Why do people belittle others to make themselves feel better?

Nursing Students General Students

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Just venting here...

I am in my 40's and just started my pre-nursing classes in January 2012. Took my HESI-A2 this summer and scored an average of 99 on it. I've been burning all my neurons studying like crazy and have been able to maintain a 4.0 GPA - I do this to try to increase the probability that I am accepted to my school's nursing program. I've made so many sacrifices... I've missed out on outings with my husband and children because I've had to stay at home and study for exams and lab practicals, etc. I work very hard to do my best. I'm sure you all know what it's like when you really want it.

Anyway... I was sooo mad yesterday. There is this girl in my A&P class, who also happens to be in my Intro to Nursing class. We were getting ready to receive the results for our last exam in A&P and I've been working so hard that I always get the top grade. So the professor announced that only one person got 100 on the test. One girl tells the other "it was probably her", and then this girl says "it's because she is older and has more time to study". I was soooo mad. I didn't hear her, someone else told me what she said after class, so unfortunately I didn't get a chance to respond. But I felt like my efforts were being undermined. I guess at a conscious level I don't care what she thinks - but it just makes me so mad. People will say anything to justify themselves I guess. I mean, I know it would be so much easier for me if I would have done this back when I was 20, living at home, no kids, no responsibilities other than making good grades. What right does she have to belittle my effort? Plus... there are other people there, my age, with no jobs, that don't make the same grades I do.

Just so mad. Ok, venting done. Now to study.

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Unfortunately, there are always those few that will belittle your efforts regardless what the situation is, or regardless of age. Trust me, it only gets worse once you're in the nursing program. I can't even begin to tell you just how annoyed I was in nursing school to walk out of a killer exam, and see all my classmates standing outside chomping at the bit just to see how you think you did. They did this not out of concern, but simply to rub your nose in how they think they did better than you.

Eventually, I just started telling every person that asked, that it was the such an easy exam regardless of how difficult it was. After all, my grade is none of their business. Those of us who often made top grades, or were recongized as top students in clinicals always kept our mouths shut. I would hear comments made about my friends such as suck up, brown noser, and she thinks her ***** doesn't stink. Seriously!! What mature behavior for Second Degree BSN's to have, especially since we were all a bit older than your average traditional nursing student (Our youngest student was 22).

Try to brush it off the best you can. Don't worry about them. Focus on yourself. You're going to need those awesome grades to get into the nursing program. Keep doing what you're doing girlie!

Best of luck to you!

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Ignore them. They are not worth your time. Keep up the great work!!

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Haters are going to hate!

I hear crap all the time, they are jealous.

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If you ask me, she's just being ignorant. I'm in a bsn program and a good majority of my classmates are older, and they have it HARDER. So much harder. Most older people are married with children! That is so hard to balance along with nursing school or prenursing. Don't listen to her, chances are she's jealous that you can keep everything together and make good grades at the same time! That is a serious accomplishment.

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She is not worth one lick of your time or energy. She is obviously ignorant. I am one of the younger ones in my classes & get the same sorts of responses but in a "she's 20 and therefore is not working and has no responsibilities" sort of way. So not true, considering I work, take care of my grandmother at home, & am taking a full course load. But wherever you go, you will find people who stereotype other age groups. Take pride in the fact that you ARE doing so well! Good luck & I hope you continue to do as well as you have so far :)

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Thanks everyone, I know I shouldn't pay attention to anyone and stay focused on my goal, but sometimes people just get to you. I do believe she is jealous. I don't understand why, if it bothers them, they keep asking what grades other people received. From now on I'm not going to tell anyone my grades, I'm not one to volunteer information, but I do tell them when they ask - lesson learned, will not do that anymore!!! And yes, she is being ignorant, I would like to see her try to study with a 5 yr old interrupting every 5 minutes to show you his latest crayola masterpiece... among other responsibilities.

I feel better now :-) THANKS!!!

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^Yup I try not to tell anyone my grades. The girl next to me in A & P has scored much lower than me on our first 3 tests. Because I let my grade slip the first time (thinking everyone got at least a C on it), she now bugs me after every exam to tell her what I got. If I am not as satisfied with my grade, she makes me feel bad about it. The best thing to do is just not tell anyone who will not be happy for you.

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zoe92 - You are so right, I guess we forget to consider that each person has their own load to bear regardless of age, marital, or job status. She was probably just trying to justify herself for not making a very good grade, I just hate that she had to belittle me in order to make herself feel better.

Thanks for bringing that up, I hadn't though of that.

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So very true. From now on I'll only share with my family. :-)

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No problem! I was in no way defending her behavior, because she was being very snarky. I have many "older" students I know and I know it is very hard to get back into school mode. I often tell them that I have no idea how they do it with children & I respect them for that.

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Specializes in ED.

I, too, was an older student with a family. She has no idea what you go through to get the grades you get and the scarifices you make with your family!!!! But remind yourself that you are the adult here. LOL

Congrats to you on your career path. It will be worth it!!!

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