Spouses have no idea what it takes!

[ArrowRN]

I am just so fedup with my wife wanting to squeeze more time out of me, possibly at the demise of my nursing school career. In the next few weeks I got like 3 or 4 papers that are due, I started them early and I was hoping to have 2 done this weekend. But no, yesterday my wife plans a huge birthday party for our daughter, which was fine. I gave that day up and just relaxed, cooked bar-b-que and chilled out. But this morning I woke up early and started on my papers and she was like "aren't you gonna help me clean up?" I told her I gave up my whole day yesterday and she should clean up cause I'm behind on my work, she got mad and was like she needs to do this and that. I just dropped my work and started cleaning, then she was like, why am I being so thorough with trying to clean the whole place she only wanted the dishes and kitchen and stuff off the floor but I added mopping and vacuuming. I was like gsss either the house has to be clean or dirty and we got a baby and the floor needs to be mopped. Anyways she left me to it,eat breakfast, fixed the kids breakfast, did not even make a meal for me and she got dressed and went of to church.

I am just so fedup off that spouses have no idea of the stresses nursing student have to go through and they think everything is all easy strolling. During my prereqs it was the same but I admit I was all into school and cut even birthday parties out of my schedule. Now that I am in nursing school I even sit and spend time playing with the kids, I taught my daughter how to ride a bike without training wheels and I was being more balanced but the wife keeps pressuring me for more of my time that I literally do not have! She had better not make it a choice between my career and her because my career is more important, not just for me, but it will help the entire family, especially considering the fact that she does not work. I already turned in one of my paper late 2 weeks ago when I was sick and the instructor was mad and cut 20points off I might not make it. Sorry for venting but this is getting ridiculous. I'm just about ready to move to the garage or somewhere to have some peace and get my work done. Oh did I mention I have an exam tomorrow on 8 chapters?

[MyOwnBlueSky]

I had a boyfriend while I was in LPN school. By the time I took boards I was 'single' again. I had a husband when I went to RN school. By the time I took the NCLEX-RN, I was divorced. I had another husband when I started the RN-BSN program. Guess what? Exactly! No more significant others for me until I reach the top!!!! Unfortunately, there are those who want to bask in the glory with you but want no parts of the struggles to get there....very sad.....[/quote']

"Unfortunately, there are those who want to bask in the glory with you but want no parts of the struggles to get there...."

Well said!!

[Mega hair]

sounds all too familiar, they dont get it. it was hard for me as well but i made it through and so will you. much luck!

[Larry3373]

Wow!! Im just about to start nursing school in the Fall. I told my spouse and friends how hard its going to be. I have kids also so i hope that its not that bad because i dont want them to feel left out. After reading this, i am definitely worried. I hope that i am able to handle everything.[/quote']

It's all about time management. You may have to go to bed earlier and wake up at 4 or 5 to do a few hours of studying uninterrupted every day. You work hard throughout the week and you can try to reward yourself with a little free time on the weekends

[WordWrangler]

Do not forget to point out that when it's all over and you have your degree, the two of you can sit together again and completely re-work job priorities, housework priorities, schedule vacations and dates, etcetera. Promise to do that. And then just keep your foot down, firmly, when she balks against how awful it is right now. I KNOW it is. My own home life is nothing but tension and exhaustion and me studying and just every once in awhile my husband or my son will leave me a little note with a prepared lunch in the fridge, encouraging me to keep up the good work as I'm leaving for my day while they are both still sleeping.

These aren't easy choices and no, they don't prioritize your family RIGHT NOW, but what you're doing right now will benefit you ALL in a couple years. As I said first, make sure she knows that when these years are OVER, she has an equal hand in divvying up the housework and chores and whatever else. And be prepared that she may never, ever, ever, ever want to run another load of laundry in her life. LOL. Promote that balance that will come, and remember to appreciate her for taking a lot on her shoulders right now. You are doing the same, but there is NO WAY for her to understand that without going through it. Good luck to you all.

[ArrowRN, BSN, RN]

Well things finally calmed down now that finals is over and I'm on summer break. I did talk to her and the wife did not say it but while we were talking I think she was wondering if I was cheating on her or whatever. To be honest, yeah there are lots of nice girls in class but I ain't 20 yrs old anymore and I ain't got no time for her much less another woman, and I was never that type of guy anyways. I think she just feels left out. During my break I plan to focus on motivating her and just being their for her. I made it through semester 1, got 4 more to go. hopefully we will make it.

[TamTamRN-RRT]

Awwww