Quit nursing school due to head games.

  1. As some of you know, I had a strange clinical instructor the semester. If you don't know my situation, see post in the general discussion area from 1-18-03. Yesterday, I met with the instructor to clear up some things with her. She said I was unstable and needed help. I told her I was dropping and she said I couldn't drop out without an exit interview. I said that I would n't comply and went to the nursing program secretary and dropped out of school. The secretary said an exit interview wasn't necessary. This instructor was so controlling that she actually wanted to control my dropping out.
    I am a normal mother of two with a 18 year fabulous work history in medical and biological research and a B.S. in Biology. I have never had an psych problems. How could a nursing instructor make these judgements after only knowing me for 5 days?
    If this is nursing, you can count me out.
    To all of you who have helped me through my prerequistes, I thank you. Good luck and I wish you all well. Thanks especially to JulieLPN, Mario, and Dr. Kate.

    This is Bio never to be an RN signing off.
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  2. 52 Comments

  3. by   delirium
    I'm sorry you had such a lousy experience, Bio. I was close to quitting nursing school last semester but it was nothing close to the situation you're describing.

    As an aside, perhaps you should look at the reasons you had for wanting to become an RN in the first place, and maybe look into a different school or any other options you have. I wouldn't want to see you let one controlling, mean-spirited instructor stop you from achieving your goals.

    Good luck in whatever you do.

  4. by   MrsK1223
    What was the nursing school? It sounds like the one instructor I had.....mine was EKU..fine school.....nutty teacher.
  5. by   Stargazer
    Bio, some nursing programs, and some instructors, just suck. I don't know why, I just know that they do. After 5 quarters of pre-reqs and just 1 hideous quarter of actual nursing school with a psycho instructor, I quit, went home for the summer, decided it wasn't nursing or even nursing school I hated as much as it was that I hated that particular school, and spent the next 3 months doing the paperwork to transfer to another school nearby.

    Best decision I ever made. My new school had never before accepted/placed a transfer student into the middle of their program without making him/her start from scratch, and I was going from a quarter program to a semester program, but they were very kind and flexible, which turned out to be a good omen.

    I did a lot of paperwork, sent them my syllabi from the old school, challenged a couple of missing elements from the courses I was trying to get credit for, and started school in the fall. Uniformly nurturing environment at the new school. I was so glad I hadn't given up.

    Give yourself a few weeks to get over the hurt, anger and frustration, and then please start researching other schools in your area. Nursing needs folks like you, and I PROMISE you there are better instructors and better programs out there. Feel free to PM me if you need to vent or have any questions.
  6. by   nurse626
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    Last edit by nurse626 on May 8, '03
  7. by   MICU RN
    Sometimes I wish I would have had the guts to quit; if you really feel that strongly about it I say follow your gut. We put up with plenty of unnecessary abuse, both in nursing school and out. I would not go through it again. Please tell me why we are treated, as nursing students, worse than the medical students when they are in the clinical area. I observe how they are treated all the time and they are not put on pins and needles like the nursing students. It is really sad, especially when you realize that the doctors carry most of the liability. Why does nursing training have to be like this?????????? The profession needs a face lift and it needs to start in nursing school.
  8. by   sjoe
    "If this is nursing, you can count me out. "

    Well, it is one more instance of a little mind with too much power. That occurs in all areas of human endeavor, unfortunately.

    A couple books you might want to read:

    Weiner, David, Power Freaks: Dealing with Them in the Workplace or Anyplace, and

    Simmons, Rachel, Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls.
  9. by   Tim-GNP
    BioRN:

    This strikes a nerve inside of me. I was once told back in the very beginning of my nurses 'training' by a clinical instructor: "I don't like the idea of men in nursing, and men don't become nurses if I have anything to say about it." That Bi*ch has since been relieved of her teaching responsibility and works 11-7 as a staff nurse. Ironically enough, I had the opportunity to be her supervisor a few years ago!

    LEGALLY, if you have been harassed by your instructor, you have a great deal of legal recourse. First of all, be sure to write out EACH AND EVERY exchange you have had with this instructor. It helps if you have notes when you go to file complaints with the school

    Next step, take your concerns-verbally and in writing to the chair of the department. If you get no where there, go directly to the academic dean... you DO NOT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HARASSMENT!

    Legally, you have a great of recourse. Since she stated to you that she felt you were 'unstable,' you may have a good slander case against her. If she wrote that or any other derogatory remarks about you [i.e., on clinical evaluation documents, etc.], it becomes 'libel.' Unless of course, she holds a current license to practice psychology and is legally permitted to making such diagnoses [which I suspect she isn't].

    I would raise such hell, that they would want to graduate you as soon as possible! I would not drop out of school. Be sure to tell the dean or program director that you have had to seek medical intervention due to the 'anxiety' that this instructor created. Drop the legal buzz words that would make them think you sought out legal council. Be sure to tell them things such as the instructors 'malicious intent,' 'descriminatory attitude, perhaps based in your age as a student,' as well as the 'hostile and intimidating environment' that the instructor has created and the 'current and future economic hardship that this instructor is creating,' etc. After they have excused themselves to the bathroom, things may go your way.

    You have the same right as anyone else to an education, and this right should not be infringed upon by a goof who has a personality clash with you. There have been students I liked more than others, but they would never know it. EVERYONE deserves a chance at an education, especially an education as special as nursing.

    Good luck, and go kick tail!!!
  10. by   jude11142
    I am saddened to hear that you decided to get out school. Believe me, I understand all too well how certain instructors can make you feel that way. I was 8 weeks shy of graduating(LPN program) and I had a problem with one of the instructors. You may not believe this but it was because I befriended another classmate that was having problems with this instructor. In the 14 months that I was in school, I always got along with everyone, scored well on exams, did well at clinical etc........to make a long story short, the student and this instructor had never saw eye to eye.........I was in clinical with this individual for 3 rotations and I saw nothing wrong and no reason for this student to be blackballed(really)by this instructor than the others. I went to bat for her and ever since then, I had many problems. There was no way that I was going to let this monster make me drop out.......I ended up going to the administrator and reporting her which resulted in her refusing to have me in her clinical group......fine with me, but then I was told that the other groups were full, so I got to go with the school nurse, to dialysis for the remaining 2 weeks of that rotation. Then came the last rotation, and this instructor who I respected and again never had any problems with, called me aside on the first day and informed me that she spoke with the other instructor and felt that maybe I should reconsider nursing, she went as far as to suggest that maybe I should come back next yr.........What??? 8 weeks away from graduation??? I was one of the oldest in our class at the age of 40, and I was determined to finish. I have been in the medical field for over 20 yrs, 10 of which I was a scrub tech and my dream was to be a nurse. I swear this is all because of me "hanging out with another student who they obviousely didn't like"............My classmates saw that something was wrong and were like, "what is going on"..........I even had several go to the adminstrator and tell them that I was being verbally attacked etc........I know that some may say that I should of stayed away from this classmate with the problems, but there was no way that at the age of 40, I was going to be forced to not bother with somebody. My choice and my right.........Now fastforward, I am an LPN, going for RN right now........I look back on this experience and I'm sad to say this but I have learned to listen and believe students when they say, "the teacher hates me, or teacher picks on me all the time"........thank God, my kids are out of school(well daughter graduates this june).......as when they were younger and sometimes would say that their teacher didn't like them, and I would say, Ofcourse they do and incase they don't, they still have to teach you and be fair..........bull!!!!!!!!!!! So, parents out there, believe in your children if they complain, because if adults can be treated like this, imagine how innocent kids are being treated.............
    as you can see this is still a touchy subject for me, lol, and I know that I'm starting to ramble........sorry........bottom line is that I was cut out to become a nurse and I am a damn good one......I am so glad that I didn't leave even though those last weeks I would be in tears often and have stomach aches just thinking about going to clinical........
    Let me stop ranting, lollllllllllll

    JUDE
  11. by   P_RN
    After nearly 40 years I can still feel the pain. One instructor took me as her project....she didn't like my hair, my hips, my handwriting!! I printed everything....I guess I was in a phase then.....I couldn't sit down. walk, speak without harsh dominating words from her.

    I'd already dropped out of a diploma school for personal reasons. I actually think they were sad to see me go.
    THEN there came a series of 'fluff" courses I took while hubby was in the Army.....by the time I got home I had enough hours to get a BA.....go figure.

    Well 11 years later my friend called me and said they are accepting more students at USC....let's see about it.
    So.......ripe old age of 30 I showed up for orientation

    In '63...no trousers, no shorts unless you covered up with a long raincoat. Shoes not sandals. No jeans. (for the guys) Hair just so, uniform just so low, no earrings, no lipstick........

    In 1973 I got the bug again to finally finish and showed up in a dress and loafers......Lawsey me...... Ummmm the dress code had changed indeed. The age of aquarius had arrived and I had been left outside. Teachers in shorts, sandals, bare legged, long straight hair, dangling earrings......It took me about a week but by then I had my hip huggers, belly shirt, long hair parted down the center and CLOGS! You could do a whole semester on just one or two outfits. Oh and I forgot the granny glasses. Oh and I weighed just under 90#

    Now pull on up to summer sessions.....there was that hip hating instructor.....her name, hair and makeup had changed...but I knew it was her!!! Her last name had changed, so had mine.

    She turned out to be the one of the BEST 3 instructors I ever knew. SO about a week before graduation I went to her and asked if she remembered me......she looked and said you had a sister or cousin in here about 10 years or so???? Nope...that's me.......
    It was like finding gold....she had reorganized her priorities.....I had grown up a little and developed some gumption.

    BTW I finished with a 4.0, Deans List, Presidents List........with my friends and family there in the Coliseum. And my little boy telling everyone in sight......there's my MAMA she's a Nurse!!!

    SO bottom line is I guess........Illegitimi non carborundumdon't let the bas****s wear you out. Circle the wagons and look for another school or a distance school like excelsior or another.......Things that go around, come around.......and hopefully bite her in the backside.

    That instructor probably lost one of the best nurses who could have been graduated....and I'd surely remind her when you drop by to show everyone your NCLEX scores and your Magna Cum Laude.
  12. by   JenKatt
    BIORN,
    You could have been me back in 97. I had a adjunct professor teach my first clinical rotation, community health, nursing home stuff. She was a psych NP and wanrted to help all of us. She almost ran me out of this profession. She told me I had problems. I had no business being a nurse. I didn't belong. etc etc etc. Sound familiar? Under no circumstances was I going out like that. I went to the Dean of Student Affairs and threw one hell of a fit. I wasn't going to allow another student, someone who didn't have the resolve I did, to be forced out by someone who had no business being a nursing instructor.
    If you want out of nursing, fine, that's your call. But don't let it be because of some witch who gets all her pleasure out of torturing another human being. You're better than that. You derserve better. At least don't leave without putting in writing why you left and sending it to the school. At least if she does this to another student, that student has a leg to stand on.

    Sorry you went thru this
  13. by   caliotter3
    Same story, different details. My late hubby used to try to keep me going w/this motto: "They can kill you, but they can't eat you alive." He was a PTSD Viet Nam vet who died early but wasn't eaten alive. Please attempt to find a better program. Those of us who are dead yet, need ya. Sorry, meant to say aren't dead yet, but not much difference is there? They're nibbling at me as I write!
  14. by   caliotter3
    You know it occurred to me how often people who have no business with the title RN themselves end up in nursing education programs. I once thanked one of these for taking herself away from patients.

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