Was I being mean-by not handing over all my notes?????? - page 2

One of my classmates came to me about a week and a half ago and asked for my phone #, she stated that she had a question to ask me? (A little background, this is a girl who doesn't speak to me.... Read More

  1. by   future L&Dnurse
    I don't think you were mean and I wouldn't have sent them all either. I would probably have offered to study with her instead, but if she's having health problems that are interfering with her education then it is her job to go to the instructor(s) and figure it out, not just depend on someone else to provide notes for the classes she slept through. You can - and I would argue, should - help your classmates, but there's a line between helping someone and doing it for them. I think it was beyond generous for you to share a portion of the notes with her, and I hope that it is helpful for her if she is truly having a health issue.
  2. by   Lisa CCU RN
    I always say if something bothers you enough to ask, then it must be true. True or not, they are your notes to do with what you want, but I would have given them to her. Why? Well, she wasn't asking to cheat off of you and maybe she was thinking she could study alone and then ran into trouble.

    I say do unto others.
  3. by   jla623
    Depends on if I liked her or not.

    I would much rather send the notes than waste my time studying with this person.

    I find many times that if you help people out of a bind like this, you will find yourself in a bind and you will have them to help you out. May sound a bit I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine-ish, but sometimes that's just how the world works.

    And for an added note, that is how I have made many friends in classes in previous years. I helped them out, then they returned the favor, then we both realized that we can count on eachother for help. It's a pretty good deal, especially if you miss a class.
    Last edit by jla623 on Dec 12, '07
  4. by   nikki_nurse
    I think that those notes are you own notes and it is up to you to decide whether to share them. Its not being mean, but rather protecting all your hard work. I have had times where people ask me for the notes from class but if they are always skipping class for no good reason, I don't see any obligation to let them use them (if they miss for a good reason, of course I will let the borrow). I'm not trying to come off as being mean, but its just my feelings on the subject.
  5. by   SoulShine75
    nursing notes are tricky because a lot of time is spent on writing them, re-writing, organizing them and sometimes re-typing them. I would have given them to her, because I just wouldn't care really, but it does sting a bit to turn them over. I guess I'm a push over. I think that if you didn't want to give them, you shouldn't have to. They're your notes.
  6. by   NurseJeanB
    IMHO I would have given her the notes. Yes, you worked hard on them, but by giving them to her you are not taking anything away from yourself. Nursing is about caring and I hope that if I should ever need help that my classmates would be equally willing to share. If reading your notes on her timetable will help her learn the material then I say it is better to have classmates that have learned the material. She should have asked you earlier, but we all have our faults. If you give her the notes and she still fails, then you know you tried to help, but she, ultimately, has to achieve the grades to go on.
    I find that when others ask me for help studying, or want my notes that I do a much more thorough job learning the material and I reap benefits I never expected.

    Regards,
    Jean
  7. by   nurz2be
    Quote from danibanani
    i'm the black sheep here, but i would have emailed her the notes.

    life happens and nursing school is hard enough. if someone needs help, i try to help, period. i might need the favor returned someday.

    just my $.02.
    i am the black sheep with you dani. i do share my notes with others. in fact i have sent my ap notes to dozens of people here. i send copies of my notes to classmates all the time. it only takes a second to do. i look at it this way....if you believe in karma or what comes around goes around...i want all the good to come back around to me sometime when i am in need and some time it will come. i don't think you were "mean" per se. but hey, that is me and the way that i think and the way i will continue to conduct myself. if you think about these posts here in the student section, if all these nurses and other students chose not to assist because they already did their time, where would we be? what would the point of this forum be if not to help one another. just my 2 pennies worth and my opinion. when i see posts like vicky and daytonite and others, who spend obvious amounts of time on here helping us students, they don't have to and noone asks them to take time from their day to help...but that is who they are and what they like to do....help others..... it is all personal choice i believe.
    Last edit by nurz2be on Dec 13, '07
  8. by   Mexarican
    yup mean...notes are just notes w/o a brain behind them. Beware of Karma...it get's you when you least expect it. Plus it's only notes...you took them for yourself why should u care if someone else wanted to look at them...seems petty to me...but i'm in the minority here...seems everyone wouldn't have passed them on. Oh well...c'est la vie...

    Mex
  9. by   BoonersmomRN
    Everyone in my class shared notes. Some more than others but we all came together as 1 big family...especially in the last semester. We all shared and we all helped one another out. I would have sent them in the bat of an eye. If my hard work can help someone else out..good for me. Karma, like they say, will come around.
  10. by   danissa
    No, I don't think you were being mean, just careful with the work you have put in. In our workplace, its common practice to help each other out when taking the intensive care course. One of my co-workers, (and shes a friend), has been plodding away at this course for ages now, well over the usual timeframe. Anyway, as I had help from friends when I was doing this course, I gave her my essays, reflective journals etc, just to read over and get an idea of how they are marked etc.(gave her them 2 years ago, btw!). Since shes still working at it, I dont want to ask for them back just yet, but am now having serious misgivings about handing them over to her. She was telling me what she was looking at for one of her reflections, and OMG...its the very same as one of mine! Now I have the horrible feeling that shes just going to re-hash MY work and hand that in. I need to approach her about it, but shes a friend, and I know how hard things are for her right now. Am dreading asking her now.
    Anyway, sorry this is so long. Just wanted to say I guess, that you think you are being kind by sharing, but it may backfire.
  11. by   jackson145
    I know it sounds cynical, but life has taught me that "no good deed goes unpunished".
  12. by   Oz2
    "no good deed goes unpunished".
    Amen to that!

    I'm more than happy to help people that help themselves. I'll share everything with you if I know you're serious about learning.

    I won't go out of my way and give my notes to a student who I know is not putting in the effort on their own. I'm not doing them any favors by doing the work for them and, frankly, I resent being used that way.
  13. by   NurseJeanB
    Wow, that is pretty cynical. We also have as one of nursing's main values -beneficence. I think that the OP stated the notes were to be emailed so there was not a chance that by giving them to the other woman she would be in a situation where she would not have them herself. Also, my understanding is that the girl needed them to study not to turn in as her own work. If that happened I would have a problem with that. Studying and plagiarism are two different things.

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