What would you do... quit or not?

  1. So.... SO was supposed to be starting a new job this week, but it has fallen through. This is the 2nd job in 2 mos this has happened with. He has a fantastic job offer out of state that he was going to take when I graduate, but could take it now. I don't work, and can't because I have 3 kids and can't manage it. The question now is do we pack it up and me quit school and go in our new state or struggle here. I'm not even sure we will be able to make ends meet. I don't think I could transfer my credits, and I'm in the 3rd semester of 4. I may have to start over. With his new job, money will not be an issue and I won't have to work, so thats not a problem. What would you do in this situation, and if you have any advice about transfers please let me know!

    Thanks!
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  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   Jules A
    Warning this probably isn't what you want to hear so feel free to stop reading now.

    My two cents would be that no way in hell would I quit school and move at this point, especially for someone who doesn't even have a job and is turing down good offers. When did working in adulthood become optional? Let him go and with time prove to you that he will stick with the job, find a place for your family to live etc.

    Sorry but I have a very low threshold for people who don't contribute to their families and society. This probably isn't something that gets better with time and you have a wonderful opportunity to make sure that you can always provide for your family without counting on a man so again no way would I quit school.
  4. by   WDWpixieRN
    One thing I would suggest checking in to is exactly where would you stand in your schooling? I know that in most community colleges, you can join in at 3rd semester, which is similar to what they do with bridge programs....I am not, however, familiar with 4-year programs or how a transfer would work.

    I don't know that anyone can tell you definitively what you should do in your situation, but you should be armed with as much information as possible. Call the schools in the area you may be moving to. I don't think you can make a blanket statement that things won't be transferable unless you're currently attending some kind of vocational ed program. If your credits are all from an accredited college/university, the majority of the work you have done will be transferable. That's the beauty of all the hoops that these colleges have to go through to gain accreditation status.

    Knowledge is power; the more you know about what you will be heading in to, the better. Obviously, you have some very serious considerations to take in to account. It's important that someone be able to provide for your family while you complete your education. If this puts back a semester or so while this all takes place and to afford your SO the opportunity to take this position, then so be it. But make sure you do ALL your homework before you just throw in the towel on yourself.

    Best wishes!!
  5. by   beachbum3
    Quote from Jules A
    Warning this probably isn't what you want to hear so feel free to stop reading now.

    My two cents would be that no way in hell would I quit school and move at this point, especially for someone who doesn't even have a job and is turing down good offers. When did working in adulthood become optional? Let him go and with time prove to you that he will stick with the job, find a place for your family to live etc.

    Sorry but I have a very low threshold for people who don't contribute to their families and society. This probably isn't something that gets better with time and you have a wonderful opportunity to make sure that you can always provide for your family without counting on a man so again no way would I quit school.

    No, no... he has always worked his tail off... these jobs were not ones he turned down. Its a long story, but he is not turning jobs down, and has always worked and provided.
  6. by   deeDawntee
    That is a tough decision. Are there any other alternatives available? How strong is your commitment to being a nurse? Is it something you really want to do, or would you be just as happy being at home and raising your children? If you did move now and didn't finish your program, would you regret it later in life? Only you can really answer these questions. Will that job still be available when you finish your program? If so, can he get another job where you are now until you are done? That would be consistent with your original plan.

    I have a feeling that you are the type that will be able to make any decision you make work out. Since this is a nursing forum, personally I would hate to see you lose the opportunity to become a nurse, but that is only my opinion and I obviously don't know you and your circumstances.

    Good luck to you! I hope it all works out for the greatest good for everyone involved.
  7. by   Daye
    figure out someway to complete your education, whatever it takes and as hard as it is to ask for help from anyone who is willing to help.....ask/accept the help
  8. by   ♪♫ in my ♥
    [color=silver]you say that you don't know if you'll be able make ends meet if you stay but that he's got a great job offer in another locale.

    to me, it's a no-brainer: take the job and move. it doesn't do you any good to stay put if you can't afford to. yeah, you'll probably lose some time but it doesn't seem like you have much choice if you can't afford to stand pat.

    edited: i misread your post and didn't see the 3rd of 4 semesters. i'd agree that you should do anything you can to finish off your program. i think it can be difficult to transfer into another program mid-stream.

    that said, you should certainly contact some schools in the area where the job is and see if you could transfer.

    is there any way that he could take the job and move while you're finishing up? it's not fun to live apart but it can be tolerable.
    Last edit by ♪♫ in my ♥ on Sep 16, '07
  9. by   Jules A
    Quote from beachbum3
    No, no... he has always worked his tail off... these jobs were not ones he turned down. Its a long story, but he is not turning jobs down, and has always worked and provided.
    Oh thank goodness, I'm sorry I misunderstood. I still wouldn't quit school with so little time left and would encourage him to pursue the great offer. I'm not sure how it is where you are going but here getting into a program especially if you want them to let you in their existing program is very hard. I bet if you put your heads together you could find a way to swing it for such a short time. Best of luck to you.
  10. by   rnmomtobe2010
    I could not have said it better!!![quote=Jules A]Warning this probably isn't what you want to hear so feel free to stop reading now.

    My two cents would be that no way in hell would I quit school and move at this point, especially for someone who doesn't even have a job and is turing down good offers.
  11. by   Megsd
    Yeah, I'd say since you're so close to finishing, let him take the job and move, you stay and finish school, and move out there after graduation (if that's what you want). If money won't be an issue with the out of state job, then hopefully it won't be an issue to fund two homes for a few months.

    Other option if you are willing to move, contact schools in the new area and explain your situation and ask if your credits (specifically which classes you have taken) will transfer. If they transfer without a problem, fine, but make 100% sure they will before you move.
  12. by   bekindtokittens
    Quote from Megsd
    Yeah, I'd say since you're so close to finishing, let him take the job and move, you stay and finish school, and move out there after graduation (if that's what you want). If money won't be an issue with the out of state job, then hopefully it won't be an issue to fund two homes for a few months.
    I agree with this statement. When I read the OP's post, it seemed like a no-brainer to me. If this is a good, stable, reliable job for your husband, why can't he go out there ahead of you and get the new household set up while you finish school? It may be a bummer to live apart for a little while, but it sounds like it would be for your family's greater good in the future. He'd have a job and you'd have a degree and a future career.
  13. by   beachbum3
    Update: we are staying. We just have to.. I mean, I only have a semester left after this one. He will find a job- already has several interviews lined up...

    Thanks so much for all the advice and support, I appreciate it!
  14. by   azor
    Stick to your studies ,finish and make your own money.Let him go and take the job.The end justifies the means.
    Azor

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