little peeved

  1. okay let me tell you, I am a clean person always have been always will be---I am not a neat nik!! I am very tired of my In-Laws hinting that I could be cleaner, if I need help just ask....
    ERG- I am a mom to a 1yr old and a 2yr old, I work 35 hours a week, and I am in Chemisrty this summer, and amazingly I actually have a life..I go to the grocery store. Anyway my MIL told me last week that if I didn't get organized before the fall semester started that I would not suceed.....I am organized!!!What in the world?? AYGH- how in the world do you tell your MIL off?
    Heather
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  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   delirium
    Do you live with your in-laws?
    I would just explain to them that you have no problem with your level of housekeeping, that you have priorities in your life at this time, and if they would like to see your home cleaner... the mop is in the closet.
    You do not have to adhere to the guidelines of cleanliness set forth by your almighty MIL. Doesn't she have walls to scrub or something?

    One of the first things I learned in nursing school is not to listen to other people's opinions. This teacher is horrible, this facility is bad, you're not organized enough... if you are not organized enough, you will find out, and you can correct the problem. In the meantime, enjoy your summer and politely (if possible) tell your MIL to mind her own business.
    Last edit by delirium on May 21, '02
  4. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Originally posted by MsPurp
    One of the first things I learned in nursing school is not to listen to other people's opinions.
    Perfectly said! You'll hear plenty from the people around you while you're in nursing school. Learn to weed out the bad, and seek out the good. Most of the negativity you'll get comes from those people who, in my opinion, are either jealous of your opportunities, or mad at how they effect them (or their darling son...)

    Good Luck!

    Heather
  5. by   Lausana
    "...and if they would like to see your home cleaner... the mop is in the closet. "

    Good One!

    my bf's mom told me that his cousin who is nursing school (great, never met her, she lives about 20 hours away ) said when she heard I was going, "does she know it's hard?" LOL, I politely smiled and said hmmm. I don't even know why she told me that :chuckle I guess everyone just wants to put their 2 cents in about what's happening in your life.
  6. by   Twomunchkins_99
    I have to say my MIL is an RN also, she actually has her bachelors and she keeps "reminding" her son how hard this is and "does he think I can do it?" OY! My husband is 100% supportive and keeps telling me to ignore his mother!
  7. by   Cindy_A
    I'm glad you have such a supportive husband! I think you should follow his advice!
  8. by   Love-A-Nurse
    Originally posted by Twomunchkins_99
    okay let me tell you, I am a clean person always have been always will be---I am not a neat nik!! I am very tired of my In-Laws hinting that I could be cleaner, if I need help just ask....
    ERG- I am a mom to a 1yr old and a 2yr old, I work 35 hours a week, and I am in Chemisrty this summer, and amazingly I actually have a life..I go to the grocery store. Anyway my MIL told me last week that if I didn't get organized before the fall semester started that I would not suceed.....I am organized!!!What in the world?? AYGH- how in the world do you tell your MIL off?
    Heather
    To me, this can be looked at from at least two perspectives. 1st, she may being trying in a rather difficult way to mentally perpare you for what lies ahead.

    2nd, she may be used to speaking her mind about issues and this one had gotten to you, only you know, if this is so, it should have been dealt with then because now she feels she has the "power" to do so.

    Sometimes people say things and don't mean any harm...voice of said person.

    Now, me being a very out spoken person, would tell her that I am open to any suggestions and criticisms, neg and pos. but telling me how to run our home, is out of the question.

    No matter what she says, she does not determine your either failing or succeeding in your life's endeavors.

    Sometimes it is better to hear and not hear than react unless......


    Keep your eye on the "prize"!
  9. by   Love-A-Nurse
    Originally posted by Twomunchkins_99
    I have to say my MIL is an RN also, she actually has her bachelors and she keeps "reminding" her son how hard this is and "does he think I can do it?" OY! My husband is 100% supportive and keeps telling me to ignore his mother!
    ...and as he should be! Great for you!
  10. by   Agnus
    Take your husband's advice. sounds like on some unconscious level she does not whan you to suceed. There can be MANY reasons that this may be the case.

    Since your hubby has told you to ignore her, I would go one step further and ask him to shelter you from her. You do NOT need her verbal assaults. You need support. He is in the best position to keep her at bay since she is HIS mother.
  11. by   Agnus
    If you really want to tell her off, You might say something like:

    thank you for your profound faith in me.

    I really appreceiated all the support you are giveing me.

    I especially appreciate the affirmations you have provided me to use in my self talk.

    There are thousands who have done this. I am sure it is challenging. You have proven it is not impossible.

    You might remind her it doesn't matter if she or her son think you can or can not do it. Your success depends on what YOU and you alone believe. Thank her for her opinion and tell her you will agree that you disagree and you respectfully would like to leave it at that, as you have no interest in debating this. A debate will prove nothing but your graduation will. You might say, If you are determined to proove me wrong then allow me to fail so you can say I told you so. If you don't want me to fail stop predicting it. Because right now You have me believeing that you want me to fail.

    Sorry, from what you say I am not willing to believe this wonam is not trying on some level to sabatage your efforts. I am not willing to say "maybe she is looking out for you and doesn't mean it. She is passive agresssive and I suspect her son knows her tactics.
    Last edit by Agnus on May 22, '02
  12. by   NurseDixie
    My husband realizes that I don't have time for housework. He pitches in and helps with dishes, vacuuming, etc. He doesn't cook, but he doesn't complain when I fix simple things for our meals. Also, he doesn't complain about leftovers.LOL.He's great!
    I don't have children at home. So I do wonder how some of you young'uns keep up with it all. But like the others said--If you want it bad enough-you can do it. Don't give up --and tell you MIL to pitch in and help if it's not clean enough for her.
  13. by   shay
    What a b*. Gawd. I'd probably tell her that (in my most sweet, drippingly sarcastic tone possible) I only hoped to one day be as perfect of a housewife, mother, and nurse as she. Sounds like she's got a case of nobody's-good-enough-for-my-baby to me. I'm the type of person who would tell her that unless she had something supportive and positive to say, she should keep her comments to herself, thank you very much. If she continued, I would tell her that as long as she was in my home she needed to respect my rules, and if she didn't like it motel 6 had a vacancy.
  14. by   Twomunchkins_99
    Thanks everyone for letting me vent, you all made me feel like I wasn't being persnickity about her behavior! Thanks!
    Heather

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