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- by ffrraanncciiss Nov 20, '12Hi, guys. I'm actually not a nursing student but I'm dating one.
I'm just very desperate on advice right now and I'm sorry if this type of thing is frowned upon here.
We've been dating since Summer. We started as friends a few months before that. She's in her early 20s and I'm in the mid.
We both have an understanding that school is a priority for both of us (I'm a Psyc major). We both want the whole nine yards so far and right now, I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that she doesn't have much time for me.
We have talked about it before and it has been issue. We both know it's only going to get worst since next semester, both of us will be super busier.
Is this normal? Is there anything I can do. I know seeing each other once or twice every 2 weeks is a big possibility, which most likely will be, and I'm scared that it's going to effect how I view our relationship.
Like I said, I'm sorry, but I'm just very desperate right now. Thank you.
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- Nov 20, '12 by Hygiene QueenThis is very very normal!Nursing school is incredibly demanding.Fortunately, it doesn't last forever and if you can just be supportive now, she will be finished and have more time for you.Some relationships don't endure this temporary hardship.Try not take it personally.Hang in there.
- Nov 20, '12 by lexishellsI am a nursing student and my fiance is a History major and we see each other about twice a week...maybe! Normally only for an hour or two. It is tough but it is a good test of your strength as a couple. There is no doubt about it being hard and it will get really frustrating at times but you just have to remember that this is not forever. Things are rough now but the rest of your lives won't be like this. Good luck and just remember why you guys fell in love in the first place... it's the little things that count Leave her little love notes, send sweet texts, show up with her favorite coffee beverage.
- Nov 20, '12 by bubblejet50I would not have seen my then boyfriend, now husband, more than like every other weekend in school if we didnt live together. Nursing school is the crappiest, busiest time of anyone's life. It is up to you two how it affects the relationship but if both of you are invested and willing to give a lil it will work.
- Nov 20, '12 by grownuprosieessentially, this is a long distance relationship. You are a committed college boyfriend to continue in this scenario. a few things might help though. would she be willing to share a google calendar with you? My boyfriend has access to my online calendar. It used to be very disheartening for him when every time he asked me to do stuff, I was busy. Now, he looks at the calendar, finds a few hours i am not busy and only askes me to do stuff during these times. I also schedule my study time so he is not interfering with that by asking to do stuff. also, can you study together since you are both in school? A friend of mine scheduled study time with her boyfriend in another major. They set a timer, study for 60 min and take 10 minute breaks with each other. Quiet time is good in a relationship anyway.
I hope it works out!
- Nov 20, '12 by Wrench PartyMy live-in domestic partner of the last 5 years is not in school, but nursing school definitely rocked the boat a bit. He has had to
take on more domestic responsibility as I study and work, but it's made our relationship overall stronger. We know it's a bump in the road onto better earnings and a better quality of life.
My advice is try to empathize with how stressful it is, and try to accommodate her in reasonable ways. She is at the mercy of the peculiar beast known as nursing school...early morning clinicals, odd class hours, hours of studying. Try to carve out a common night per week you put the books down and hang out as a couple. Do not pressure her for sex, attention, or time, as this will just stress her out more. Maybe try to make her dinner, do some chores, or anything to feel she is special.
- Nov 20, '12 by NICU:)This is a very common thing. I wish my boyfriend would have tried this, as our relationship has had it's rocky points the last couple of years. We are also both in school, and live together. We have opposite schedules and no time for each other. I have had a hard time getting him to realize that I am physically and mentally drained at the end of the week. Be supportive, communicate your needs, be respectful of hers, too. Remember that she will be done and you both will live happier lives because of it. One thing that has helped us is that we take one night a month (yeah, that's all we have time for) to go out and have supper, talk about subjects not including school, and remember why we are together.
Try to be understanding that her schedule is very selfish, nursing school is a way of life. It is completely different than going to a University for some other major, and a full time job. Be patient. Good luck and best wishes!
- Nov 20, '12 by zoe92I am so about to send this to my S/O who is in the military. Between our two schedules... we probably will go weeks without seeing each other!
- Nov 20, '12 by hodgieRNIt was an issue for me too. My didn't see my friends that much either. See if you can got involved in her studying. Help her with exams by testing her notes or flashcards. Involve her in your studying as well. See if you guys can studying together. When I was with my girlfriend, we would sit on the couch or table and studying next to each other and not in separate rooms. We would go eat together during breaks. Take her out to dinner after exams or agree to meet her classmates when celebrating after finals. If she has study groups, offer to drive her and pick her up in order to have some time together. Make date nights. I think people take those night for granted, but a simple lunch on wed or thurs can be great. Offer her nice gestures. I would offer to iron my gf's clothes or make her a sandwich for the next day. See if you can meet her after clinicals and get a bite to eat. Clinicals can be a long day and the appetite is storming by afternoon. If you are an early bird, see if you can meet up for some coffee before clinicals. If she works at a hospital, drive up there and meet on her lunch break. Lots of married couples do this at the hospital b/c that's the only time they see their kids or have some alone time before walking into a crazy household. Show you are involved in her future career. Go window shopping for scrubs. Buy her a stethoscope or crocs for her birthday or holidays.
It's easier to say the two of you are too busy. See if you can make special, tiny moments. Sometimes, its the small moments that count. My gf bought me a stethoscpe for my birthday and it was the sweetest thing she could have gotten me. I woke up one morning and went into living room, and their she was,,all my scrubs laid out on the couch with the stethoscope... It was perfect. Everything was together, ironed, starched, and it was really nice! I thought how awesome she was. Help her in the morning! Don't just lay in bed. Get up and cook breakfast for her. Get involved! All else fails, get a picnic basket and go the beach and have a nice moment. You guys are going to HAVE to make time for each other. You make it! You just have to realize that the small things is what's most important!I loved it when my clinicals was over and saw my gf there in her car. We just went to channelside and eat and had ice cream. Thats what it's about! Make the time. Make the Effort! Do the things that you both will enjoy. Heck, go see a show or something! Good Luck!
- Nov 21, '12 by ffrraanncciissFunny you mentioned the LDR because I did think about that. But anyways.. studying together is what we do now and what we plan to continue doing next semester. Sundays is so far what we're thinking of having our study dates.
Thanks for the other suggestion about the calendar. That's duly noted.