud , chatty and can't be shy to be a good nurse. I just can't think straight with if many extroverts are around. I'm totally fine one on one and most patient care is just that. Anyways for whatever reason clinical instructors hate shy and introvert students so be warned...almost got me kicked out 1st semester but I made it. Quickly changed her mind when she saw I was able to plan and executed an entire educational presentation for a bunch of school students taking health ed.
Thing is they don't even know the whole other side of me. I choose to let people see what side I want them to see.

You don't have to be loud, or what not. You have to be assertive, and lay down the law.

JaRoJoCT · Jul 18, 2013

You don't have to be loud, or what not. You have to be assertive, and lay down the law.

chrisrn24: I like your comment! I like the idea of not having to be loud, but still heard. I'm happy to see that 'shy' nurses are out there, and they are fierce! Thanks guys!

JaRoJoCT · Jul 18, 2013

man-nurse2b: I've read your other postings, especially the one about how to survive the 1st semester of nursing school! You inspire me, because you hung in there, and didn't give up. You went through what I went through my 1st semester, and toughed it out! You didn't give up, and that inspires me! Keep it up!

Mewsin · Jul 18, 2013

I'm an introvert but I'm not shy. I also know that I want to get as much experience in school (and over summer break) as I possibly can so I speak up a lot, ask a lot, run ideas by people a lot, ask to do or observe procedures as much as I possibly can. It just exhausts me by the end of the day (well beginning I work nights) being around people so much I can't wait to get home to recharge.

So being an introvert won't slow me down, but I know I also need to take care of myself in order to keep going.

allnurses Guide · Jul 18, 2013

Wow! Amazing responses....I knew I could count on you guys to tell me exactly what I needed to hear! It's not about me....a problem I had my first time around in the program....it's about my patients. I can definitely speak up and out for them! Love you guys!!

I kind of think us introverts (yeah me too) have a silver lining amidst our crippling social anxiety that we must overcome to advocate for our patients etc. We are usually very keen observers and listeners. The value of that in nursing is incalculable!

girlmeetsworld · Jul 18, 2013

I am definitely introverted/shy and worried about being able to be assertive when needed. I found then when I need to stand up for a pt, myself, or other nurse I have had no problem being assertive. The positive thing is that when I do speak up about something I don't agree with, people usually take me more seriously and listen.

DalekRN · Jul 18, 2013

I take students for their leadership rotation. The biggest step is getting them to initiate contact aka stepping out from behind the curtain and interacting with the patients, eventually taking the reigns and planning with the patients. Then I know they ate blossoming.

PMFB-RN, RN · Jul 18, 2013

At some point, however, you will be called upon to advocate for a patient who cannot advocate for himself. You'd better be prepared to stand up and do that, or you will be failing in one of nursing's most important duties, and your patient will suffer for your being too shy to do it more than you will by sucking up and doing it.

*** Never mind. I was going to reply to this discussion but the above is EXACTLY what I was going to say.

Well said.

Teresag_CNS · Jul 18, 2013

Assertiveness is a quality required of practicing nurses. We need to speak up about quality problems, workplace harrassment, patient safety problems, and other issues. I think the people telling you to be more assertive have your best interests in mind. The unfortunate truth is that those who do not advocate for themselves and their patients in health care are not heard, and that makes them less effective. You'll also find that being more assertive (which, by the way, means speaking your mind clearly and in such a way to not offend others) makes you more effective in the rest of your life. Even going to the grocery store can be easier if you speak up when something isn't right. Good luck!

bopeep82 · Jul 18, 2013

I too can be introverted at work and extroverted around a more comfortable situation. I believe that people often confuse shyness with weakness and mildness. That's not necessarily true. I was in the Marines for several years and I always get, "Oh, but you're so nice." Yeah, not all of us are loud mouth jerks. You can stand up for yourself and be professional with still being true to you. Tact is the best tool a person with any type of personality can have. I feel that sometimes the loud-mouths lack tact and also lack sympathy to see how they come off to others. To me, those are horrible traits. Stay true to yourself, because you never want to be something you are not. If you are great at your job and the meekness doesn't come off as snootiness then I believe you'll do fine.