should i go for the lpn?

[mdv0731]

So I need some advice..I started out in an RN program in 2009. I made it to the second semester and flunked out. I had alot going on in my personal life that was causing me not to focus or do well. Since then I decided to leave nursing and pursue an EMT certification. Ive been doing this now and working for a couple months but I know that I cant keep doing this forever. Im only 5 ft and 115lbs its hard for me to lift most pts and im worried about a back injury long term. Plus I always saw myself working in a hospital not on an ambulance my whole life. Things in my personal life have got much better my brother finally made it home from iraq and I got a new bf who is a paramedic so we have alot in common. I bring pts in the ER all the time and I find myself watching the nurses and really beating myself up about everything that happened. The truth is I felt extremely overwhelmed in nursing school. I was in a BSN program where we were taking 7-8 classes and going to clinicals. I had alot of test anxiety and anxiety during clinicals such as shaking while I put on sterile gloves, mind would go blank and I couldnt remember how to do a foley catheter. I always felt like an idiot. Teachers would get mad at me and I would usually go home and cry everyday. I really wanted to be a nurse though so I dont understand why it was so difficult. I went into nursing school with a 3.7 gpa. I was a biology major and had just completed 2 years before I decided on nursing. Ive kinda blocked myself away from the whole nursing thing and tried looking into other options. I applied to respiratory therapy school cuz as an EMT we deal with breathing and airway and I found that interesting but the more I go to the ER these days I wonder why everything got so messed up and why I couldnt just become an ER nurse like I had wanted. Ive looked into going back to school for my RN but since im not allowed back at my previous school since i failed 3 classes i cant transfer to another RN program. Ive been accepted to start RT school in the fall but i just keep thinking about nursing I dont know why but from everything that happened it brought my confidence down. I feel like a complete failure and Im afraid no matter what I do im gonna fail now. Im scared to fail RT school and the only way I can do RN again is if I start all over and not from where I started lower than that and do an lpn program and then bridge. Im worried if id be wasting time an lpn school I would start in aug and finish around nov. of next year. Im worried about the job market i feel like there are no jobs anymore for lpns but ive also heard that the RT field is saturated so no one can find jobs there either w/o prior experience. Any advice do you think its stupid to do lpn after everything ive been through?

[cnnconstance]

It depends on the job market in your area. There are not many hospitals or clinics that hire LPN's. In my area, they will hire a medical assistant before they hire an LPN. I was very fortunate and love LTC, I was hired one month after I passed the NCLEX. Look at what is offered in your area, and then do what your heart desires. Please don't think of yourself as a failure, NS is extremely time consuming and demanding. With your experience as an EMT and your determination you can do this and succeed. If a Medical Assistant program is offered look into that, in WI it is a one year course. You may even have many of the pre-req's done. Good Luck