Nursing School Probs - page 2

I need help guys. You know the struggle of instructors being so hard on you and it makes you fearful. One mistake and it's like your never gonna be a good nurse. I'm in my second year and there... Read More

  1. by   maxthecat
    At the risk of sounding harsh, it's not your instructors' fault that you feel intimidated. You are choosing to respond to them in an intimidated way and only you can change your response. I've had intimidating instructors, managers, co-workers, providers over the years. I had to learn to listen for the content of what I could learn beneath whatever attitude they were projecting. You will find people who are less than pleasant in whatever job you end up doing and it's part of becoming an adult to learn to cope with those people.
    Often you'll find that people are not consciously trying to belittle you, they just have an abrupt style of interacting. You can either feel bad or learn to work with them.

    Maybe you could work with a fellow classmate who will portray the "intimidator" and you are yourself. They criticize you and you try out different ways of responding in a calm, clear manner, without capitulating or making excuses. For instance, Instructor: "How are you going to give Mr X his meds without any water! You need to keep your mind on the job if you want to be a decent nurse." You: Yes, sir. I'll go get water now." See how you respond to what needs to be done instead of responding to what you perceive as an attack and making excuses or becoming overly apologetic, "I got sidetracked when I was looking up meds. I don't usually forget water. I'm so sorry."

    It will get easier. I started out much like you, believe it or not, and I had to learn a lot about interacting with all sorts of people over the years. Nursing will give you ample opportunity to learn that! I wish you well.
  2. by   Hope2banurse1
    I'm not in Nursing school yet, but that post about it being your fault for how you're feeling, that just put me off. Surely some people can find some decency and compassion, you guys are studying to be nurses.

    Op it doesn't hurt to ask for help. Maybe you can ask your classmates or family members to practice on them. Go into the skills lab, write things down to help you remember. When I did a cna program, I would do the steps while someone is watching me to see if I missed anything and then go from there. I can't believe someone would say it's your fault for feeling the way you feel about potentially always being picked on or yelled at smfh. No empathy...she probably thinks it's the patient's fault when they're crying because they got sick.
  3. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from Hope2banurse1
    I'm not in Nursing school yet, but that post about it being your fault for how you're feeling, that just put me off. Surely some people can find some decency and compassion, you guys are studying to be nurses.

    Op it doesn't hurt to ask for help. Maybe you can ask your classmates or family members to practice on them. Go into the skills lab, write things down to help you remember. When I did a cna program, I would do the steps while someone is watching me to see if I missed anything and then go from there. I can't believe someone would say it's your fault for feeling the way you feel about potentially always being picked on or yelled at smfh. No empathy...she probably thinks it's the patient's fault when they're crying because they got sick.
    Oh, good grief. You are the one who decides how you're feeling; no one else. Pointing out that the majority of nursing instructors are more interested in teaching nursing that in providing "good vibes" is not indicative of a lack of decency and compassion. It is indicative of practicality and a desire to see the OP succeed rather than fail because he couldn't function in an environment which he considered less than optimum. Empathy is a wonderful quality, but it needs to be tempered with a goodly amount of reality as well.
  4. by   Hope2banurse1
    Quote from Ruby Vee
    Oh, good grief. You are the one who decides how you're feeling; no one else. Pointing out that the majority of nursing instructors are more interested in teaching nursing that in providing "good vibes" is not indicative of a lack of decency and compassion. It is indicative of practicality and a desire to see the OP succeed rather than fail because he couldn't function in an environment which he considered less than optimum. Empathy is a wonderful quality, but it needs to be tempered with a goodly amount of reality as well.

    Haha I guess a child decides how they feel when they're being yelled at. In the split second of someone doing that to a person, yea I guess you're right. They quickly decide, ok now is the time to feel hurt. According to you guys, emotions can be easily controlled by just saying, "self don't feel bad immediately after being yelled at etc." Rme yea I don't feel like debating with emotionally stunted people. Hope none of you have kids.
  5. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from Hope2banurse1
    Haha I guess a child decides how they feel when they're being yelled at. In the split second of someone doing that to a person, yea I guess you're right. They quickly decide, ok now is the time to feel hurt. According to you guys, emotions can be easily controlled by just saying, "self don't feel bad immediately after being yelled at etc." Rme yea I don't feel like debating with emotionally stunted people. Hope none of you have kids.
    Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I was replying to a child. I thought we were all adults on this site. Please forgive my assumption.
  6. by   NurseAsh0912
    Compassion and understanding are lacking in the comments section of this thread. As human beings we all need to remember that kindness is key. You NEVER know what someone is going through or has gone through; ie. previous emotional abuse and neglect by a narcissist that limits ones ability to deal with harsh words, criticism, and negativity as adults. My suggestion to the OP is to breath and talk about your struggles with the instructors, most are understanding and accommodating.
  7. by   Here.I.Stand
    Quote from futuremurse93
    Wow, could you be any harsher? Not even remotely helpful.
    I didn't take her advice as harsh at all -- rather straightforward and wise. Personally I would have been grateful for Ruby's advice as a student!...and I say that as one with a sensitive streak. Her advice is that good.
  8. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from NurseAsh0912
    Compassion and understanding are lacking in the comments section of this thread. As human beings we all need to remember that kindness is key. You NEVER know what someone is going through or has gone through; ie. previous emotional abuse and neglect by a narcissist that limits ones ability to deal with harsh words, criticism, and negativity as adults. My suggestion to the OP is to breath and talk about your struggles with the instructors, most are understanding and accommodating.
    Here's the thing. You never know what someone is going through or has gone through when they're dealing with someone too sensitive to handle nursing school or the nursing unit or their first job or whatever. I'm sorry you were neglected and abused; the nurse you're ragging on for not being compassionate enough may go home to a husband who knocks her around or a narcissistic, abusive mother who is now older and dependent upon her.

    It isn't incumbent upon experienced nurses, nursing instructors or preceptors to be mindful of the student or new employee's tender feelings if the student or new employee doesn't believe it is incumbent upon them to be mindful of the senior nurse, nursing instructors or preceptor's feelings.

    Compassion is a two way street.
  9. by   Horseshoe
    Quote from NurseAsh0912
    Compassion and understanding are lacking in the comments section of this thread. As human beings we all need to remember that kindness is key.

    That isn't the reality of the world. "Kindness" just for the sake of making someone feel "good vibes" or not feel frustrated when they make mistakes is hard to come by in the working world. The OP's instructors are trying to prepare him for the actual nursing working environment. What I think several of the actual nurses are trying to say is that you cannot control how others behave. You can only control how you react. Learning how to deal with difficult people, accept constructive though harsh criticism, etc., is part of being a competent, productive adult.
  10. by   ponymom
    School (including and *especially* clinicals), is by far the easiest, most stress-free part of the whole nursing thing.
  11. by   Noctor_Durse
    Quote from ponymom
    School (including and *especially* clinicals), is by far the easiest, most stress-free part of the whole nursing thing.
    So true!

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