Maybe I'm being a baby but..... this annoyed me a bit

  1. So, I finished Nursing I yesterday. And I'm thrilled. The department was able to have our final exam grade (89) and course grade (B+) within a couple of hours of the exam. So I waited for that and then came home. I showed it to my husband, and well......... Here's where I get angry....... he just said "um hmmmmm" and that was that. No, "hey that's great", no, "wow, good job", no "I'm proud of you", nothing. I didn't expect a party or presents or balloons, but, I was hoping for a little recognition for my hard work. Which all of you know, this is hard work. I busted my butt studying, doing my research, clinical prep and all that. No time for anything else but I still managed to keep the house clean, the clothes washed, and dinner on the table, the kids cared for. So, I guess I was just hoping to hear, "good job Hun". Oh well, at least the kids noticed. They all flocked me when they got home from school wondering how I did and then I got my "I'm proud of you" and "great job Mom". So, all is not lost. But, am I being silly? LOL. Maybe so, I just wish he'd notice. Well, either way I'm proud of me, that's all that matters.
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  2. 27 Comments

  3. by   EmerNurse
    I used to tell my hubby that he was taking me out for a really really nice dinner at the end of each semester - for celebration if I did really well and for sympathy if I didn't (thank goodness that didn't happen!).

    Failing that - buy yourself something nice and tell him thank you! <eg>
  4. by   UM Review RN
    Are you kidding?

    The dumba** should've broken out the champagne and reclaimed his wife. If only for a few weeks till next semester.

    Nursing school is such a drain on the entire family. He's probably not looking forward to having no time with you for the duration of the schooling.

    But use the end of each semester to rekindle the flames of your marriage, no matter who has to initiate the process.



    On graduation night, we had a "renew the wedding vows" night and we celebrated for about a week with going out to movies and just generally being together again.

    Tell you what you should do--make him the only guest at your ritual clinical uniform-burning on graduation celebration. Maybe then it'll hit home that he actually will get his friend and partner back.

    Good luck!
    Last edit by UM Review RN on Dec 21, '06
  5. by   canoehead
    What a butthead. The kids know school is hard, and good for them for congratulating you.
  6. by   Daytonite
    Cake and ice cream for the kids tomorrow. The old man gets creamed chipped beef over toast for dinner. He can go to McDonald's if he wants something better to eat.
  7. by   Sheri257
    I have to admit, my hubby has always been great about things like this. Even if I didn't do so well on an exam or whatever ... he'd say I did a great job anyway.

    :typing
  8. by   pegbord
    giggles rn2b, CONGRATULATIONS ON COMPLETING YOUR FIRST SEMESTER!!!!!! doing everything necessary to even get accepted to nursing school is a huge undertaking; then actually entering, figuring out the logistics of the program, establishing a place for youself within the group of classmates, and trying to get a handle on what the instructors expect ---- not to mention accommodating home-life situations whether or not there's a test the next morning . . . . i am bowing to you!!!!

    i also completed my first semester of nursing school this month and am exhausted from the program. i feel so rewarded to have completed this first semester and have only 3 more to go. i know the drain i felt and the toll it took on my relationship with my husband. i do not have small children at home, my house was always compromised (not up to standards of clean!!) and i always felt like i was in the middle of an inhale. finally first semester concludes and i get to exhale . . . i want to celebrate in conjunction with the exhale!

    i know the hard work you are choosing by doing your progam and i salute you. your husband may not have a clue of what is truly involved in what you are doing. he will benefit from your hard work when you are employed and bring in a decent income. can you tell him you need a cheering-on each now and again and that it hurt your feelings not receiving any recognition from him for what you have accomplished? (i am constantly surprised by what my husband seems oblivious to. i know he loves me, he just doesnt quite do the acknowledgment thing like i'd like.)

    anyway, for now, tell him exactly what you need, spell it out, then give him a big smooch and smile, hand him the car keys and with a twinkle in your eye, tell him that you will wait right there while he goes out to get belated celebratory flowers and chocolate for you!
  9. by   MIA-RN1
    Go buy yourself a nice present. You have earned it. Talk to him also because the way he reacts now is how he will continue to react. My husband didn't do much either during school, and when I graduated he did zip, ditto when I passed boards. I wish now I'd talked to him then, so that he could see how much it meant to me. So talk to your husband now, so you don't feel worse later.
  10. by   luvs2readlotsRN
    Congradulations!! I made it through 1st semester too! WOO-HOO FOR US!!!

    I agree with coopergrrl...talk to that hubby and retrain him pronto! I busted my butt on my first exam, when I got an "A" and told hubby about it he just said, "Of course you made an A. Did you expect anything less?"in a rather uninterested tone of voice. Sat him down right there and told him I worked hard and he shouldnt expect me to coast through nursing school, but praise and acknowledge all my hard work. A's might become a thing of the past and I would want recognition for even a "F" if I put in the time. Come next exam, guess who hosted a little "celebration" for just the two of us!!
    Sometimes you just have to tell them!
  11. by   lady_db_programmer
    I'd be really annoyed if my husband reacted that way. Then again, he's English so he rarely gets excited about anything. (Ha ha ha.)

    I think there may be some issues there. Maybe he's resentful because you're doing something he wants to do. Maybe he thinks he's carrying more than his fair share of burdens, i.e. housework, kids, bills, etc. Maybe he didn't realize how hard nursing school was going to be on him.

    It's selfish of him, sure; but maybe it's time to sit down and have a serious talk with him about this. Don't start it with 'why weren't you happy for me the other day' because that will immediately put him on the back foot. Think about having a chat about where things are, what issues he is having, what you both can do to make both of your lives easier. It's easier to have this conversation now than a year or two from now when resentment may be at full boil. If your husband is anything like mine is, he won't say anything's wrong, ever. He'll just explode and it'll be ugly. Mine's getting better about not doing that, but it takes a lot of effort w/regards to communication.

    Good luck. :Santa5:
  12. by   jaylynn67
    Some men are that way, my husband used to be. I really had to teach him how to be encouraging to me. He never received any encouragement as a child and i really believe he didn't know how to give it. When i explained to him how important it is to me, he understood. Now he is very encouraging and always asks how my tests went and how class was. He told me last night how proud he is of me. That is so nice to hear after we work as hard as we do. Try explaining your feelings to him, it might work! Good Luck.
  13. by   jemommyRN
    I think you should communicate with him. tell him that you work very hard and you would just like him to recognize that you are not only doing this for yourself, but also for your family. Just let him know that you want to be 'babified'. that should solve it. People (especially not men) are not mind readers and unless you tell them, they won't know how you feel.
  14. by   CarolinaGal
    My husband (who usually is wonderful) acted the same way when I got my acceptance to nursing school in June. He muttered something like "that's good" and said nothing else. I was so angry that after I yelled bloody murder at him, I didn't speak to him for two days. (Childish, but effective). I found out later that he had had a bad day at work and after talking further, found that he had had no encouragement as a child (like Jaylynn's husband) and didn't know how to give it to anyone else. I explained how angry and hurt I was and how hard I had worked for that place in school. Since then, he has asked me about my results on EVERY test and how school is going at least three times a week! Talking it out is the best solution...

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