When I first started nursing school, I spent the majority of my beginning weeks going through the normal nursing school hazing process: intensely studying, vacuuming down as many carbs as one can humanly acquire, doubting my self-worth, forgetting to blink, and trying to find my bowel sounds with my stethoscope (and subsequently panicking/determining that I was in fact a zombie when I couldn't hear anything). I was constantly nervous, nauseous, and excited (oh, and did I mention thankful for the forgiving elastic waistband of my new scrubs?). However, above all of these emotions, I was ecstatic to finally be at the starting line of nursing after a long path of college classes, program applications, and resume building. Despite the fact that I was constantly busy with school requirements (I'm looking at you, HESI case studies), I had moved to a new city to start my program, and at times I felt soul-crushingly lonely without the comforting safety net of my family and friends immediately around me. A phone call home can be fantastic, but I realized quickly how much I took the luxury of meeting up with friends for lunch or a girl's night in with movies and sushi for granted. Also, I forgot what a delicate process it is to make friends: you really can't force it. There's a surprisingly thin line between asking new acquaintances to get a drink after class and then feeling like you're lurking and mouth breathing around a group of people, just waiting to be talked to. Sometimes you just want to headbutt them and wind around their legs, like a cat. I'M HERE, CAN'T YOU SEE ME? HI! LET'S BE FRIENDS. I just wanted people to know me already, without me having to break them in. Can't you just accept me in sweatpants, and know/be okay with the fact that I'm going to eat 3 servings of pizza? CAN'T YOU JUST LOVE ME ALREADY? Sigh. As I write this now, several months have passed, and my first semester is over. I am full of experiences of triumph, failure, constantly sweating through my scrubs, and the smell of C. Diff. I can also admit to several bragging rights. First, all of the patients I treated are still alive (I know, I'm equally as shocked). Second, I can still fit into my yoga pants, despite the best efforts of all the pasta I hoover down on a nightly basis. Third, I can give one hell of a bed bath (and by 'one hell of a bed bath', I mean that no one has lost a limb while I awkwardly fumble around for wipes and a hair comb). In sum, I have made it. I am less scared of the patients, more sure of myself, better educated on the skills and requirements of nursing, and am more excited than I imagined possible to continue learning about this art form. But what I am most proud of is this: while I may have made it, it was absolutely not on my own. Because of the bonding experiences I had within my first clinical and cohort experiences, I gained confidence in myself and took the first real steps of becoming a nurse. I formed a community of friends within my cohort, began to learn my new city, and stopped feeling so alone. Thanks to all the amazing nurses I encountered on the floor and in class who instructed me and pulled me aside to help correct my mistakes, I have a better understanding of how to be successful. From the thousands of faceless nurses with strong voices I can find online or in books or in magazines, I am encouraged to keep going, and creatively approach the problems I come across in my own day-to-day practice. And with the strong foundation of all the nurses I have worked alongside in my old jobs, I am motivated and inspired to continue down this path. Within the nursing community, I know without a shadow of a doubt in my mind that I can look anywhere to find someone to bond, vent, laugh, cry, stress, celebrate, and learn with. I feel lucky and inspired to be a part of this supportive and caring profession. Initiated through the learning and understanding of the career, the daily shared experiences of patient care, and most importantly, the support of my fellow nurse: I am here. Every day in healthcare there's this battle against hurt and pain and death, and within this battle there are the people who choose to join the fight, dedicate their lives to helping others, and help eliminate suffering through nursing. These were the ideals that first inspired me to go into his profession, and I now find myself (starting out) on the same side of the battle lines as all the experienced and amazing nurses who came before me. Initiated through shared experience, and accepted through the kind and caring personalities of all the nurses I have met who take the time to make me better, I join an amazing lifelong support system of compassionate men and women. With wit and charm and charisma and caring and sympathy and empathy and insight and kindness, nurses must stand at the front lines of disease and sadness and joy and be a pillar of strength for the patients and their families, their friends, their communities. I can't wait to learn more. ?