Support from family/friends?

  1. Out of curiosity, how supportive have family and friends been with your decision to enter Nursing School? Are they offering encouragement? Emotional, financial, or any other type of positive support? Or are they indifferent? Or are they trying to discourage your dreams of becoming a nurse?

    Since I made my decision this summer I have told everyone I know, and the vast majority have not been overly supportive. Most have been actively discouraging me while others are indifferent. Yes I understand many are worried about the financial impact my decision will have over the next 2-3 years--they fear I won't be able to support myself during this period--and others are just trying to push me into yet another dead-end job. My extended family (mother's side) is almost exclusively blue-collar working class people and they don't understand why I can't be happy working in an office or something similar. Why can't I get a job with a city as a clerk so I can have a nice retirement some say? Maybe you will get married one day others say. Wow that program sounds really hard, maybe you should try something easier others say. So far only one person has said go for it, you will make an awesome nurse.

    I guess I am disappointed because for the first time in my life I am really excited about what I am doing. I would love to share this with those I am closest to, or at least get some positive feedback, but I guess it isn't going to happen. Oh well!

    Anyway how have you fared in the support department?
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  2. 28 Comments

  3. by   Jen2
    You can always come here for support and feedback. You will make a great nurse if thats what you desire. Many people just don't understand. My mom is supportive in the fact that she just allowed me to move back home with her (I had my own place since I was 19 and had to cut my hours at work due to entering the ADN program this fall.), but she doesn't understand the difficulty of the major. What upsets me is that I have done pre-reqs for two years, and when I recieved my acceptance letter it was my biggest accomplishment so far. My mom just said "I thought you were already in nursing school." God love her, she has no clue. On the other hand my boyfriend is an RN and is very supportive and understands what I'm going through.

    You will find that most people are not intentionally being rude but are just ignorant to the competitiveness, and difficulty of the major. People who are not in the medical field themselves, or in nursing school have no clue. Thats why we come here to allnurses. Best of luck to you.
  4. by   RNsweetie
    At my old job ( a cleaner at a personal care home) when I was leaving to come back to school, alot of the clients families were very discouraging, saying things like: thats going to be had with 3 children, what are you thinking, your kids are going to miss you , your not going to have much time with them............
    It is not quite the same thing because all of my family has been supper supportive in the emotional sence. But none the less it took me by surprise. But then I figgured that this isn't for everyone and it was up to me and no one else.
    It was a huge decision but the right one for me and my family I knew what I was getting into, and so far so good.
    Good luck and don't worry what others think.
  5. by   debralynn
    Like the other poster said, you can always come here for support! I was very fortunate. Because I was in school, my mom came over once a week to help around the house, my father mowed my yard, and yes, as bad as this is going to kill me, yes, even my ex helped out with my son a little more! I pray your family and friends will come around for you! Hang in there, and good luck!
  6. by   iliel
    Funny how people can be. I have found that my TRUE friends are supportive. Half my family thinks I'm "not book smart enough" (my grandmother actually said that to me!)
    The weirest reaction I got was from a high school teacher, she was a pt at the dental office I worked in, she told me the pay is bad, the hours suck, and you should go into a feild where other people will respect you. How can a high school teacher, who should support kids dreams of becoming what ever they want, tell me that I shouldn't do this!
    All the negative, just makes me work that much harder.
  7. by   echo*echo
    Hi Debralynn,

    Yes this board has already provided a tremendous amount of information and support. So glad I found it and had the courage to post! I really look forward to getting to know more people here so we can share our trials and tribulations, and most importantly support one another. I always wanted to be a cheerleader! GO NURSING STUDENTS!

    I am getting ready to move, so hopefully I can make new friendships with fellow students and those already in the profession. I am certain I won't have any social life for the next few years so I wil need a sounding board!!! Family? Well family is family! I may not always understand them, but they are the only family I have so I will love them just the same. I just wish they would get as excited over this as they do when a family member buys a new car!!!

    Anyway I am sure to drive everyone batty here the next few years!
  8. by   Mandylpn
    Hi: Who cares what others think, if you are smart enough, etc. they will probably be the first ones to call you for health advice! Honestly, I never felt myself smart enough to go into nursing, but at 45 I said this is it and I am going to do it. My husband and kids are very proud of me, still I do not think they know how hard I have to work in school. Keep on with your dreams. maybe hanging out with your nursing buddies from school will give you confidence. good luck!
  9. by   francine79
    I remember when I told everyone I was going to nursing school. Alot of people responded with "Yuck! You don't want to do that. It's a nasty job!" I currently work in a restaurant, so I replied, "Oh and walking out of your job covered in food and smelly grease isn't?" I think people reply negatively about nursing because it isn't considered a white collar job and most people don't realize how much intellect is really involved. I've noticed alot of people still have the mindset that you are to marry rich.
  10. by   GraceyB
    I have wonderful support from my boyfriend. Emotionally and financially. He encourages me and gives me pep talks when I feel that I am not going to make it. We alternate on paying every other class. My parents don't quite understand why I am going back to school. Then again they are old school and think that after high school, I should have gone into the work field and not into college. I am now 28, no kids, (what better time to do this) have an AA and now back in school in the pre-clinical squence of the RN program.

    I come to this board to get insight, encouragement, advice, strength, etc. Everyone has always been so supportive here. I don't pay attention to those people that try to discourage me from going into nursing. I look at it as they didn't have the courage to do it so they want to discourage me or that they are not where they want to be in their lives so they try to stop me froming going forward. I won't let them. I am doing what I want to do and am looking toward my future.

    A lot of people that are not in the healthcare field do not know what nursing really entails so they have all these weird ideas about what nursing is. Nurses no longer have to wear an all white dress with a little cap, sit a paitent's bedside with a washcloth to bring down their fever, or stand when doctors enter the room. We use our brains, hands, emotions to take care of sick folks. I am very happy to go into the nursing field and I think that we really need to continue to encourage each other to make it through school snd clinicals.
    Gracey
  11. by   Cynthiann
    I am very fortunate to have a very supportive family and no one so far has put down for the idea of becoming a nurse. Right now both my parents and my husband's parents help us out financially with things here and there. I also have my mother in law as an occassional babysitter.

    I've had many people praise me for deciding to go to school although I'm a stay at home mother with small children. Since I go to a community college I meet so many women in their 30's and 40's who have commended me for being able to go to school because they didn't do it themselves when they were my age (I'm 23).

    Like everyone else has said, it's great to be able to come to allnurses and have so many people to get support from because we are all in this together. It's a place for me to talk about my future career because my family is probably getting tired of me talking about it.
  12. by   Carolanne
    I've had a mixed bag - lots of support from friends, neighbors, etc., but kind of cool responses from some family members. My sister in law said "I could never do that. If I messed up on a medication or hurt someone, I could never forgive myself." I think sometimes people are a little envious, maybe intimidated that they couldn't do it themselves, so it's just easier to chop it down. Follow your heart, listen to what your inner voice tells you, and pursue your goal. Show 'em all how it's done! Good luck!!
  13. by   marilynmom
    I have a lot of great support as well. My husband in my main supporter (both financially and emotionally) and both my parents are also great!

    I have only had one negative comment from my step-MIL. She went to nursing school at a community college here and ended up *hating* nursing when she was finished...after all that school she just ended up hating it and quitting and working some other job. So she is always saying ruide things to me about it- "why in the world do you want to be a nurse?" etc. I just ignore her

    And I totally agree with everyone else. People a lot of times just have no clue what nurses do! Even if they have been in a hospital they really don't have a clue as to how hard the schooling is, how SMART nurses are and what they really do! I know before I was interested in nursing I though nurses were just a job and had a somewhat negative view of them- I think that is *very* common. Nursing has also been looked down upon- that is nothing new. When some of my friends and family see my school books they are always FLOORED to see what nurses have to study and know.

    M
  14. by   juji fruit
    I had to overcome the blatent disaproval of my best freind to get this far in my training. When I was taking my prereq's, she told me my one-year old was "sad" because of me going to school because she cried when I had to leave her with a babysitter. To this day, she does not encourage me at all. Every once in a while she will remind me that her mom, an RN, hated her job and quit it to be a checker at a grocery store. I do have a tolerant husband, who is not overtly encouraging, but has not complained about the financial burden and a dirty house. My dad and sister on the other hand are very encouraging. It just depends on everybody's opinion how encouraging they will be. I am glad I listened to my heart and got out of a dead end job into something that has benefits beyond an hourly wage...

    Court

    P.S. nursing school is the hardest and most rewarding thing I have done, second to being a parent, of course :0)

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