Quote from shannon8282
My only brother died one month ago from today. He was 22. I loved him dearly, and this was very unexpected. After the funeral, when I returned back to my classes, my fellow students acted as if they were scared to talk to me. .
So very sorry for your loss. I know exactly what you're talking about. I've had several major losses in my life - 28 year old brother died in an auto accident and just the last few years I lost both of my parents. Those closest to me were very supportive, but I guess people at work and neighbors just didn't know what to say. Like you said, it seemed like they were scared to talk to me.
Worst thing ever was when I had a miscarriage with our 2nd child. 3 of us at work were pregnant at the same time. I stayed out for a few days and you should have seen the looks on peoples faces when I went back to work.
Most of them avoided me for a few days and I honestly felt like I had the plague. If someone had just come up and given me a hug - boy that would have meant the world to me. During the next 5 months everytime one of the other pregnant women would walk by my desk with their big bellies - people around me would hold their breath (I guess thinking I was going to lose it). As sad as I was about my loss and wished someone would have been kind enough to mention it when it happened - I was genuinely happy for the other 2 women. Even some of my friends and family members said nothing more than "it was meant to be". If I heard that one more time from someone, I was sure I was going to strangle them. It was still a child I lost and if they had only realized how much I wanted to talk about my very real loss, offer a shoulder to cry on, it would have meant so much and helped through all that pain, instead of crying about it by myself for months.
After these horrible losses I've suffered through - anytime I know someone that has lost a relative or dear friend I always offer to talk to them about it, give them my shoulder, whatever they need. They can tell me they want to grieve in private, but at least I know I offered.
If you want to talk about it, just let me know. Again, so very sorry for your great loss. SusanNC