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- by nolanewb Jan 25Hi, everyone...Just got into a great nursing program with a previous classmate that I've developed a friendship with over the last year through similar pre-reqs. As our program is a solid 45 min away, we've tried to get involved with carpooling. I've been hyper-organized from the jump ( books a month in advance, etc.) while my friend is a week deep into classes and still sans books (how does one get this far with no books? I have no idea). Problem is, everyone we met "together" has begun defecting from our group, and I recently found out it's bc my "friend" seriously doesn't have her **** together (always talking about drama with the husband not supporting her, threatening to cut her off for being in school, not helping with the three kids, and on and on). It appears that I am the only one in this girl's corner, but I admit that she is also driving me CRAZY, but we carpool together and go back a bit. Please advise. I feel that there must be some way I can honor our friendship without sacrificing my success and networking prowess...
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- Jan 25 by kgh31386I suggest not listening if it bothers you. I also suggest don't judge others without being in their shoes. And FYI...I didnt buy most of the books required when I was in undergrad, still graduated with honors because notes, clinical, and paying attention did me just fine. Yes some of my classmates did need the books everyday, but others didn't...we're all different
- Jan 25 by StephalumpWhen school first starts, everyone is a little lonely and tries to bond together before they really know each other. The reality is that as time goes on, people gravitate toward each other, form groups, clash with each other, and show themselves to be assets or liabilities. There are people I spent a good deal of time with in the beginning that I rarely speak to nowadays. Nothing big happened and there's no lack of friendliness; it's just life.
I wouldn't judge your friend too harshly based on other people's opinions. I highly doubt you can handle her but everyone else around finds her repulsive. Maybe it's just the few you happened to live near. Regardless, you have a carpool buddy. She's not sewn to your hip, so networking shouldn't be a big deal. Just talk to other people, too. Go to study groups. You're only a week in. You'll find your place
- Jan 25 by nolanewbHey, guys, thanks for responding. Yeah, I kind of had an aha moment last night because I've actually been on this site awhile and swore to myself that I wouldn't ever become like some of the folks here - super catty and harboring this fight-for-yourself mentality. Then, school starts, and we aren't even a week in and here I am with people in my ear saying this and that about whomever. That's not really my style. She's my friend, and she needs my support, and that's what I'm going to give her. I think there's a huge difference between being supportive and holding someone's hand. Also, Steph you hit the nail right on the head -- everyone's trying so hard to make friends, they'll say just about anything to latch onto to those they "think" they should be latching to. In reality, most solid relationships develop much differently. I should know, I've caught myself doing the same thing. Anyway, thank you.
- Jan 26 by rubatonolanewb,
It sounds like you've got things figured out. Good for you. Yes, there are those that cause more drama, but sometimes, they make the best friends in school. You will know what's right for you and who you can get along with. If her behavior is negatively affecting you, you can choose to talk to her or distance yourself a little. If her behavior is bothering others, that's their problem.
There are two women in my class that annoy everyone. And, I mean everyone. One asks a hundred questions and it's tough to get through a lecture with her. The other has all the answers, even correcting the instructors and loves the sound of her own voice. It took me an entire semester to agree with what everyone was saying about them. I have decided to get to know the woman who asks all the questions all the time. I know she's annoying, but we have clinicals together this semester, and everyone has made her an outcast. I feel bad for her and hope to help her a little if I can (not that I'll be able to answer all her questions, but I'll try).
We are down to 61 people in our second semester and everyone is just different. Some of our personalities work really well together and some don't. It's okay.
And, just so you know, I was like you and had my books months before school started. Guess what, I didn't open a book my entire first semester. Not once. Of course, I'm not recommending this way of doing things, but it won't be your friends demise. As long as she's getting it together now, she'll probably be fine.