Problems with constructive criticism

[nursecandace737]

My name is candace and I am in my last couple months of nursing school. In the past few years I have had a few clinical placements where I have done exceptionally well in (85%) , and some where I do not so well (65%). I have never done a med error or had an adverse event happen because of me, I am just trying to figure out - ok am I good enough for this or am I not? It seems like when I get criticism I take it really hard and lose all confidence in myself. I try and make excuses to make myself feel better but then I feel aweful for making excuses. Right now, my preceptor brought "concerns" about me to my faculty resource person and she is meeting with me in a few days to discuss. She says I am passing and am giving perfectly safe and accountable care but has ideas for me to work on to improve my mark. To me this sounds like "you aren't doing as good as you should be and you need to do better or else you're gonna fail if you don't show improvements". Does this happen to other students !? I feel like this happens to me often and am wondering if that's normal ? How can I do so well in some placements and do so poorly in others? Do you think it depends on the personality of the instructor? I have one now who reminds me of a drill Sargent. I am just so discouraged because I am almost done school and feel like I should be doing better at this point in my education. I terrified of entering the work force.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

I completely agree with GrnTea's response. I (& other ancients) are more likely to have grown up with the "you want something to cry about?" parenting model. We received critical feedback on a regular basis, from an astonishing number of sources. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to run smack into this for the first time when you are older... and in a much more high-stakes situation. I have worked with many brand new, very young nurses who dissolve into tears and lose all self-confidence when this happens.

Learning detachment is an important survival skill in any adult endeavor. This is the ability to adopt objectivity when you need it. This means deliberately pushing aside your emotional response (OMG, this patient is someone's mother and she is dying) for a logical & objective one (OK, this is v-tach, I need to shock now). It takes practice, but anyone can do it. Receiving critical feedback is one of those times - focus on the information you are receiving and deliberately step away from the emotional content. This is not a value judgement about you as a person. It is just about your performance and skill. Take the time to reflect on what is being said. Make sure you clearly understand. Ask questions - "So, if I had done X instead of Y, it would have been a more appropriate intervention?" Ask for help "I think I chose X because I am not as familiar with Y - can you recommend a way for me to improve in this area?"

In the meantime, just bite your tongue if you find yourself making any excuses for inadequate performance. Erase "But" from your vocabulary. Take deep breaths and be very conscious of your body language and facial expressions. YOU CAN DO THIS!