Please help me understand scheduling/convincing Hubby!?!?!?

  1. I posted this in another forum, but felt it was better suited here...hope you all don't mind!

    Hi all-
    I'm new....I desperately want to become a nurse (eventually would like L&D). I just went back to work full time as an Office Manager M-F 8:30-4:30. DH also works full time during the day/week. We have a 19 month old daughter. My dilemmas are: would I still be able to work and go to nursing school...from what I hear, i won't be able to work full time once clinicals start....(how do clinicals normally run as far as length of time, hrs per week etc?) We're finally at a point where we don't have to scrimp by every check and hubby doesn't (and neither do i) want to go back to that.
    Also hubby is worried as far as having to take over a lot of responsibilities at the house and with our daughter. I know there is a serious commitment to go to nursing school, but my hubby is not being too supportive due to the issues listed above. Can anyone offer any advice for me, please?!

    Thanks so much!
    Brie
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  2. 18 Comments

  3. by   llg
    Each school schedules its classes differently ... so, there is no set standard for how a school schedule will go.

    My suggestion is to contact the schools in your local area and gather information about each one. You can start by getting whatever information they have posted online and then start digging deeper from there. Go to an information session if they have them ... make an appointment with someone if that's a possibility ... etc. Find out what courses they require, in what sequence, etc. Find out what type of scheduling those courses have, the school's admissions requirements and procedures, etc. Also look at the costs and consider how you would pay for your schooling (student loans, scholarships, cash out of pocket, etc.)

    Also gather information on nursing careers -- the types of jobs available for new graduates and for nurses with experience. Get a sense of what to expect as far as job opportunities, pay rates, scheduling, etc. in your area of the country.

    Make a folder for each school and gather all the information you can. Then sit down and review it all with your husband and make a decision about which, if any, of those programs is right for you at this time in your life.

    Good luck to you.
  4. by   AveryMadisonsMommy
    Thanks so much for responding. I plan on going the community college route for my associates at first, so as far as the cost of school, it's not too terribly expensive and I feel we could pay for it out of pocket especially if there is a way to continue working full time while in school. I am more concerned about when it's time for clinicals etc. whether I would be able to keep that up. I think if I come up with a solution and show to my hubby he will be a lot better with the situation.
  5. by   txspadequeenRN
    why are men so selfish? i feel for you honey. i used part of my financial aid money for daycare. you may be able to do that in order to get through. me personally , i don't care what my husband thinks i do what i want. but thats me. if you want to be a nurse there is a way.....if you need to talk i'm here. i married to a horses behind tooo...:spin:

    Quote from averymadisonsmommy
    i posted this in another forum, but felt it was better suited here...hope you all don't mind!

    hi all-
    i'm new....i desperately want to become a nurse (eventually would like l&d). i just went back to work full time as an office manager m-f 8:30-4:30. dh also works full time during the day/week. we have a 19 month old daughter. my dilemmas are: would i still be able to work and go to nursing school...from what i hear, i won't be able to work full time once clinicals start....(how do clinicals normally run as far as length of time, hrs per week etc?) we're finally at a point where we don't have to scrimp by every check and hubby doesn't (and neither do i) want to go back to that.
    also hubby is worried as far as having to take over a lot of responsibilities at the house and with our daughter. i know there is a serious commitment to go to nursing school, but my hubby is not being too supportive due to the issues listed above. can anyone offer any advice for me, please?!

    thanks so much!
    brie
  6. by   Kiringat
    Non-nursing students seem to think that we spend our time sitting around eating bon-bons and chocolate all day, and those are the people who actually know nursing school exists.
    So you have to gather boat loads of evidence, like class schedules and course requirements, to convince them otherwise. I had to draw diagrams for my parents to explain why I couldn't work full time once school started.
    We have lecture one day of the week, and 12 hour clinicals the next two days. With classes and clinicals, I've still been able to work between 20-30 hours a week, and earn good grades. Although sleep is kind of a thing of the past... It sorta depends on how flexible your employer is willing to be (WHAT! You're changing your availability AGAIN?!?!?!?!), and your study habits/level of comfort with the material/stress tolerance/family stuff. Good luck, and I hope your discussion goes well!
  7. by   AveryMadisonsMommy
    Thanks so much for your responses! It means a lot. My husband is SO great about everything and that is why I am having the hardest time figuring out why this is such an issue.
    So, working full time is pretty much a no go?
    And as far as financial aid, I doubt we will qualify...somehow the government thinks we make too much money!? We don't have any debt other than our mortgage and one car payment (which is only 215/month). Then just regular ole day to day bills!!!
    I know he wants me to be home and doesn't want to be broke...I want those same things, I just want to go to nursing school first!

    txspadequeen921- I do what I want too, but there are a few things I won't do without his blessing and one of those is quitting my job and leaving the burden of making all the money on him. I did leave my old job and stayed home for 4 months with my daughter and it was ROUGH. Not to mention I can't take her out of daycare again. She is thriving there...so I need to figure out how to go to school, keep her in daycare, and make enough money to not be completely and utterly broke. :spin::spin::spin::spin::spin::spin::spin::spin::s pin: Yeah, right..huh?

    Are there any scholarships that could possibly help me out? I don't even know where to begin looking....
    I REALLY appreciate everyones willingness to help me out!
  8. by   MB37
    Some schools, especially community colleges, offer night/weekend or part-time nursing programs. If you can find one of those, you may be able to continue to work full time. However, if you and the hubby already both work full time, shouldn't you be splitting the chores and childcare anyways? You will NOT be able to work full time, take care of everything around the house, spend time with your daughter, and go to nursing school.

    Most nursing programs are during weekdays. Mine is 8-4 Monday (classes, with a break in the middle), off Tues, Weds. clinical 630-2, Thurs class 8-2:230, and Friday off. I take an online research class too (BSN program) that's also offered Friday mornings in person. Fridays are also the only time we can come in and practice lab skills, so I'm usually on campus anyways. I could work weekends if I had to, but since we can get by on my loans and my husband's income, we decided it would be better for me to concentrate on school and get better grades. Plus then we actually have time to do things as a couple here and there on weekends. I worked part-time first semester, and I was busy about 25 hours a day. We don't have any human children either, and none of th housework got done. If you work, it'll have to be for an understanding employer. You might want to look into some type of a job at a local hospital - many are willing to be flexible with nursing students' schedules (in the hopes that you'll work there after you graduate), or will even pay for all or part of your schooling for an employment commitment after graduation.

    Also, fill out your FAFSA. You don't have to accept everything they offer, but you should find out if you're eligible for any grants. There's nothing wrong with taking on a little bit of debt for an education - most of us will have some when we graduate. I already have a bachelor's degree so I wasn't eligible for grants, and we make "too much money" to be considered in much financial need, but I was still able to take out government backed loans that paid all my tuition and all my books with about $400/month left over. We used the leftover money to pay off high-interest credit card debt, and will do the same next semester to get rid of the rest of it.

    You need to really sit down and talk with your husband. If you plan to work at all during school, he'll have to shoulder more of the load. Either by pitching in (a lot) around the house, dropping his standards severely when it comes to a clean house and clean laundry, or picking up extra hours/second job to help pay for a maid, takeout, and additional child care. People on this board are able to work full time, go to school full time, and raise kids, but you need a supportive spouse/friends/family to pull it off. Good luck with everything, and if your husband is worth sticking with, he'll come around.
  9. by   intuition
    I work 24-30 hours a week, and have 2 kids. A 2 1/2 yr. old and 8 month old. We couldn't afford to have my daughter in daycare anymore and it killed me to take her out, but I knew I would have to sacrifice if I wanted this degree. Sleep, is the thing I sacrifice, I use my kids sleeping time to study. Yes, your husband is going to have to take on extra responsibility around the house. I told my husband that even before I started school. He may have to make dinner or transport her to and from the babysitter/daycare. I explained that there has to be some sacrifice if we want to make more money in the end. I do really miss seeing my kids, but they are young enough where they won't remember. I do hate that I miss out on some of the "firsts".
  10. by   Daytonite
    Quote from AveryMadisonsMommy
    Also hubby is worried as far as having to take over a lot of responsibilities at the house and with our daughter. I know there is a serious commitment to go to nursing school, but my hubby is not being too supportive due to the issues listed above. Can anyone offer any advice for me, please?
    Are you kidding? Is he serious? You picked him. I'd dump him. He's a dinosaur reminiscent of an old age long left behind.
  11. by   AveryMadisonsMommy
    Thanks for your replies. My husband is a GREAT help around the house now. His concern is taking on MORE...which would basically be everything. He helps with everything right now (except laundry...I told him not to touch it after he shrunk a sweater! ).
    I drop off DD at daycare everyday and he usually picks her up unless he's running late or he will go home and pick up the house etc. He does dinner a lot, does all the yard/outside work and helps about 40% with the house stuff....I'm telling ya, he's great...that's why I'm not sure what's holding him back about this. He ended up having to shoulder pretty much all of the household stuff when I worked part time in the evenings and he works a physically demanding job so it wore on him quick. Between feeding, bathing, putting DD to bed and picking up the house, etc....He doesn't want to go back down that road. and i understand that.
    Ok...sorry for rambling.
  12. by   Gothique
    As far as financial aid goes I would call and talk to some of the hospitals in your area and see what they offer as far as tuition reimbursement or if they offer any type of programs for nursing school.

    One of the nursing schools near me is through the local hospital. The cost is around $23,000 for two years, but if you sign a contract saying that after you graduate you'll work for them for 1 year they will pay $10,000 towards your tuition. If you sign on for 2 years they pay 100% of your loan. Obviously there are pros and cons to that, but it is something to think about. The same school also offers jobs to nursing students. It's 10 bucks an hour and you're pretty much a CNA, but you work whatever hours you want and whatever days you want. My friend just works for 4 hours on her days off and that's it. She's only obligated to work 8 hours a month if she wants to either.

    Another option would be to see if your area hospitals have any programs for current employees. My other friend wanted to be a nurse so she quit her job and became a CNA. After 1 year of being there she was eligible for a program where they would send her to nursing school for free if she wanted to go. She just graduated last year and said that it was a great opportunity for her.

    So call around and ask about anything and everything. The worst that they are going to say is they don't offer that.
  13. by   squirtle
    I know that all schools are different as far as scheduling goes... but even if your actual class and clinical schedule allows you to work full time, you will have to find to study and a lot of it. To be honest, I don't know I could have possibly made things work if my hubby wasn't as excited about me pursuing a career in nursing as I was/am.
    I agree with the suggestion of researching the programs in your area and creating a folder to keep the info in. Then sit down with hubby and talk about the various schedules, cost, etc. You might be able to approach it to him that even if you have to go back to scrimping by, it is only during the time you are in the program and then things will be better. I can tell you from personal experience that it does get tough juggling everything but it is definitly doable.

    Oh and just for reference, my first term schedule was exams on Monday 3-5, classes on Tuesday 8-4, off Wednesday and Thursday (but we had to do additional practice hours in lab which were done on these days), clinicals on Friday from 7-3.
  14. by   krenee
    Well, I know you're probably going to do what you want to do, but since you asked for opinions . . . I'd wait on nursing school. I assume you're pretty young since you have a 1 year old. In my program they don't recommend you work more than 20 hours per week, and I am doing academically far better than those who are working, even part time. A 1 year old alone is practically a full time job, so that would be hard even without working. I stayed home with my kids and waited until my daughter was in first grade and I'm not sorry. I can still work for 20 years if I want to, and that seems long enough!

    Kelly

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