Really At Lost With My Girlfriend (Nursing Student) - page 2

I've been here before asking for advice. I hate to sound like I'm complaining, but I'm not. I just want to vent. I'm really ****** hurt. Excuse my language. Today was supposed to be a special day.... Read More

  1. Visit  BeansMama profile page
    1
    Ffrraanncciiss,

    If there's anything I've learned from relationships it's that calm, collaborative communication is key. My husband and I struggled with this for awhile and then we saw a counselor/mediator. In our area we used Relationship Resolutions. They have people working on their licenses that charge a small fee ($50) for an hour. We went 3 times, it's improved our communication tremendously and my husband had many many hang ups about going to 'therapy' and he will even tell you how much it's helped.

    One major lesson we learned was to 'say what you mean' instead of being passive aggressive or trying to get a reaction out of one another. If you don't understand something just ask her and be aware of your tone of voice.

    Yes there are times where my husband and I realize we have to get over ourselves but most of the time we try talk to each other calmly to try and figure it out, otherwise it will build and build and then explode or cause resentment.


    Best of luck to you!
    BloopBloop likes this.
  2. Visit  BBRANRN2013 profile page
    3
    Wow poor guy asked for help and everyone downgrades him! I think that you just want to feel like you still mean something to her! Nursing school is hard believe me - I'm two semesters away from graduating! I have four children and a husband and still find time to spend with them! Give her some space! It is frustrating in nursing school! Just do the best you can by standing behind her and supporting her to get through this! Show her that you are her biggest fan! Love her!
    BloopBloop, 16weeks, and which_path like this.
  3. Visit  GrnTea profile page
    5
    You guys sound very young and inexperienced in adult relationships compared to people in their thirties or older. This is how we learned, however, and now it's your turn. So here's my advice.

    Bring her flowers once a month or so --- nothing huge and expensive, just a rosebud or two and some greens, a few paperwhite narcissus bulbs in a bowl of marbles to sprout (ask the florist), some daffodils in the spring, and leave them in water on the kitchen table without comment.

    After that, there's my very favorite Dave Barry quotation: " 'Shut up,' he explained."
    sharpeimom, futuresctRN, Bortaz, RN, and 2 others like this.
  4. Visit  i♥words profile page
    2
    Wow, people are harsh! Honestly, I don't think it matters how "busy" people are, they have to make time for the important people in their lives. It's not okay to continually put off spending time with a significant other/family member/best friend because you're too busy or too tired. That is selfish. Even when I feel like bawling my head off because I'm so stressed with school I make sure to spend at least one night with my family, books and studying aside. I need their support, and I want them to know that I care about them. I've waited for many people to get unbusy and untired enough to spend time with me, and the majority of them never did. Life is too short to wait around for people who don't really care. I'd rather spend my time trying to find someone who actually does.
    BloopBloop and WantToBeMidwife like this.
  5. Visit  GrnTea profile page
    4
    Oh, and one other thing: When we are feeling tired, fat, ugly, having a bad hair day, none of our clothes look right (even if we don't appear to be any of these things to the other more rational people in our lives), remember this: We can always pick our earrings. You can always safely compliment those.
    16weeks, sharpeimom, futuresctRN, and 1 other like this.
  6. Visit  livRN2012 profile page
    0
    I've been where she is now. Nursing school is hard. The stress level is through the roof. My fianc came down to my grandfathers funeral and I was absolutely awful to him. It will get better. Try to be understanding to her and realize how she is feeling. It's not easy for her at this point and she needs support. However, you need something as well. Tell her how you feel, but don't make it all about you. Explain that you are here for her and that you will support her. Sometimes all you will get is time together where she studies. Help her with it! Make her schedule work for you. It'll get better
  7. Visit  WantToBeMidwife profile page
    1
    The fact that you are asking for advice says a lot. Give her time and space to rest, and let her know you'll be there when she has the energy to spend time together. Let her feel supported, but don't smother. Good luck and relax and enjoy the time you DO get with her!!!
    WordWrangler likes this.
  8. Visit  WantToBeMidwife profile page
    0
    The fact that you are asking for advice says a lot.  Give her time and space to rest, and let her know you'll be there when she has the energy to spend time together.  Let her feel supported, but don't smother.  Good luck and relax and enjoy the time you DO get with her!!!
  9. Visit  ndavis1672 profile page
    0
    I think you do care, but you don't really understand how demanding it is unless you have been there. It's hard to.find a balance of things. I have a husband, 5 kids and go to school full time. I have had to sacrifice my time with them and.vice versa, but I do it to make a career for myself and a better life for my family. They understand and like me can see the bigger picture. My husband has stepped up to take care of almost everything I used to do because he knows how.important it is to ME. Maybe you need to.show her you do understand. It sounds like there might be a little insecurity there, like if she isn't spend enough time with you she might find someone else, believe me she doesn't have time for that either. If you keep pouting or complaining about "not enough time" she'll stop making time for you, she is trying to make a future for herself be the man, support her and understand even when you don't, she needs it.
  10. Visit  Spidey's mom profile page
    1
    I think life is full of stress and I'm not sure there is anything unique about studying to be a nurse vs. studying something else.

    But I also think both sides could do more FOR each other than TO each other. Is there a way you could help her out? Show up at her place and do a chore? Make her dinner? Mow her lawn? Get her a glass of wine (my dh is doing that as I type).

    And she could think of things to do FOR you as well.

    Sometimes, that something could be some space.

    Truly, stewing about things just make it more stressful.
    CLoGreenEyes likes this.
  11. Visit  zoe92 profile page
    0
    My piece of advice is nursing school is not forever. If you guys can get through this (not being able to spend as much time together) than you will have a stronger relationship. Good luck. Its sweet you care this much.
  12. Visit  ffrraanncciiss profile page
    0
    Quote from GrnTea
    You guys sound very young and inexperienced in adult relationships compared to people in their thirties or older. This is how we learned, however, and now it's your turn. So here's my advice.

    Bring her flowers once a month or so --- nothing huge and expensive, just a rosebud or two and some greens, a few paperwhite narcissus bulbs in a bowl of marbles to sprout (ask the florist), some daffodils in the spring, and leave them in water on the kitchen table without comment.

    After that, there's my very favorite Dave Barry quotation: " 'Shut up,' he explained."
    That is something I actually do from time to time. I recently made her a bouquet of origami flowers. Also, I love her earrings. Personally, I like dangling earrings more than studs, but she doesn't like them.

    Anyways, for anyone that cares, we worked it out. I think the reason she reacted negatively was because she was frustrated. Fair enough. I was very ignorant about that possibility.

    I do offer my help. I've let her know I can do some med cards for her, whatever. Just a few hours ago, I sat by her while she did an online quiz. I do try my best. It's really ****** that we had to go through that.

    Anywho, I just wanted to say thanks and I admire the crap out of you guys. I light up whenever I run into nursing students in my own school ever since I met her. I did not know this program demanded so much. Props.
  13. Visit  Bortaz, RN profile page
    2
    Quote from SoonToBeRN2013
    Wow poor guy asked for help and everyone downgrades him! I think that you just want to feel like you still mean something to her! Nursing school is hard believe me - I'm two semesters away from graduating! I have four children and a husband and still find time to spend with them! Give her some space! It is frustrating in nursing school! Just do the best you can by standing behind her and supporting her to get through this! Show her that you are her biggest fan! Love her!
    He stated in another thread that she's already failed a semester. In most schools, that's the final chance she'll get. Now he's pulling this emotional sabotage on her. I will not be surprised when she fails out.
    PurplePRN and loriangel14 like this.

Need Help Searching For Someone's Comment? Enter your keywords in the box below and we will display any comment that matches your keywords.



Nursing Jobs in every specialty and state. Visit today and find your dream job.

A Big Thank You To Our Sponsors
Top
close
close