Supportive Spouses/Significant Other

stressgal, RN · Jan 29, 2004

Count your blessings, I know I do. My wonderful husband is very supportive of my decision to go back to school and told me not to work if it's too much. I quit my "full time" career last June to follow this dream. I didn't work at all over the summer, just focused on a couple of tough classes, then got a part time job in the fall. I am currently working two days a week at a LTC facility as an aide, not glamorous and no where near the money I was making before, but it is great experience and I have a little cash I have earned on my own so I don't feel so guilty. I also will go in if called and it fits into my schedule. I told my sister I feel guilty because my husband works so much, but her reply was that he would work the same amount of time even if I weren't going to school, and it's true. If your significant other is already a worker, not much will change. There have been changes in our budget, needless to say. But I don't need dress clothes, and other expenses from when I worked liked eating lunches out. I have been able to adjust the budget and we are doing quite fine. May not have the money to go on a fancy vacation this spring, but this will change in time. I believe you can do anything with the support of loved ones. Good luck!

angelac1978 · Jan 29, 2004

I am really lucky that my husband is so supportive. He knows what it is like to try and work and carry a full course load so maybe that has something to do with it. Even when we both got laid off and were thinking of moving, he suggested I stay and finish school while he moved and worked full time. That didn't work out though, but he is totally supportive of me starting school again.

A

rpbear · Jan 29, 2004

I just graduated in Dec, and my hubby was sooo supportive through school. He too had a very rough job but allways made sure he came home as soon as he could so I could get some uninterrupted studying. (we have a 7 year old) He also would wake me and get me to bed when I would fall asleep studying. He also made sure that I had some time just for me. I worked durring my first year, but I was miserable. I quit and he supported us through the last year. I am so greatful for him for helping me make my dream come true. I still have yet to take the NCLEX, but I have an interview for L&D on Monday!! I know that I could not have made it if I had to work and go to school. Take his offer as a blessing. You could allways work per piem or part time if you feel guilty about not contributing.

Good Luck!

nursepearl · Jan 29, 2004

I have been with my boyfriend for almost six years and he has been wonderfully supportive. He even brags about me being in school and my accomplishments! I quit my job after a year in nursing school and he has helped me out so much since then. I am also a single mommy...so it can be hard at times. So i woulde say i am blessed to have such a supportive and wonderful person in my life.

Pearl:D

Mom2kids · Jan 29, 2004

Hi -

My husband needed some warming up to of the idea of me returning back to school. I work full time now but will be quitting in June to go back to school and stay home with our 2 kids, 4.5 yrs and 3 yrs old. We have always been a 2 income family and it was more of a scare for him to be the only wage earner ....knowing all the pressure was on him to pay the bills, make ends meat, etc. It's not that he didn't support school, all the changes (mostly money) just made him nervous.

After careful planning and a budget in place for when I quit, he's comfortable with me becoming a SAHM/student. Yes, money will be tighter than before and we'll have to watch our spending but he understands that this has been my dream to be a nurse. He even offered to sell his newer car to eliminate the car payment (we already have 2 older vehicles, but they're paid off). I was floored when he told me this.....after some consideration, I decided to take him up on his offer -- the car goes up for sale next month

My husband is very supportive now and I appreciate all his efforts and sacrifices to help me pursue my dream.

I hope you all find your support system while going through school...if not, you always have us at Allnurses!!!! :kiss

iliel · Jan 29, 2004

my BF supports me fully. He dosn't even want me to take out loans (but I do because I want to pay for it myself!) He cooks, cleans, rubs my back, everything that I would do for him. It's a two way street and he realizes this. Everyone says I should be so lucky..but why? Are these guys really a dime a dozen? There are a million good guys out there that would drop everything to support someone they care about. I knew this the minute I met my BF, it was obvious that he was a kind caring person and on top of that he's a hard worker.

I have no complaints when it comes to the support I get from him. I'm not trying to rub it in anyone's face but it almost seems taboo to talk about the good guys in life? Why is that?

LeesieBug · Jan 29, 2004

I guess I will take advantage of this thread to praise my wonderful husband. He considers my going to school a team effort, and understands that my education benefits our entire family. Just as he understood how important it was for me to stay home with the kids that first ten years.

I thought it was very sweet that for Chistmas he got me a new book bag (very professional looking), a clipboard that is also a carrying case and has a built in calculator, and a foot spa!

He listens patiently to my ranting and raving, when I am having a meltdown about too much schoolwork, and gives me the little nudge of encouragement I need to keep going.

I need to remember to tell him how much I appreciate him. We have been through the mill, financially, for the last 13 years, and are finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Glad to hear about all those other supportive spouses out there!:) They deserve some recognition!

Luv2banurse2004 · Jan 29, 2004

My husband too has been very supportive since the time I begin even entertaining the thought of going to school to become a nurse. He has not had a problem with me not working at times due to the hectic class loads. I took a four month full time job last summer in anticipation of starting with the f/t nursing class in Jan. Lo and behold, I got accepted and was glad to have used that time to pay down some bills so that it wouldn't be so hard on him, being the only one working.

We don't have any children, and my husband decided last year that he too would like the field of nursing, so I have supported him in taking all his pre-req's and sort of trailblazed for him so that he'd know what to expect. I can't ask for a better arrangement, because he is even more supportive knowing he'll be where I am soon! I'm very grateful.

PHM · Jan 29, 2004

From the other side of the fence . . .my wonderful wife of 31 years has supported me through all of this (in the last semester). All situations are a bit different but for any spouse to be non-supportive (after considering all of the obvious reasons. . . financial, kids, etc) is a bit selfish and smacks of insecurity, imho.

It's a trying ordeal for any relationship, but in my years I've realized events like this make a secure relationship solid.

Best of luck and happy to hear of all the support on both sides.

Phil

SunnyRn2B · Jan 30, 2004

Hey! I am soooo glad to hear about the good spouses and significant others for a change. :) I really feel better after hearing from all of you. I'm telling you, I have met my knight in shining armour. And he showed up when I was'nt even looking. I am going to study hard and do the best I can to show my appreciation. The part about him working hard whether I am in school or not is TRUE! I had not thought of that. THANKS! Our vehicles are paid for and we don't owe any bills. So, we are blessed in that sense too. I guess I need to chill out.

Anyway, to all of our wonderful spouses and significant others...

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! :kiss

bonjovigirl · Jan 30, 2004

Originally posted by LeesieBug
I guess I will take advantage of this thread to praise my wonderful husband. He considers my going to school a team effort, and understands that my education benefits our entire family.

My husband says the same thing. My job is to go to school and study, and his job is to work for money, all to reach a common goal. I am always saying super nice things about my honey, but I am going to say more. He wanted me to quit working, to concentrate on school, he admires my "studies" and although he works like a million hours a week, he never expects to come home to a spotless house or a gourmet meal. ( just moderatly not filthy, and so long as theres food on the table, he's happy) I just know how much i loved him before all this, and now I know, my husband is just the most wonderful person I could have ever hoped to come across in my life, let alone marry. And in turn I tell him each and every day how much he means to me, and I study my tushie off for those good grades. I got married young, and I remember everyone trying to talk me out of it. Getting married young is only supposed to be for girls who get pregnant, not independent girls out there on their own, my friends would say.( I can't even begin to say all thats wrong with that statement) I am so thankful I went on my gut feeling and took the pluge. I know everyone says no marriage is perfect, ( and boy are they right) but if there is close, we have it.