Did You Know?
allnurses is the largest community for nurses on the web. We now have over 388,392 members! Join today to network with other nurses, laugh, share, and much more.
| |  Unsupportive family and chore-studying.
Okay, so I've got a few questions. I figure next time I need to gather everything together and put it in one post.  Allright.
So, my family isn't...well, the most supportive. I was talking to my mother and she made it clear that she thinks family comes before school. Well...since I rather dislike my family...I think the other way. Does anyone have any good ideas how to deal with an unsupportive family? I've tried the calm discussions, the demonstrating my workload, etc, and she, er, doesn't care. I'm hoping to try to sit down with my family when classes start, showing them my syllabi/planner, and asking for some solitary study time and not to be bothered, etc. Any other tactics that might be useful? I've got a really, really busy schedule. 
My second...part, I guess. Okay, so I was just wondering if anyone has suggestions to studying during chores?  I typically mow the lawn, clean bathrooms, vacuum, reorganize DVDs, etc. I was thinking recording lectures and putting them on my iPod and listening to them then, taking textbooks around with me and taking notes during breaks...anything else? (I know this may sound silly, but I'm gonna need the time to study.) 
Any ideas are very welcome!
 Search Tags
| | Advertisement Sponsored Links | | | | No. 1 | 
Aug 22, 2009, 10:21 PM
Re: Unsupportive family and chore-studying.
I wouldn't expect a dramatic change in your family...not to be cynical, but you're going to nursing school...they aren't. It's a big life change for you, not them.
So, instead of expecting them to give you solitary time/space....go someplace else to study (library--either school or public, a coffee shop, a friend's house....whatever works for you!). The point is that instead of expecting everyone in your family to change their behavior to support your life change, change your behavior and avoid a problem.
As far as studying while doing other things. Definitely listen to lectures (I do this all the time)...the other thing you could do is make notecards out of your notes and put them on a ring. That way they're easy pull out and test yourself as your doing other things.
Best of luck!!  | | No. 2 |
Aug 22, 2009, 10:38 PM
Re: Unsupportive family and chore-studying.
My first time in college my mother was the least supportive person in the world and I never was able to study, I got angry and gave up. CuriousMe is exactly right, you are going to have to find your own place to study. This situation as frustrating as it is will give you a huge problem solving skills and abilities.
| | No. 3 |
Aug 22, 2009, 10:40 PM
Updated
Aug 22, 2009 at 10:47 PM by JBudd
Re: Unsupportive family and chore-studying.
Rather than hauling your texts around all the time, try making flash cards that you can just whip out and review.
Doesn't sound like Mom is going to be impressed with seeing your work load, I wouldn't give her any more ammo to go after you with (see, its too much. you shouldn't do it. blahblahblah). I take it you still live with the parents? Make a list of the chores you do, and when you'll do them, refuse to accept anything else that interferes with study time. Schedule them when the library is closed, study there or anywhere else that family won't have access to you. ( what do you mean you can't help me with this right now?! All you're doing is sitting around reading!)
(Gee, I sound like Curious  )
| | No. 4 |
Aug 22, 2009, 10:51 PM
| | No. 5 |
Aug 22, 2009, 11:02 PM
Re: Unsupportive family and chore-studying.  Thank all of you so incredibly much! I hadn't even thought about all of that.
My mother (I'm 19, so I do still live at home) has lectured me about not "staying at school to escape the house" so all that means is after class, I'll pop over to the library (or maybe Starbucks, or simply staying on campus), study for a few hours, head home, do chores, and study a bit afterwards.
Thank all of you so much for your encouragement - I know it's going to be a rough quarter, but thank you.  I feel a lot better now.
| | No. 6 |
Aug 23, 2009, 11:26 AM
Re: Unsupportive family and chore-studying. My family was very similar...I was a single mom with 2 girls, ages 1 yr and 11 yrs when I went to school. I couldn't do it all by myself, so I moved back home...yep, there were lots of chores, but I didn't even try to study before my kids were in bed. My parents went to bed fairly early, so, around 8:30 every night, out came the books and the dining room became study hall. Many nights my mom told me it was time for me to go to bed b/c I got up at 4:30 to be able to leave on time, but it had to be done. So, my goal was to be in bed by midnight every night. After a while, she got tired of harping at me (I was 35 afterall) and when I brought home A's, maintained my kids schedules, kept up with their extra curriculars, and held down a job, eventually, she quit and just observed silently.
I tell you all of this to encourage you...prove to them that you can and WILL do this, with or without their help. Just do the best you can, and take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, and don't waste any of it. You can do it, just keep your eye on the prize! And in the end, they'll either be proud of you or not, but YOU will have accomplished your goal!
| | No. 7 |
Aug 23, 2009, 12:20 PM
Re: Unsupportive family and chore-studying.
1) Find someplace where you are comfortable to study.
2) Chores don't take up THAT much time. You'll have plenty of study time leftover.
| | No. 8 |
Aug 23, 2009, 05:32 PM
Re: Unsupportive family and chore-studying.
From personal experience...study when you're at your strongest and work on chores when you're tired. If you're a morning person, study then and do chores in the evening when you're tired but can still perform "manual" labor tasks. If you're a night-owl then you might study late at night and do chores early in the day.
You can work it out AND succeed (and move out!) if you find ways to work around your family. It'll be worth it to get out on your own and be financially independent from your family. As a mom of adults, I can say that your mother may enjoy having you around to visit occasionally much more than she does having you live at home as an adult!
| 
| 377 members
3,626 guests 4,003
| 1 | | | 12 | | | 2 | | | 9 | | | 17 | | | 11 | | | 15 | | | 16 | | | 37 | | | 14 | | | 20 | | | 23 | | | 19 | | | 24 | | | 10 | |
|
Nursing News