Ladies, Husbands supportive?

  1. My husband has champagne taste on a beer budget.
    Currently, I am not working. And the way it looks...a part time job may be all that I can handle while going to school.
    He works hard, and brings home ok pay but his car, his student loan payment, and (his) leisure items just eat it up! He believes if he earns it he should be able to spend it.
    I have a B.S.Ed degree and I am not using it. Therefore, I could be earning good money...So I feel guilty. We are having to cut corners which is not what he is use too.
    I truly believe he wants me to be happy by returning to school. Yet, I think he is ready for things like a home and children. He is 37 now. When nursing school is over he will be nearing 39.
    I feel awful. Sometimes I feel like giving up school and going back to my old job...just for the money.
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  2. 19 Comments

  3. by   kimmicoobug
    Supportive husband....to a point. Since I graduate in 7 months, he is looking forward to my paychecks. However, for most of my school career, he has been very unsupportive. He has told me to drop so many times because he doesn't think I can handle it. He is also a jealous type. Doesn't want me to even talk to my male instructors alone because he thinks one of them has a crush on me (for my EARNING high scores) My husband also likes to live a comfortable life, and as a result, we go under in our account nearly every month and can barely afford to keep our youngest in diapers.

    Anyways, though, I could go on for hours about my husband, but it would resolve nothing. I say, stick with the nursing if that is what you truly want to do. If you don't, there is a good chance that you could resent him for it in the future. If you do quit, do it for yourself and no one else. As for kids, you could do it while in school with lots of discussion with your other half and with a lot of support, planning and understanding. (Trust me, I know all about this one cause I did it.) Good luck to you.
  4. by   kittyw
    My ex was totally unsupportive... to the point of interferring. My BF is very supportive, of course, it doesn't effect him as much as we're not living together. But I do have less time to spend with him depending on my class schedule.... but he's dealt nicely with it... sneaking a few moments when he can and sending me sweet emails when he can't.

    Yesterday I was PMSing and he suggested I back off from school (not quit but stop trying to get all A's). I told him that was not an option and why .... he imediately said he was sorry & said he was all for my doing well but was concerned I was over doing it. I don't think he'll ever say that again.

    He's listened to my gross stories, knows the people in my school, acts all interested when I call and wake him up when I'm done with a test, and goes to school events with me. He's even ready to move where ever when I'm done with school.

    I'm so lucky...
  5. by   TeresaRN2b
    I have the world's best husband! Ok shameless bragging, but he is. I have been a stay at home mom for the past 4 years. He has supported me on that and supports me going back to school as well. We don't qualify for financial aid so he has been working mucho overtime to pay for my tuition. Not to mention that he has been helping with the kids too. I can't brag on him enough.

    I hope your hubby becomes more supportive too, but it does sound like he cares what makes you happy so that is good.

    Teresa
  6. by   dframirez
    My husband supports me with whatever he can...right now he's probably going to Job corps as he needs training too so it'll just be my income and 2 of us in school. It's been just me in school these past years now it's his turn to get in it too, although I'm still not done and I'm not stopping...not until I get my BSN. In the end it'll be a sacrifice well worth for the 3 of us. So you can say support here goes both ways.
  7. by   maire
    My hubby is very supportive, but sometimes I think he doesn't want things to change. To be fair, he bends over backwards to help me get whatever I want, and that includes finishing nursing school, but all the while I hear that unspoken protest. Dunno if that makes sense or not.
  8. by   Mkue
    My husband is very supportive. He doesn't like to hear about all the gory details of clinical sites but he is very supportive and I'm so lucky to have him !
  9. by   javamom
    My husband is very supportive too. We're broke and I feel guilty for sure, but I think that in 2 yrs, when I'm earning a living, I'll be repaying my gratitude by supporting him while he seeks his masters. It's the only thing I can do to repay him for the horrendous work schedule he leads to make my dream come true.

    He stays with the kids on my late night school evenings, gets up in the morning to be sure I can sleep a few extra minutes after staying up late studying, etc.. he's been wonderful. Thank goodness.
  10. by   RN2B2005
    My husband of 5 years is alternately supportive of me going to school (everyone in his family has a B.Sc. or higher) and unsupportive of me not being at home fulltime with our son. It's little things, like him saying that I "have to have everything organised" or "do you really think you can take all those classes and keep the house up" or "how is Sam going to do in daycare"? His favourite refrain is "well, if we could live off of your income, you could do whatever you want and I would be happy to stay at home, but we don't have that luxury"--knowing that even if I went back to work at my old job fulltime tomorrow, I'd still make less than 1/3 of his income. The worst is when he makes references to my history of depression--a disease I have managed well with medication--saying things like, "are you sure you can do this? are you taking your meds?" if I forget to make the bed or something.

    I am currently applying for some (menial) 3rd shift jobs at the hospital near my home just so that I don't have to pay childcare and tuition expenses out of 'his' money. If I land one of those jobs, the hospital has a tuition reimbursement programme. I'm not in the nursing programme yet, just taking basic courses now, will fulltime start Fall of 2003, so it could get worse before it gets better, especially on the childcare front. My husband has changed a grand total of 24 diapers over 17 months.

    Incidentally, shabookitty, my husband is also 37, and I think the age is a big factor. He really wants another child and soon, and I think on some level he's worried that I won't produce one if I'm in school (I'm 27).
  11. by   Ortho_RN
    My husband is supportive... I have a degree in Veterinary Technology and worked as a Cert. Vet Tech for a year, then I got tired of animals dying for NO reason other than the vets laziness so I walked out.. Of course he wasn't happy.. We had just had a house built.. I drive a 2000 Nissan Xterra and he drives a 2002 Chevy Avalanche.. So basically his money goes for the house, cars and bills... I work 3 days a pay period and that gives me about 200.00 so I buy groceries and household stuff with that...

    He makes comments occasionally about how he can't wait for me to get out of schoo and I don't blame him.. He is working to pay for everything while I go to school... But he is very supportive
  12. by   researchrabbit
    My ex was not only unsupportive, he told me (after I threw him out) that he hired prostitutes and kept a mistress because he made more money than I did so I "owed" it to him!!!!!!
  13. by   2banurse
    Wow! When I hear c&*%&p like that it makes me glad that I am single. Here you are working your a$$ off to finish school to get a position that will better all of your lives, and they are acting like spoiled children because they have to make some changes.

    For those of you ladies that have supportive hubbies, hold on to them, because they seem to be far and few in between.

    Why do I seem so upset about this? My b-in-law is a classic example of this and now he is suing my sister for a divorce and full-custody because she is not "pulling her weight."

    K
  14. by   howie122832
    My husband is Very supportive. He is a firefighter/paramedic and works a 24 hour shift at the fire dept, then his second job is at the ER at the hospital where he works 12 hour shift. He also fits in sleeping, being a dad, and listening to me and my stories, gripes...etc..

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