why do you care if a student misses class?

  1. Just trying to understand why some of my classmates are so upset about a student who's been missing class. To me it just seems like it's none of their business and has no effect on them, but maybe I'm missing something.... This student has missed probably 7 class days in our almost year long program. She's on the high end of absences for the class, but not about to go over the allowed amount. She has three small kids under 5, her youngest was under 4mo when she started. She also had to have an emergency gall bladder removal a couple months ago and took a week long medical absence. She wanted to come back to class sooner than a week, but the nursing director told her she had to take the full week, or she would forefeit it (I don't know why). Anyway, she came in one morning and went to speak with one of our instructors and several students just went off about how she shouldnt' be in the program and she should have been kicked out, etc... I just was so shocked because I have a lot of respect for her because she had good grades and has a TON on her plate right now. Also, they were having financial trouble and had to move in with her sister during all this.
    She's a friend, so obviously I am on her side, but I just don't understand why other students are so hostile about it? Why do they care if she's not in class. They can skip if they wanted to (and I don't think she's just skipping anyway). She hasn't missed any group papers or projects, she's the only one sitting for her NCLEX, so I just don't get it. What am I missing?
  2. 40 Comments

  3. by   ~Mi Vida Loca~RN
    I don't care, the only reason I would care is if said student kept complaining about stuff that was learned in class or if they kept interrupting classes with numerous questions addressed in a previous class. But if it wasn't directly effecting me then it wouldn't bother me. It's their business.
  4. by   sullivan2
    Even if she didn't have a ton on her plate, and her missing class was the result of doing blow off of male strippers on a whim, I still wouldn't care.

    It's one thing to have a cool understanding/"relationship" with your classmates. But this stuff is too much. It's a just a collection of random people in career training together, not a BFF forever group party.

    Those peeps should mind their business.
  5. by   missjennmb
    Why do they care? Because a group full of women in a competitive environment leads to being in everyone's business but their own in order to build themselves up by tearing others down.

    Its catty. Its sad. But unfortunately, its going to happen pretty much anywhere.

    Personally, I could care less what anyone other than I do, beyond cheering on those that I like to make it past the next test/assignment/etc.
  6. by   milwerica
    I do not care at all if a student misses class as long as they are not interrupting when they are in class. My biggest pet peeve is when someone misses class and then asks the dumbest questions when they are back!!! Who cares who sits in class. I hate sitting in class and prefer to learn on my own. I have chosen online classes for the fact woman are catty and bother me with their snide comments about each other. To each their own, but I feel people should pay attention to themselves and not others in the class. I also see people that have lower self esteem tend to find the negative traits in others because they are insecure about themselves. I would be the bolder one and ask them if they are sitting for the boards!!!
  7. by   Nurse_Diane
    I only have issues with students who miss 4 clinicals b/c of "x, y, or z", in one semester, and then STILL pass...

    Not that I want anyone to fail, but what kind of message does this send?

    BTW, the absences were not due to illness... They were random things.

  8. by   Lovelymo79
    Stuff like this kills me because I see it on the board. People who get so upset at other students who fails a class..but somehow get through the cracks...or those who are absent alot..but are not kicked out of the program. Come on now!! Who cares?!?!

    People are always so concerned about other people and what they are doing..they need to be concerned about their own business and work.

    As the old folks used to say..if you mind your business..you'll always have business to mind!
  9. by   libnat
    People are always so concerned about other people and what they are doing..they need to be concerned about their own business and work.
    No one wants to see someone else getting a break if they feel they worked harder for the same thing. Smae with other students cheatining.

    I do not not care, it is there business.
  10. by   Lovelymo79
    Quote from libnat
    No one wants to see someone else getting a break if they feel they worked harder for the same thing. Smae with other students cheatining.
    How does them getting a break affect you?!? It's not like that's going to help you get a better grade..or make your work easier. I've been in classes where people were cheating..and I saw it..but did I open my mouth..no. Because regardless..even if they passed that test..they are going to be tested again..and will eventually get caught. Somehow karma is going to get people back. And the coin flips the other way too...you sticking your nose in someone's business..someone will stick their nose right back into yours...

    Again..I stress..people need to mind their own business...unless it's affecting you DIRECTLY..it's none of your business what anyone else does...
  11. by   flightnurse2b
    i have to admit that the people who were always MIA made me annoyed, because the school policy said that you can miss 1 lecture and 1 clinical a term, and there were students who would be out 5 or more times, no one cared... but when i was in the hospital and missed a clinical day, i had to come in on a sunday and workn 7am-7pm at the nursing home to make it up. when i worked full time, then went to class and busted my tail to get good grades, it made me upset to see people do whatever they wanted and then whine when they failed tests or were missing notes.

    i just think rules should be accross the board... if you enforce for one person, do it for everyone...
  12. by   libnat
    Quote from Lovelymo79

    Again..I stress..people need to mind their own business...unless it's affecting you DIRECTLY..it's none of your business what anyone else does...
    I agree, I was just giving a reason behind it. Get a group of people together and they also just like to gossip, put others down.
  13. by   Lovelymo79
    And what ends up happening...is the ones that ARE doing what they are suppose to be doing..working hard..coming to class..participating and not sitting there texting while the professor is up lecturing...they will band together..and the other slacker will be on the outside. And if they DO so happen to come into that inner circle..THEN as comrades..you can say..hey..why are you missing class..why are you slacking..etc. And that way..it won't seem like you're being nosy..but you're showing concern as a friend and ally. And then maybe they'll shape up.

    But going to the "powers that be" to correct their behavior may totally backfire..
  14. by   VM85
    In general, I dont think it should matter whats going on with your life out of school- Whether you have medical issues or just want to stay in bed. You use your absences how you want to(and if it comes back to bite you in the butt, then thats your problem)You have to dedicate yourself- in this situation, she has not broken any rules or missed any days over and above! I only take the persons outside lifes issues when I think to myself, oh that stinks she was so sick, i feel so bad for her... while i dont have an ounce of sympthay for a person who uses al of there absence time because they were tired or didnt want to take a test cuz they werent ready and they get kicked out(which happened to my best friend, and im sorry she wont be graduating but she had diff priorities so why should i feel bad?). And I bet this does come into the instructors mind, her surgery, since she wasnt out blowing bubbles, so yeah maybe they arent coming down on her harsh- working wiht her to catch her up on things, and guess what, she shouldnt be kicked out for it anyways, if anything a medical leave of absence, so why would peers want her out?
    It does stink to have peers that shouldnt be there still be there, but thats them- its not your decision and i feel you should worry about yourself. You are allowed to have an opinion but when your attention goes from your self and your school work to sitting around talkin about how its so unfair- your the one with the problem, and if you feel so strongly about it then go talk to your instructors as to why you feel its so unfair, and see what they tell you-> to Worry about yourself!!!!