The mature polite way to say NO!!!!

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

For our Psych final i spent 5 hours creating a 1/2 inch thick study guide, with typed notes, copied pages from the book, etc. Worked very hard on this. I made one copy of these extra for the lady i sit by in class because she is a hard worker, and in exchange, every subject we have she makes a sheet with the key words and definitions on them, or drugs and their uses. We're both helping each other, and i have no problem with it. The instructor reviewed in class what was on the exam and this is where i got my notes from.

The PROBLEM is that i was taking my 30 minute lunch in clinical by myself in the corner of the cafeteria to read over my notes, and the lazy ding-dong in my class, he had the nerve to come up to me and ask "omg hey are those PSYCH NOTES? You oughta make me a copy!"

He was serious, too. Heck no i'm not making him a copy. The information i have was provided by the instructor, in the SAME class he was sitting in, only i chose to write it all down while he threw his pencil down, said she's going too fast, and proceded to nap for 15 minutes while she finished the review.

A little background on Lazy Smurf:

HE's the SAME one that tried copying people's notes LAST year, whining that the schoolwork was "just too much" (works 8 hours a week, no kids, etc, uh help me find his stressors here...). The same one that's always looking for a free rides, the one that i'd swear copied someone's A and P exam answers last year, etc. I would describe his attitude as "the world owes me everything".

So now i'm trying to find a reasonable way to say "get off your *** and type your own d*** notes". (He's asked me twice for a copy, and luckily we've gotten interrupted by someone and the subject was dropped.) Reason why i cannot just say THAT is because i'm assigned with this person for a whole month of clinical in January, and would prefer that to go as smooth as possible, and being the wicked ***** of the west will not help matters any. :confused:

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Just come out and say it. "No."

People like this are used to manipulating others into giving them what they want. Don't be one of the manipulated!

This goof-ball probably never hears the word "no."

I bet he'd be so surprised to hear it, he wouldn't know how to react.

Or how 'bout this............

Don't say anything...just smile and look him in the eye.

When he says "Can I have a copy?" Just smile. Then, he may say "Well, can I?" Just keep smiling, don't say anything. :D

I've done this a couple of times (when I've had the presense of mind to remember to do it!) and it's worked.

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Hmm, that's a tough one, I have trouble in situations like this too. It is incredibly forward of him to ask you for your study guide, but you know what? I'll bet that even if you did give it to him, he won't spend that much time looking at it and he won't get much out of it anyway as far as his grade goes. He sounds like a true moocher with sloppy work habits. Tell him you're selling your notes for $5.00 a copy to cover your xeroxing expense and time to prepare it for him (then see how anxious he is to have it!);)

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Specializes in Telemetry/Med Surg.

Try not to get into the habit of making your (hard-worked) notes available to other students who don't have the incliniation to prepare their own notes themselves.

there was a phrase my beloved dearly-departed friend used to say that holds true: Favors turn into Duties.

Just thought I'd pass it along cos it rings true every time!

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Specializes in ICU.

Don't sell it for $5 - sell it for more!!!:chuckle

To be honest - do not worry about doing clinical with this guy in the future - that is the future and a lot may happen between now and then - remember the story of the condemned man who won a year's reprieve on his death sentence by promising the king that he could make the king's favourite horse talk?? When asked what he was going to do in a years time he replied - "Well a year is a long time - I might die, the king might die or the horse might talk."

So in this case you might drop out (unlikely) he might fail (more likely) or he comes through as the best clinical partner you have ever had (or the horse might talk!:roll )

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He sounds like a jerk and no matter what you say he will be angry that he can't freeload off you. If it was me, I would say, "No, I'm sorry but I am not comfortable doing that." If he asks why, just say "Again, I'm sorry but I am not comfortable giving you my notes. I'm sure you can respect that."

Good luck!

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Originally posted by LauraLou

He sounds like a jerk and no matter what you say he will be angry that he can't freeload off you. If it was me, I would say, "No, I'm sorry but I am not comfortable doing that." If he asks why, just say "Again, I'm sorry but I am not comfortable giving you my notes. I'm sure you can respect that."

Good luck!

That's what I would say, too. Then if he begs, which, being a moocher, he might; then I would say it a bit more firmly, telling him NOT to ask you again.

Learning to say "No" get's easier with practice. Don't let anyone manipulate you.

Congratulations on your hard work, and good luck on your exams! :)

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Five dollars is DEFINITELY not enough!

I got into the same sort of rut. I use a laptop for notes now because my hands would start to hurt and because I can type faster than I can write.

A second year student commented to our entire class that THEY had had a note person, and wasn't it wonderful that we had one too?

Well, yeah, for them. I didn't start to resent it until I got complaints that the notes weren't there fast enough, and when I would find out info after the fact that many of them might know, but didn't pass on.

I actually created a yahoo website where the notes were posted because our class was so big (76) my ISP wouldn't let me send out that many emails. I maintained the website so that everybody's email addys were current on there, everybody got invited to join, and it was limited to our class so that instructors couldn't get in there in case we needed a place to vent or to get support. And frankly, I also felt that I could post it there and the least they could do was go get the darned things!

I learned the hard way that you can never please all the people all the time, no good deed goes unpunished, and the mooches will treat you worse than if you didn't have something they wanted. (Then, they would just leave you alone!)

If everybody has equal access, let them get their own notes. Whose going to collect their info in report? Will that be too fast too? And will he throw down his pencil and snooze then too?

For me, I do my own thing, and if anybody else wants to help out, that's great, then we can share. Otherwise, I'm sure they are plenty capable.

Good for you! Stick to your guns!

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Specializes in Medical/Surgical.

LOL lazy smurf....I love it. Yeah I had one of these recently and I'm the type of person who is usually helpful and I can tend to be a bit of a pushover. I had someone in my life in general who would take advantage of me in this way and I finally laid down the law and pretty much told them that their would be no borrowing of my notes, clothes, shoes, CDs, movies etc. I mainly did this because she was the type of person who never respects other peoples property/efforts. I've been very happy about it ever since. Keep in mind...you owe this guy NOTHING. If he gets mad at you so be it. Do not feel bad in telling him no and whatever you do, do not give in. Some people like this just keep pushing until you give in and try to do it in a joking way to make you think that your "buddies" and you should help them out. Don't fall for it. Just take care of yourself.

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Thank you, nursepru--you reminded me of something VERY important, which I needed to remember.....

When someone gets s----y when we set reasonable limits with them, it's a good indicator that we have done them the best deed of all good deeds. We have helped them learn to respect other people's limits.

What a turn on, to be able to see the frustrations of others as proof we did them a favor!

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It irritates the living daylights out of me when people are using other people to get through classes.

Ask yourself a question...are you going to be there to get them thru the NCLEX or out on the floor if and when they actually get to practice?

I am all for helping others, but they have to be helping themselves at the same time, and smurf doesnt sound like he's doing anything but snoozing thru classes!

:zzzzz

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I wouldn't sell the notes for a $1,000 just to prove a point. I work my a** off too in school and I have a 4.0. It pisses some people off but I have earned it....and SO HAVE YOU. YOU are not responsible for this person.....and he definately hasn't earned it. It just burns my a** to see a freeloader......they have just as much of an opportunity to do well is the class as you do...IT'S A CHOICE - he has clearly shown that school isn't to be taken seriously. Put your foot down AND DON'T GIVE IN to this idiot. Only the "strong" will survive nursing school....it will take care of itself. I guess I'm a B**** too.....cause I would just flat out tell him to get his lazy a** out of my face. I really have a problem sugar coating things. Maybe you could talk to your instructor and tell him/her the situation and possibly get a new partner????

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