Quitting nursing school? - Not really.. just a rant - page 2

I'm just really having a rough time this semester, and needed to rant somewhere. Figured who else could understand better than other nursing students, right? :) I've been on the verge of... Read More

  1. by   TLC RN
    I forgot...you gotta learn to say no. It is so hard but it helps so much. I figure all the people I say no to now are going to so many yeses after i finish school it is not funny. I only have time for myself, my son, school & work. I have to say no a lot.

    I have one friend that babysits so much for me, I am scared for her to have a kid of her own. I will owe her at least 365 days of babysitting.

    Once school is over, you can give more of time to everyone.
  2. by   kirbi
    Yeah, I bet you probably are a little burnt out. That alone is enough to do it, but hey think of it as the investment you've made and how it is ALMOST DONE comparatively speaking. You only have one more year to go! It's like being at mile 21 of a marathon, you know. You WILL get your second wind, have faith!

    Reading your original post reminded me of the many times in my life when I have felt overwhelmed and more than a little discouraged and it seemed like everything in life was conspiring to make it all the more difficult on me. To make matters worse, I couldn't seem to stop thinking about all the negativity. Negativity does that. It picks on you when you're down.

    I used to call my grandmother before she died whenever I had these kinda moments and she always cheered me up. She used to send me a little poem after we talked and no kidding, I have about 30 copies of this poem now. I'll post it at the bottem here. The most important piece of advice she ever gave me, though, was this.

    REMEMBER: This, too, shall pass.
    kirbi

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *
    Don't Quit
    [font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest, if you must, but don't quit.

    [font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Life is queer with its twists and turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about When he might have won had he stuck it out; Don't give up though the pace seems slow, You may succeed with another blow.

    [font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Success is failure turned inside out---The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you never can tell just how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit---It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.--Anonymous
  3. by   RedSox33RN
    (((Manna)))

    I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now. If at all possible, sit down w/hubby and go over your schedule and his, and come up with a plan. If he knows you're going to be home at xxx time, BUT have to study for xxx hours, then maybe he'll be able to help you out better and understand what you are doing with your time.

    I know that I had to take a leave until next Januray - for the nursing classes. I hadn't finished all of my sciences, and I too have a hellish commute. I started doing Med/Surg and A&P2 this semester, commuting 5x a week for up to 3 hours per day in my car, then trying to study and take care of 4 kids (who are older than yours, mostly self-sufficient, but still need rides and have school projects and stuff) plus going through a separation - and it alllllll came to a rest on my shoulders and I just couldn't do it. I knew it the first week. So my school was great about it, and is letting me finish my other courses, and I have a spot in Jan '06. A year "behind", but a much easier schedule.

    Sometimes venting will work, and other times we do need a break. Don't at ALL feel badly if you can't do it all right now. Your health is more important than finishing school right now. Your husband CAN help out. I really detest when it's called "babysitting" for the father, because it's not "babysitting" for the mom - it's called parenting. I know it's been stressful for you having him so far away for his job, and probably now waiting for this one to come through, but talk it through. That's one of the reasons my marriage went down the tubes - absolutely no communication (nope, yelling doesn't qualify in my book! LOL) on both our parts.

    Lots of hugs for you. Get some rest this weekend if you can. Come up with a "plan of attack". We're thinking of you!!!!
  4. by   TexasTac
    Part of my tuition at the school I attend is for health insurance, it's mandatory that we have health insurance while we attend school. We have a clinic that we can go to for our health checkups, shots, etc... Maybe your school has something similiar?

    Hang in there!


    Quote from manna
    Thanks for the support, guys.

    Yes, my son gets spanked at school - it's a private school, and that's part of their punishment. They get their name on the board with three check-marks first, and each check usually comes with multiple warnings to behave. I'm worried though, that he's not deliberately disobeying but is just perhaps overly forgetful. I definately need to have a conference with his teachers.

    My husband has been given a job by a company, but we're waiting on the slot to open up. Thought it would have happened by now, but this is a small town and jobs are hard enough to come by as it is ... I get really frustrated with him because he will clean house, but he expects me to spend as much time as him when I'm home - it just doesn't occur to him the massive amounts of paperwork, studying that I have to make time for as well.

    I don't think that I would qualify for state assisted insurance programs (since I'm not disabled, elderly, or pregnant), although my kids probably would.

    It actually took me 6 years to do all my pre-reqs because I was working full-time and doing class at night and online. So this is my 7th year of college... maybe I'm just getting a little burned out.

    I found campus housing today for about the same cost as I pay for gas, but I don't think it's going to be a doable move for us (husband's job is here, and lots of family members). It would really free up some time in my schedule to get rid of that commute, though.

    I think I'm one of those people that has a problem saying "no." I want to help when I can, and I feel a little bit guilty if I don't say "yes" when asked to do something for someone else. I can very easily see how this is contributing to my problem, but it's just a hard mental block to get over, it seems.

    Thanks so much, guys - really! You helped put it all in perspective for me. Now just hoping that what I've missed so far this semester doesn't put me too far behind...
  5. by   RNSuzq1
    Manna, Good Grief Girl, I was feeling totally overwhelmed with what I have on my shoulders with school and family, etc., but seems like you have the weight of the world on you right now.

    What really bothered me about your post was the fact that your child is "spanked" at school - I thought that went out years ago. This is just my opinion as a Mother - do not ever allow anyone to hit your child in any way shape or form. We have 3 Sons and I found out you can get more accomplished by talking to them than raising a hand to them. When you "hit", you are teaching them that, that is an acceptable way to deal with things (and it's not)....

    Our oldest Son just turned 20 and honestly - the only time I got physical with him was when he ran into a street when he was 4 years old - my first reaction was to swat him on the butt and tell him to NEVER do that again. Our middle son tries my patience daily, I popped his behind a few times out of frustration, but that did no good. He loves computer games, so when he's done something wrong, the computer if off limits and honestly - that hurts him 1,000 times more than if we spanked his behind all day....

    Please don't give others the right to take a hand to your child - they don't love him the way you do and things could get out of hand....
  6. by   Altra
    Manna, you've gotten some great suggestions here ... I don't have anything else original to add, just <hugs>.

    But I agree that if hubby's home full-time for now ... then he needs to be taking care of the house & the kids.

    Hang in there, hon. And my condolences about your grandfather.
  7. by   crb613
    Quote from manna
    Thanks for the support, guys.

    Yes, my son gets spanked at school - it's a private school, and that's part of their punishment. They get their name on the board with three check-marks first, and each check usually comes with multiple warnings to behave. I'm worried though, that he's not deliberately disobeying but is just perhaps overly forgetful. I definately need to have a conference with his teachers.

    My husband has been given a job by a company, but we're waiting on the slot to open up. Thought it would have happened by now, but this is a small town and jobs are hard enough to come by as it is ... I get really frustrated with him because he will clean house, but he expects me to spend as much time as him when I'm home - it just doesn't occur to him the massive amounts of paperwork, studying that I have to make time for as well.

    I don't think that I would qualify for state assisted insurance programs (since I'm not disabled, elderly, or pregnant), although my kids probably would.

    It actually took me 6 years to do all my pre-reqs because I was working full-time and doing class at night and online. So this is my 7th year of college... maybe I'm just getting a little burned out.

    I found campus housing today for about the same cost as I pay for gas, but I don't think it's going to be a doable move for us (husband's job is here, and lots of family members). It would really free up some time in my schedule to get rid of that commute, though.

    I think I'm one of those people that has a problem saying "no." I want to help when I can, and I feel a little bit guilty if I don't say "yes" when asked to do something for someone else. I can very easily see how this is contributing to my problem, but it's just a hard mental block to get over, it seems.

    Thanks so much, guys - really! You helped put it all in perspective for me. Now just hoping that what I've missed so far this semester doesn't put me too far behind...
    Ok you have found housing that will free up some time & relieve some stress sounds like a good move to me. You are the one overwhelmed so what would be the problem for hubby to commute??? This would give you some time with your children & sounds like they need it. If your child has not had problems in the past at school........ maybe he is feeling lost in the shuffle?? I am not trying to be judgmental just to point out the obvious. I guess what I'm trying to say is it is time for the me/children first attitude & hubby I need you to help.You have accomplished so much!! I wish you continued success good luck.
  8. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    Quote from RNinMay2005
    Your son gets spanked at school???? i didn't know that happened anywhere anymore.... ok, off topic

    They need to bring it back!!! The kids act up because they get away with it!

    BACK TO TOPIC:

    Sorry for all the crud your dealing with, whatever you face, DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!
  9. by   SarasotaRN2b
    Manna, I think that Whitney had a good suggestion, maybe right now you should try to take a break, even if it is just for a semester. It doesn't mean you are giving up but just taking a breath.

    Best of luck!
    Kris
  10. by   DenaInWyo
    [QUOTE=Fun2Care]They need to bring it back!!! The kids act up because they get away with it!


    Each to his own opinion, so please don't take this the wrong way, but..

    There are other forms of punishment besides hitting that prevent kids from "getting away with" bad behavior. I can tell you right now, being an evilly creative parent, my boys would ten times rather have a spanking and get it over with than carry out things like writing 500 sentences a day for two weeks.

    I can't ever remember any of the reasons for being spanked as a kid, but some of my mother's more inventive "punishment to fit the crime" interventions stick in my head to this day.

    It's not a matter of hitting being more or less effective..it's a matter of kids having consequences that are followed through on consistently. The parents fail to do that are the ones who have problems, and it doesn't matter if they unbuckle their belts or sit Junior on the time out chair.

    I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread...sorry for the highjack.

    Manna-

    I wish I had more words of wisdom to add to all the suggestions here, but it's pretty much already all been said. So..I'll just add that I'll be thinking of you and hoping that it works out okay. Lord knows nursing school is hard enough without having the rest of the world come bouncing down on your head. Hang in there!

    Deana
  11. by   michelle95
    I think Manna has the right to decide whether her kids should be spanked by someone else or not. This lady came to us for some venting not to start a debate. Please remember that.

    Girl, you sound like me. Just last week, walking into clinicals...I was asking myself why the hell I am doing this. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are rough for me...lecture on tues from 8-12, then clinical from 2-8...stay up until 3 doing paperwork then it's back to lecture at 9 on wed until 12 then back to clinical from 2-8.

    Add in that I work just about full time since 2 nurses have quit at my job (I'm an LPN) and...

    Add in that my 5 year old son is possibly bipolar and keeps getting cysts on his neck. We go see some kind of doctor at least once a week if not twice. Now, we are looking at another surgery in March. Also, trying to get him into the school system so we go see them for various evaluations.

    I don't know how I do it...I don't know why...I just know that if I am going through all of this crap that I have to keep going. Otherwise it's all for nothing.

    So, keep your chin up...others ARE in the same boat. And, you know it will be all worth it in the end.

    Am I crazy? No yet...but I'm getting there. I really think I might have a mental breakdown before graduation in August...but, I hope not.
  12. by   sabRN2b05
    Hey girl!

    I'm from Mississippi, too (Gulf Coast). I am on something called "Family Planning Medicaid" - it pays for pap smears, follow-ups, and birth control. Call your local health dept. and find out how to apply for it. I did not even know it existed (a lot of people don't). When I left my former job this past summer, I lost my benefits. Of course, this change happened right about the time that I had an abnormal pap smear myself . When I called the health dept. in my county to explain the situation and make an appt. for a pap smear, they told me about it. It takes a couple of months to get approved, but in the mean time, you should be able to get a pap smear at your local health dept. for little or NO $$ while you're waiting to get approved. The Medicaid office in Jackson told me that the only place that took that Medicaid was the health dept, but then I found out that a couple of local OB/GYN's took it, too. Again, it only pays for pap smears and birth control...nothing else. I had to pay $23 ($3.00 copay and $20 "lab" fee). And even if you don't need the birth control, just take it from them anyway (they usually have about 3 different kinds that they give that are free or they can write you a Rx for whatever kind you might be on, but you have to pay cash for that when you get the Rx filled.)

    As far as insurance for your kids, we can't afford insurance thru my husband's job, so I applied for CHIPS (and got approved!) for my kids. If you want more info, send me a private message. I also applied for free meals for my kids at school and got that, too!! I only work one day a week and we're living off my husband's income, student loans, scholarships, etc. Have you gotten any financial aid??

    You'd be surprised at the state assistance you can get when you have to go looking for it. Go apply for food stamps...don't be too proud. You are going to school to better yourself...not sitting at home just drawing welfare!! Let the government help you as much as you can!!
    Last edit by sabRN2b05 on Feb 19, '05
  13. by   sabrn2006
    I just want to send my support from afar. You have more stressors than most. Try to give yourself credit for all that you have accomplished.

    A few suggestions, for whatever they are worth....

    Like others have mentioned, get your husband to help out more (or give him the boot!) I know how that part is, as my dh is currently unemployed. He is now doing the majority of cooking, cleaning, & laundry.

    Your son sounds like he is seeking attention from you. Kids usually act out when things are nutsy at home. How old is he? Also, be sure there is not an underlying physiological problem. I had to fight to have my son tested and found out he does have ADHD - inattentive type. He is very forgetful and always in his own world. PM me if you want more info on that aspect of this. I have a little insight into this from both a personal and professional perspective.

    I also believe you need to set some boundaries for yourself. Tell everyone outside your little immediate family circle that you are simply unavailable at this time. If you need to prove this to yourself, write out your weekly time commitments and see just how little space there is for ANYthing else. I actually post my schedule in my kitchen for the family to know where I am at a given time (work, class, clinicals, lab). I am continually amazed at all that I am doing. You will be too.

    Keep your chin up. You will look back on this time as crazy but worth it. (That's what the RNs I know keep saying to me. I'm starting to believe it)

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