Really bummed

  1. Hi Everyone,

    I have been lurking here for a while and really appreciate this board. I had intended on starting the Nursing program in my area in Fall 2004, once my prereq's are finished. I have a 17 month old daughter and I am expecting a boy on May.

    I spoke to the director of the Nursing program at my school and asked her what the typical weekly schedule would be like. To make a long story short, between the classes, labs and clinical time spent and commute time to various area hospitals, I would hardly see my kids, who would be a little over 1 and 3 years old at that time. Plus, the cost of childcare would be astronomical. She so much as told me that I should reconsider my plans and maybe wait another year. I will probably start in Fall 2005, when kids are a little older.

    I know its only a year longer, but I am really upset about this. My current pregnancy induced depression does not help. My husband does not understand why I am upset because its only a year. Its a year longer that I have to continue to live in the area that I do (which I hate because its very expensive to live here and can't buy a house!!!) Plus some distance from the inlaws would also be nice :P

    Anyone else have to make these hard decisions? How did you resolve it? Did you go ahead with the program while kids were so little, or did you decide to wait until they were in elementary school.

    Thanks for reading my vent!

    Sara
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  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   CountrifiedRN
    Back in '99 I had finally finished my prereqs and was accepted into a program, and two months later found out I was pregnant. My other kids were about 10 and 13, and we lived across the country from our family. Due to finances and child care issues for the new baby, I decided to put off school. We also decided that it would be best for us to move closer to our families on the east coast.

    Once we moved, and I had my classes transferred, I had to take additional prereqs that the new school required. I did those, and my husbands job transfered him to another location in the same state. Had to sign up at a new school again.

    I was able to start the program I'm in when my son was about a year and a half. I am going into my last semester. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though you might have a delay, if you really want it, keep going after it. You can still do it.

    Nursing school is like the equivilent of a full time job, and then some. I am fortunate to be able to go through school without having to work, but there are people in my class who have kids, work, and are getting through school. It's very hard, but it can be done.

    Is the rest of your family supportive? You mentioned living close to the inlaws. That might be a good thing if they are willing to help with the kids.

    But even if you have to wait an extra year, you can maybe take some classes in the meantime that will benefit you. It's all dependant on what you think you can handle. You will be in school for 2-4 years, depending on the degree, and I don't think there is ever a time that will be absolutely perfect to enter school. Life happens, especially when you have kids. The biggest trick to getting through nursing school is finding ways around the hurdles that come up.
  4. by   mark_LD_RN
    i had similar decisions had 2 kids wife got preg with 3rd had problems with preg. well i had to decide , i ended up taking time off then got permission to go to nursing program part time it toot me a while and was diffucult but i did it. look at your circumstances and budget see what you really want to do and can afford and do it
  5. by   TheBrainMusher
    My friend had the same problem. She comes from a line of nurses, her mom is a nurse, her older sister a nurse, etc. She got pregnant over 2 years ago and wanted to go back to school. She's been trying to work on the prereq's, her daughter turns 2 in feb, she's hoping that she'll have her prereq's finished and starting school (and accepted due to the high competition in our area) for the class of 2005 or so, so that way she can work when her daughter is in school and won't have to pay day care (her and her husband will work opposite schedules). She's living with her parents and want to move out. Luckily she's been living on one income with her husband and they are trying to get an apt (since she's looking to move to FL for nursing since they will pay for your schools and such with the shortage) and don't want a house b/c A. they are TOOO expensive up here and B. they don't know how long they will be in NJ. I feel your pain b/c I have talked to her at length about it (we are doing our prereq's together) and she remains amazingly optimistic about it (since she could already have her nursing degree from when she started classes at 18). I understand you must be frustrated and I wish you luck with your journey and hope to see you around!! GOOD LUCK!
  6. by   memphispanda
    I had to make a similar decision. I ended up putting off school for almost 4 years because I would have had 2 in daycare otherwise. Having been through 2 semesters so far, I can truthfully say it was for the best. I don't think I could have handled nursing school when I was first planning to go. Things happen for a reason, and while right now it may seem like forever, you will probably be happier in the long run. Missing most of the first few years of your child's life would suck.
  7. by   emily_mom
    I started school when my daughter was a little over a year old. I went part time for a year, and tried to take as many night classes as I could so my hubby could watch her. I have always gotten enough financial aid to cover day care, the hour drive, and everything else. Sure, half of it is in loans, but at this point in my life I would never be able to afford it any other way. Some hospitals offer loan forgiveness programs and others give bonuses for signing on with them. My hospital has the forgiveness program and they give me $2000 just for graduating (no contract).

    Call your school's financial aid office. They can help you out a great deal.

    If you have to wait, just keep thinking that anything good is worth waiting for!!!

    Good luck to you!

    Kristy
  8. by   TeresaRN2b
    I can totally relate. I have a 21 month old daughter and am expecting in April (I also have 3 other children 2 in school). I am very fortunate that my sister is going to watch my kids. I have been home with my kids for going on 5 years now and am just ready to go back. Ok, here would be my best advice. If you are still working on prereqs there are plenty of classes you can still take. I would use that extra year taking all your general ed classes. Go part time and get them knocked out of the way. It will make nursing school a lot easier for you. That's what I've done. Also have you looked around to see if there are any part time programs? That's another option.

    Oh and finally do not let that counselor discourage you! I swear to you they all do that! They tell you all the reasons you can't succeed. Hang in there.
  9. by   renerian
    I had alot of kids when I started nursing school, one 2 and one 2 months. I went to school at night so dad could be with the kids. Is that an option? Yes I missed alot. It was a choice I made.

    renerian
  10. by   Nonnieboo
    Thank you so much for your replies. I was feeling really upset last night, but I woke up with a better perspective on things. You all make really good points. Nursing school will always be here, but my babies will not always be so little. Plus I have been crying about this all weekend and am tired of feeling sorry for myself.

    I now think that this is for the best. I don't know that I could put a 1 year old in daycare fulltime, just my personal opinion. My inlaws still work full time and parents work full time, plus live far from me. I am going to use the next two years to finish my prereq's, enjoy my babies, and then go for it! Part of my problem was kicking myself for not finishing this when I was 19 years old and wanted to be a nurse, but lacked the confidence. I can't go back now, only forward.

    I do have some fortunate circumstances. There is no waiting list at my school and my husband is supportive and told me not to worry about childcare when the time comes "it costs whatever it costs". I'll be interested to see his ideas for coming up with the $$$. I suppose if I really have to, I will try to borrow $$$ from my Mother or Inlaws. YIKES! And Teresa I think you are right about the director trying to discourage me. Congratulations, by the way. Everyone told me that Statistics was a horrible class etc etc, and I did just fine, in fact I got an A! Who knows, maybe I will handle Nursing school and family better than I think I will.

    Anyway, thank you all for your responses! I really appreciate this board and the great people on it and I hope to keep posting here often. I am starting another class tonight. I'm trying to sneak one in before my son arrives!

    Sara
  11. by   Vmommyx4_RN
    Can you break the program into 5 semester opposed to 4? I know my school does that. in the interview portion of the acceptance, they ask questions about you life style and family in an effort to assist you make the right decision.

    The 5 semester is considered parttime. Talk to the University, perhaps you could work out a parttime schedule.

    At any rate, have faith. Anything worth having is worth waiting for. I struggled with the wait myself. But ultimately decided to wait until my youngest was in school full time.

    I could have pushed it up one year (she was preschool the year before) but my sister had a baby, after a cousin's baby died due to sid's just 2 weeks before my sister went back to work I took my sister's baby for the first year. Now my parents babysit her (grandpa retired, grandma is off at noon).

    The wait was good for me, it helped me mentally prepare myself. If you push forward too soon, with too much on your plate, you could really over whelm yourself.

    As a mother of four, enjoy your baby's. My oldest is 18 and in the Air National Guard, everytime he has to leave for training, my heart breaks. I was soooo young when I had him and didn't take the time to enjoy the baby years. (my kids range from 18 to 6)

    I know that I am rambling here, but one last thing, when I was struggling with the wait, I prayed. I asked God to make it easy, what ever path I took- let me know it was right by removing the hurdles and clear the path. It has worked.

    Good luck, I will pray for you!!!
  12. by   RNIAM
    I just wanted to wish you well. I am sorry you have to make such a tough choice. I was ill and had to miss one year of my education because of it. I was so disapointed but I wasn't strong enough to sit in class. I had to do what was best for me at the time but I certainly new that the moment I was able, I was going to be back in school.
  13. by   researchrabbit
    It is always hard going to school once you've taken on other responsibilities.

    One of my friends had to take care of his ailing parents immediately out of high school. He worked full time nights, took one or two classes a semester and got his Bachelor's in Computer Science after TEN YEARS.

    You just have to stick with it. Whenever is better than never!
  14. by   Love-A-Nurse
    originally posted by teresarn2b


    oh and finally do not let that counselor discourage you! i swear to you they all do that! they tell you all the reasons you can't succeed. hang in there.
    and, that some will.

    i will only say that having small children and going to school is doable, i did it in lpn school when mine were 10, 3, and 1. they are 22 and on his own, 15 and 14 but i still have to provide a way for them to get to school on clinical days, therefore, having older children sometimes present a problem, however, look at your situation and determine what will be best for all concerned.

    hang in there and as always, keep the faith.

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