My husband can't deal with my new experiences!

  1. Hi everyone!

    You know how it feels when you are so excited about something, you just want to burst until you can tell someone? I have been experiencing so many new things in my clinical rotations, and I am so excited about actually being able to do new nursing skills. Up until last semester we had been doing a lot of CNA type stuff, which I've done before, so it was no big deal to me. Now we're finally getting to do a lot of meds, and dressing changes, and catheters, and other nurse related things, and I am just so excited about it I want to tell my husband all about it when we talk. It's the highlight of my clinical days, and I want to be able to share it with him.

    But my husband can't stand to listen to that type of stuff, it really grosses him out. I know I shouldn't feel bad that he's just not into the medical stuff like I am, but I get my feelings hurt when he doesn't want to hear it. I feel like he's missing out on a big part of my life that I can't share with him, and it makes me feel like we are not close anymore. He is supportive in every other way, and is happy for me that I am finally doing what I've always wanted to do, but it is so hard not to be able to share that with him. I do have nursing school friends I can talk to, but I want him to be a part of this life also.

    Has anyone else been through this? I guess I just want to know if this is normal, or if it will get better. Any words of wisdom?
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  2. 16 Comments

  3. by   RNConnieF
    My husband NEVER wants to hear about my work, I am lucky, my daughter is in pre-med and she's always interested. Tell us about your experiences, we'll listen.
  4. by   l.rae
    hubby doesn't like medical speak either...don't bother me none....figure we ain't joined at the hip..well you know what l mean.......Thank gawd......LR
  5. by   zacarias
    My family isn't that excited when I tell them about new stuff and clinical or new procedures. I share that type of stuff generally with online student nurses and also my fellow students in my class. It is hard though because it's a unique experience we go through that many can't understand. It's not their fault, but it's our loss.


    Z
  6. by   emily_mom
    I THOUGHT my husband was never listening (however, he grew up on a farm so he's not grossed out), but I was in shock when he had surgery last week. His nurse (used to be director of a nursing home for 20 years that just closed, so she is training) tried to put his BP cuff on his surgery arm (HELLO?). He calmly asked her what she was doing and then corrected her. I love it. She used to be my boss and I hated her, so that was sweet. But, the point of my story: when you think they're not listening, they are!
  7. by   TeresaRN2b
    I try and think of it this way. My dh works as a maintenance mechanic. There are times when he comes home talking about work and I just smile and am supportive, but am absolutely clueless about what he is talking about. For the most part it is the most boring thing for me to hear about, but I listen anyway because it is his job and his interests. I try and remember this when he doesn't share the same enthusiasm as me. Please don't let this discourage you if your dh is being supportive in every other way I think you got a keeper. Find other people to share your enthusiasm with. I have a friend in nursing school and I call her every time I have some nursing news because I know she is the only one that will really get it.

    Teresa
  8. by   Mkue
    Hi,
    My husband usually replies with one word, "gross".. one day I listened to a story about his day and I said "gross" ! We laughed.

    I think he is actually interested in what you are doing, he probably just can't think of any questions to ask you
    :chuckle
  9. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Hubby doesn't like medical talk, especially OB stuff, so I try not to inundate him with details. But there are days when I just have to talk, and I do it without really knowing. A couple of weeks ago I had a bad day, and went on and on about it at home. At one point I apologized, and he said "that's OK, sometimes you just gotta let it out. You don't do that alot, so I guess I'm due."

    A couple of the others made good points. What does he do? Does he talk about his job alot? It doesn't sound at all like he's not supportive, just like he can't quite handle the medical aspect of it, so I wouldn't worry about it.

    Nursing school is filled with so many new and exciting experiences that you have to share in graphic detail with someone! Just make sure you have lots of other support systems available (hello! allnurses!)

    But when you start your career as a nurse, the discussions will be less skill/detail oriented, and more focused on the interpersonal relationships and work environment dynamics, which he'll be more able to handle!

    Heather
  10. by   babynursewannab
    My guy comes close to passing out if I tell him simply "I removed a drain today." I was worried about it but luckily, my best friend is a surgical tech so we can talk "goo" until the cows come home.

    This is just one of those situations where you may need to find "outside support".

    -Alyssa
  11. by   CountrifiedRN
    Thanks so much everyone, you've made me feel so much better! Like I said, I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but there are those days when I just really want to share with him, and I want him to find my stories as interesting and funny as I do, hehe. But he just hates to hear about medical stuff, and any talk of blood grosses him out. And any talk about female or OB related stuff, which is the rotation I'm doing now, he says is more that he ever wanted to know.:chuckle

    He doesn't talk about his work very much, because he knows it is way over my head. He works at a power plant and runs the generators and does all the computer stuff. I do try to be supportive if he does want to talk about it, but usually the whole point of the story he is telling is sidetracked by me needing explanations about everything because I don't have a clue what the thing-a-ma-bob on the generator is supposed to do, much less the significance of what it is doing wrong.

    I am thankful for the support of all of you allnurses friends, I am so glad I found this board. It's the greatest! So....who wants to hear about the weird female anatomy I encountered on my first attempt at cathing a patient.......LOL
  12. by   canoehead
    Maybe a dinner out with some nurse friends and their husbands is in order, the nurses could chat about guts and the guys can found their own support group.
  13. by   NICU_Nurse
    I agree with Canoehead!! My husband has a queasy stomach, and a sensitive dispostion, which basically means that I am responsible for all roach-capturing in the house, and that I cannot under any circumstances say the words placenta, lochia, cervix, node, phlegm, mucous, or secretion within fifty feet of his ears. Luckily, my mother is a nurse, so you can probably guess that the bulk of our time on the phone is spent cackling wildly and trading stories, both of us speaking that special Nurse-ese fluently and with total abandon. ;>) My husband, if he is nearby, is a victim to this, but after three years (two in nursing school, one as an actual nurse) he is actually starting to come around. I stuck a sterile, brand new IM needle through my finger the other night- it went clear through my squishy flesh and right out the other side, barely missing the bone (mere millimeters!) and this story, replete with dripping blood and everything, managed to captivate him for oh...about a minute...but the more I begged him to look at the holes, the more green he got until I finally gave up. I am also in the habit of running and chasing him around the apartment screaming things like, 'Blood clots the size of navel oranges!' and 'Strings of blood tinged mucous eight inches long!' while he trys, without success, to find a place to hide. One of his friends has a thing for nurses, and is more than entertained by my using big medical words, so when my hubby threatens to leave me (in jest...don't misunderstand!) I always tell him that his friend would be more than happy to have me whispering "...mmm...amniotic fluid..." in his ear. That usually shuts him up. ;>P Canoehead is on the money- gather a group of nursing friends, all with stomachs of cast-iron, grab a couple of margaritas, and let it all out. You'll feel much better. Do this once a month and your problem is solved. In a pinch, read some of our threads on gross or yucky wounds in nursing, and meet said girlfriends as soon as humanly possible.
  14. by   jnette
    [QUOTE]Originally posted by TeresaRN2b
    [B]I try and think of it this way. My dh works as a maintenance mechanic. There are times when he comes home talking about work and I just smile and am supportive, but am absolutely clueless about what he is talking about. For the most part it is the most boring thing for me to hear about, but I listen anyway because it is his job and his interests. I try and remember this when he doesn't share the same enthusiasm as me. Please don't let this discourage you if your dh is being supportive in every other way ...

    Teresa's got it right.

    My hubby gets as excited and interested in my work as I do when he talks football, racing, or his concrete work...it's not that he doesn't CARE.. just can't relate. That's ok. He does care, so that's what's important ! I'm sure you'll have plenty of other wonderful life experiences to share in common...find someone to buddy with that can get really excited with you and have a "silly day" together every so often and let it all out ! I share your joy and excitement along with all the others here.. but sometimes it's more fun in person with a good buddy...

    Keep your enthusiasm regardless of hub's inability to relate !

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