Some students must think...continued

  1. Some students must think that, if you don't know an answer, you might get some marks by making the poor examiners smile.

    Medical

    Q. What is the first thing you would do to someone who has been immobilised in a road accident?
    A. Rape them tight in a blanket and give them a sweet cup of tea.

    Q. What is artificial respiration commonly known as?
    A. The kiss of death.

    Q. What should you do with someone you have found unconscious in the water?
    1. Lay them on their backs and give them artificial insemination.
    2. Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration.

    Q. How can you help someone who has fainted?
    1. Rub the person's chest or, if it's a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead.
    2. Put its head between the knees of the nearest doctor.

    Q. What are steroids?
    A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

    What is a common treatment for a bad nosebleed?
    1. Circumcision.
    2. Put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.

    Q. How would you treat a head cold?
    A. Use an agonised to spray the nose until it drops into your throat.

    Q. What should be done if someone has been bitten by a dog?
    A. Put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

    Q. What has to be established before giving a blood transfusion?
    A. If the blood is affirmative or negative.

    Q. How should you remove dust from the eye?
    A. Pull the eye down over the nose.

    Q. What is an enema?
    A. Someone who is not your friend.
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  2. 5 Comments

  3. by   kittyw
  4. by   RNIAM
    OMGoodness!! That was so funny:roll
  5. by   babynursewannab
    I got in trouble for laughing too loud at work!!! :chuckle
  6. by   Mkue
    YOU CRACK ME UP ALL THE TIME :chuckle :roll
  7. by   pjs40
    :roll

    that was cute...thanks

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