So after 3 years of trying to get into nursing school and getting denied 3 times, i finally got in. But something felt weird. When i saw i was accepted, i wasn't as happy as i expected. I was just like, "they accepted me, but why" but then i thought it just hadn't hit me yet. Orientation comes around and im really nervous. When i went to orientation, i wasn't as excited as the other people around me. (granted they try to scare you) So i thought the feeling would come a little later. But my classes were starting and i still wasn't excited, i just don't feel passionate anymore. Today i looked around my class and i noticed that all these people were so active in their learning and i wasn't as enthusiastic. I received my test grade back and i got a 100 on one of them but then got an 84 (C) on another. And that's when it hit me again that maybe this isn't for me and isn't what i thought. I still want to take care of people, i'm just not as enthusiastic about this as i had hoped. I thought my initial feeling was wrong, but i guess it isn't. The thing is people say i would be a good nurse but i really don't feel excited or passionate with any of my classes. I'm not sure what to do anymore =/
I've set my eyes on becoming a nurse and going to nursing school since 9th grade, maybe it's because i was so determined? But now since im here, my true feelings are coming out. I don't know. But shouldn't i be more excited? Someone please give me advice, any advice at all. I start clinicals in a few weeks and im just not sure if i can do it. If i'm not passionate now (or even when i got accepted), will i ever be?