Maybe I'm being a baby but..... this annoyed me a bit - page 2

So, I finished Nursing I yesterday. And I'm thrilled. The department was able to have our final exam grade (89) and course grade (B+) within a couple of hours of the exam. So I waited for that and... Read More

  1. by   Megsd
    Yep, I agree. Tell him how you feel. I went through the same thing with my boyfriend this quarter. While my friend's husband brought her balloons after her first exam, I was told that getting an A on my first ever nursing exam "wasn't that big a deal" and that "it's not like passing your licensing exam". I told him that my test (especially for being the first nursing test ever) was very hard, I worked very hard and I am proud of my grade and he should be too. I told him I want to be told every now and then that he's proud of me (he's one of those "you should know I love you, I shouldn't have to say it a lot" types, and I'm a "if I don't hear it I don't always believe it" type).

    After our discussion, he made an effort to cheer me on test after test and after finishing my first quarter took me out to a fancy restaurant to celebrate.
  2. by   locolorenzo22
    let me say something from the single guy's perspective...A) I wish I had time to go on dates or find a gf this semester...just getting that out there. Having someone say "good job, way to go, etc." would be nice on top of what you get from friends in the program. However, there is a bit of competition among students so nobody wants to be the one below the one at the top, etc...
    I do have to say I'm thankful for my family as everyone has been so supportive when I talk to them...everyone was great about my A's this semester....
    Your husband may be feeling alone, resentful, unaware of how much of a drain nursing school really is....talk it out. Let him know that once you graduate, you'll need him more than ever, especially because most new hire positions do wind up being at night...hence you'll need some help. Don't let him get away with it. we're all behind you.
  3. by   GardenDove
    Men are insensitive dogs, that's all there is to it.

    They do have their positive points too, though...
  4. by   P_RN
    Fortunately I'm married to my best friend and my biggest fan.

    He's the one who got the school application for me, made the appointment with the dean and gave me the rest of his GI bill monthly check while he was finishing school. After about a year I had enough to pay for my final classes. All men are not dogs, and I wish everyone could have a husband like I do.
  5. by   Tweety
    Yep, what a butthead.

    I'm proud of you! Congratulations! We understand if no one else does.
  6. by   smk1
    I think my husband just assumes that I will come home with "A's", he says "good job" etc... but he really just assumes that all is going well all the time. I shook him up though when I told him we lost 3 people this term. He sees the hard work, but sometimes it doesn't hurt to remind them that this process is not a cake walk...even if you are getting good grades.
  7. by   nurseangel47
    Oh how I recall feeling the same as you're all describing. I busted my hump in nursing school with two small younguns to care for while he worked in the corporate world traveling...all the time...all week long so he was NO help whatsoever while I was in school...well then, when I'd try to describe or relate as in have a regular ol' conversation (no names used, kept it confidential, of course) about something or anything related to nursing, he actually once said, " I forbid you to speak of nursing anymore around me!' "
    I was like, what! Thinking, gee...I really AM in this ol' world of mine and my interests alone! Anyway, long story short. He never rewarded me with any positive feedback re: nursing school either. And when I did graduate he simply deflated my ego even more by stating: " ' Great. Now your salary is going to put me into a higher tax bracket.' " Just like that...as if that was the only thing he cared about. Seems it really was. He was all about just the bottom line on things, money. Making pots of it We divorced after a year of me working the required third shift of fresh grads...it was the final straw in already strained relationship...so yeah, I'd have that talk sooner rather than later. And by the way, it wasn't nursing or nursing school or graduating and working f/t as a RN that finished off my marriage....it was doomed from the start...just took me seven years to finally admit to it.
    Good luck and congratulations on finishing that semester!
  8. by   Lisa CCU RN
    I'm starting to see that if you expect husbands to be totally disinterested, nonunderstanding (is that a word?) and unsympathetic to what you go through while in nursing school, they will exceed your expectations everytime.
  9. by   Lisa CCU RN
    Quote from nurseangel47
    Oh how I recall feeling the same as you're all describing. I busted my hump in nursing school with two small younguns to care for while he worked in the corporate world traveling...all the time...all week long so he was NO help whatsoever while I was in school...well then, when I'd try to describe or relate as in have a regular ol' conversation (no names used, kept it confidential, of course) about something or anything related to nursing, he actually once said, " I forbid you to speak of nursing anymore around me!' "
    I was like, what! Thinking, gee...I really AM in this ol' world of mine and my interests alone! Anyway, long story short. He never rewarded me with any positive feedback re: nursing school either. And when I did graduate he simply deflated my ego even more by stating: " ' Great. Now your salary is going to put me into a higher tax bracket.' " Just like that...as if that was the only thing he cared about. Seems it really was. He was all about just the bottom line on things, money. Making pots of it We divorced after a year of me working the required third shift of fresh grads...it was the final straw in already strained relationship...so yeah, I'd have that talk sooner rather than later. And by the way, it wasn't nursing or nursing school or graduating and working f/t as a RN that finished off my marriage....it was doomed from the start...just took me seven years to finally admit to it.
    Good luck and congratulations on finishing that semester!
    Curses, men like that make me mad!!!!! :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire
  10. by   JennyRN09
    Hey, giggles here, the one who started the post.

    First, I want to thank everyone for their replies. Not only is this a great place to get valuable information and knowledge, its also a great place to vent because no one else knows better than another nursing student, what we are going through. So, thank you so very much for all the kind words.

    To the poster who gave his "guy perspective". I want to thank you personally as well for making me realize how lucky I am to even have someone in my life right now (whether or not they recognize my work). I couldn't even imagine going this alone right now. Hang in there and I know you will find a girlfriend soon to share this with. So thank you!

    Now, an update. After I had a day or so to rest up, I did approach him gently to find out what was up with that. At first I was so mad. Then, I thought about it and said, this is not like him at all, He had been saying for the past couple of weeks how much he was looking forward to "getting me back for a month". So, when I sat down with him, I discovered two things: one, like most people said in their posts, he came from a family that didn't push or encourage their kids, so he didn't really know what to say; two, on the day of my final, he actually had plans to take me out to celebrate, but the wind was knocked out of his sail when he found out (that very morning), that his company was planning layoffs and his department was being targeted. Soooooooooooo, he for one, had that on his mind since he is the sole bread winner now and things are really tight as it is. Two, by being nonreactive to me he thought he was helping by not putting a damper on the occassion; three, his biggest concern over everything else was how his getting laid off would affect my continuing in nursing school. The whole time he wasn't even thinking about how a lay off could effect our bills, our financial stability (which isn't very stable right now to begin with), or anything. He was worried about me. So boy, did I feel like a big butthead after finding that out.

    He explained that he knew this had been my lifelong dream to become a nurse. He knew how passionate I am just by the amount of work I put into it and how I come home and talk about all the things I did. He said it killed him to think of this coming at this time in our lives knowing how I light up when I talk about the patients I take care of and the things I am learning. So, he was under a lot of strain that day, and contrary to my own thoughts, I was the first and only thing on his mind.

    In turn, I explained to him that like everything else, we will get through it and we are going to enjoy this break I have. I thanked him up and down for being there all through the semester and working so hard himself (all the overtime, etc) to make this possible for me. He finds out today if he'll be spared from the lay off. He said come hell or highwater, he is going to make sure that I continue school and when I graduate he's having the biggest party I could imagine. He also made me promise to stay focused on school and not worry about everything else whether he gets laid off or not, let him take care of the worrying. So, I learned a lesson, to "assume" as a wise professor once said to my class, "makes an a** out of you and me". So true.

    Anywho, thanks to all of you for all the kind words! I really appreciate it. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I'll let you all know what happens later today!
  11. by   Tweety
    I'm glad you took the time to catch your breath and to share your feelings with him. Best of luck. I hope things work out for him and his job.
  12. by   JennyRN09
    Quote from nurseangel47
    Oh how I recall feeling the same as you're all describing. I busted my hump in nursing school with two small younguns to care for while he worked in the corporate world traveling...all the time...all week long so he was NO help whatsoever while I was in school...well then, when I'd try to describe or relate as in have a regular ol' conversation (no names used, kept it confidential, of course) about something or anything related to nursing, he actually once said, " I forbid you to speak of nursing anymore around me!' "
    I was like, what! Thinking, gee...I really AM in this ol' world of mine and my interests alone! Anyway, long story short. He never rewarded me with any positive feedback re: nursing school either. And when I did graduate he simply deflated my ego even more by stating: " ' Great. Now your salary is going to put me into a higher tax bracket.' " Just like that...as if that was the only thing he cared about. Seems it really was. He was all about just the bottom line on things, money. Making pots of it We divorced after a year of me working the required third shift of fresh grads...it was the final straw in already strained relationship...so yeah, I'd have that talk sooner rather than later. And by the way, it wasn't nursing or nursing school or graduating and working f/t as a RN that finished off my marriage....it was doomed from the start...just took me seven years to finally admit to it.
    Good luck and congratulations on finishing that semester!

    Wow, giggles here. You can read my other post, but wow, I have to say I don't have that exact problem. I'm so sorry you went through that. As I said in my other post, I got to the bottom of things and found out about the notice of a possible lay off in his department that came that day. But my hubby never told me things like "I forbid you to talk about nursing". Once he did say, "hun, I know your excited and I'm happy for you, but just once, can we take the few minutes you have and talk about something else", and understandably so. We do get wrapped up in nursing so much so that we don't realize that its all we talk about. But geez, after hearing your story, I feel so lucky now. I hope all worked out for you well. And I admire you, I have to say, going through that program alone with two little ones and absolutely no help, encouragement or anything from your husband had to be so hard. You are obviously a very strong person. Again, I am so sorry you went through that. But congratulations for making your dreams come true! Take care of yourself!
  13. by   GardenDove
    Sounds like you have a great marriage!

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