Paranoia or Valid Concern, I Don't Know... - Page 2

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  1. Aug 6, '12 by
    Quote from iluvpatho
    Wow I can totally relate. I am always scared and nervous about my kids. Last year was a toughy. My son just started school and was acting out, I think do to all the changes since he started school and had never been away from me and I had the most clinical days in my 3rd semester it was just crazy. I felt guilty for not being able to spend more time with him, his teacher was a b*^%ch so that didn't help. Life was so stressful. I just hope I can make it through my last 2 semesters. We shouldn't miss lecture but if you do, you do. Some teachers have you lose a few points some nothing. I try not to miss but clinicals you can't so that always scares me. My last resort would be to ahve my husband call in and stay home if one of the kids were sick. I don't know if thats possible or not for you. My husband never ever calls in so this would work for him. Either way, I wish you the best. I know people say oh everyone does it, my friend has 6 kids, one arm, one eye, she's single, and gets straight A's blah blah blah realistically its hard because to me I am always a mother and wife first, thats teh most important to me and always will be.
    Well, it's good to hear that you've made your way through the first year! Encouraging for me
    I guess it's entirely possible for my husband to stay home on clinical days. We need him to work as often as possible since he's our only source of income, but as long as my kids aren't getting sick every week he can take off. He actually works for my mom and stepdad, so I highly doubt he'd get fired for it
    I don't know why I didn't even think of him staying home...I guess we need to make sure we have a nice rainy day fund so him taking off a few days won't be a huge deal. Thanks
    GrnTea and iluvpatho like this.
  2. Aug 6, '12 by
    I agree with everyone. You should try it before giving up on going. I have 3 children, 2 are on the spectrum and would at times have frequent melt downs. One of my boys would have such severe ones that he has had to be hospitalized several times. I managed to stay in school, granted it was only pre reqs, but I am still there. Make sure you have someone that knows what to do incase he gets a fever or has seizures, someone you trust so that your mind will at least be a bit at ease. It is doable, God would not give you more than you could handle. Getting through this is just something to prepare you for life later down the road. Take it day by day, you will get there!
    Stephalump likes this.
  3. Aug 6, '12 by
    Quote from Stephalump
    Well, it's good to hear that you've made your way through the first year! Encouraging for me
    I guess it's entirely possible for my husband to stay home on clinical days. We need him to work as often as possible since he's our only source of income, but as long as my kids aren't getting sick every week he can take off. He actually works for my mom and stepdad, so I highly doubt he'd get fired for it
    I don't know why I didn't even think of him staying home...I guess we need to make sure we have a nice rainy day fund so him taking off a few days won't be a huge deal. Thanks
    Yes Im kind of in a similar situation since my husband is the only one that works too. It's scary and I haven't actually ahd to do it yet, I count my blessings but its a good option It's gonna be scary the whole way through unfortunately, its stressful. I can't believe my children, marriage, and I have made it this far either hahaha..It goes by so fast though!
  4. Aug 6, '12 by
    Quote from classicdame
    do the children have a father? If so, outline expectations and even write them down if needed. He sounds like he is waiting on you to take the lead, and maybe you have "trained" him that way. This is when he needs to cowboy up (sorry, Texas term). Do what has to be done as your education will benefit the ENTIRE family, not just you.
    I think he's just used to me being primary caretaker. Up until last October, he owned a trucking company and was gone 80% of the time, so he was in charge of nothing but work by default and I just had to figure everything else out. If I wanted to go to school, he couldn't really help in any other way than supplying the money, so I've had to take the lead when it comes to our lives.
    Now that he's home every night it's great, but it's definitely a struggle to adjust to the way a "normal" life works. Not only does he have to get used to taking the reins, but I have to learn to let them go.
    Last edit by Stephalump on Aug 6, '12
  5. Aug 6, '12 by
    Quote from Adri :)
    I can totally relate to this! My daughter has an immune system disfunction and has suffered life threatening pneumonia repeatedly as well as MANY other conditions and complications. Daycare is just not an option for her. She will be exposed to way too much and it's just too dangerous for her bc she can't fight it off. Our solution was for my husband to stay home with her. He's been home with her for 2 years now. I work full time and go to school full time (LVN to RN transition) It's rough at times, but we make it work. If something like that isn't an option for you, I'd suggest finding a private sitter that could stay with your child, maybe in your own home. Preferably, one trained in CPR. Is that an option? I hope you figure something out bc NS is such a huge opportunity but our babies come first! I know exactly how you feel. Good luck!!
    After thinkng about last night after my mini-mental breakdown, I think I'm going to look into the private nanny option. We were planning on using the subsidized childcare option from our workforce center to help us be able to afford everything and they don't pay for in home care, but I'm going to try to figure out if I can. I was going to have my four year old in care after half-day pre-k, but maybe if I cut that out I can pay someone to come to the house part time.

    Do y'all have your kids in chilcare full-time or just when you're in class? My intention was to have them in 5 days a week even though I'm only in class for 3 days so I can get as much school work done during the day as possible.

    Does it seem doabe to only have care during actual classes and then study nights and weekends?
  6. Aug 6, '12 by
    Quote from barbyann
    Mothering and NS is filled with guilt traps. I feel your internal struggle. Here are some points to consider:

    1. If you put off NS for a worse case scenario you are setting your self up for never going. There will always be a worst case scenario.
    2. Your job as mother is to make sure they are safe and cared for in your absence. Just as a nurse would do you come up with a plan for the caregiver to follow, rehearse the temp case scenario, get your MDs advice, and know you have done a good job.
    3. If you decide the guilt feelings are too strong then maybe just do some night classes of prereq., where you would only be gone from home a shorter period of time. But you would still be moving forward towards your goal.
    4. Maybe you can try one month of NS/daycare and see how it goes for all involved. You could then get the real "feel" and see if it is doable. Right now you are trying to make a decision without all the facts. You can drop NS and get at least partial refund (check first).
    I have absolutely no clue how to quote multiple posts in one response, so I guess I'll just reply 3 million times!
    Thank you very much for your thoughts...much appreciated. I think you're right - after the initial adjustment period, it might not be as bad as it seems right now. And if it is that bad, I have the freedom to take some time off. It's possible that I could transfer into a night/weekend program in my school system in the spring...I've just been trying to avoid it because that would basically leave me no time to study. But there are options.
    And I think I'll feel much better after we finalize our childcare and I can have a talk with them about the worst case scenario things. Like I said in a PP, I think I'm just used to shouldering all the weight of the kids, when the reality now is that my husband can bring his happy butt home if need be, and maybe it might be worth being more broke to hire someone to come to our house.

    Anyway, THANK YOU everyone. Allnurses may drive me crazy occassionally, but there's nothing like a bunch of nurses/student nurses laying it all out there for you when you need it
  7. Aug 6, '12 by
    It's very simple. Whose needs are paramount?
  8. Aug 6, '12 by
    Quote from Stephalump
    After thinkng about last night after my mini-mental breakdown, I think I'm going to look into the private nanny option. We were planning on using the subsidized childcare option from our workforce center to help us be able to afford everything and they don't pay for in home care, but I'm going to try to figure out if I can. I was going to have my four year old in care after half-day pre-k, but maybe if I cut that out I can pay someone to come to the house part time.

    Do y'all have your kids in chilcare full-time or just when you're in class? My intention was to have them in 5 days a week even though I'm only in class for 3 days so I can get as much school work done during the day as possible.

    Does it seem doabe to only have care during actual classes and then study nights and weekends?
    I only have my aunt (my babysitter) watch the kids when I'm in school and clinical. I sometimes have an extra hour here or there where I use it to do homework or time in between classes when I have 2 classes in one day. Anyhow, yes I survive with doing h/w after my kids go to sleep or while they play at the park or sometimes if I have finals or something my husband will take over as soon as he gets home and I head to teh library or coffee shop. Basically all my free time is used for h/w studying but honestly as you go through teh program you'll find that you ahve to study less and less.
  9. Aug 6, '12 by
    Quote from Stephalump

    After thinkng about last night after my mini-mental breakdown, I think I'm going to look into the private nanny option. We were planning on using the subsidized childcare option from our workforce center to help us be able to afford everything and they don't pay for in home care, but I'm going to try to figure out if I can. I was going to have my four year old in care after half-day pre-k, but maybe if I cut that out I can pay someone to come to the house part time.

    Do y'all have your kids in chilcare full-time or just when you're in class? My intention was to have them in 5 days a week even though I'm only in class for 3 days so I can get as much school work done during the day as possible.

    Does it seem doabe to only have care during actual classes and then study nights and weekends?
    My kids aren't in daycare at all since my husband stays home, but, I find it very do-able to do homework with three kids around all the time. You adjust, and u just do what you gotta do. It's hard sometimes, but most time, since I have 3 children, they occupy each other.
  10. Aug 7, '12 by
    Quote from imintrouble
    It's very simple. Whose needs are paramount?
    I'm guessing you don't have children.

    For what it's worth, I don't have children either. But to break down this issue into such black/white terms is simply insulting to working/student parents. I cannot imagine the guilt and stress that parents go through when trying to secure a better future for their family, and weighing the pros and cons of each situation. It isn't "very simple" at all.

    It's tough enough making sure that my husband and I schedule enough time together with me in school full-time and working extremely part-time, and him working all the time to support us. The last thing I want to do is sacrifice our relationship or put a strain on it because of my educational focus (we have an extremely healthy relationship with excellent communication, but I have heard from MANY sources that NS can be stressful to a marriage and I will do ANYTHING to make sure that doesn't happen). I can only guess at how much more stressful it would be if we had children in the equation.
    Last edit by WahineMakai on Aug 7, '12 : Reason: quoting mess-up :)