Jealous that I have no life | allnurses

Jealous that I have no life

  1. 0 I am in my first semester of nursing school and I spend most of my time studying. I don't really have much of a life outside of school and work other than hanging out with my fiance. My fiance has been going out with his friends and family on weekend though while I am left home to catch up on all the work I have to do. My fiance had to pick up a 3rd job to support us while I am in school this semester since my job cut my hours significantly. He is at home when I am at work/school and vice versa so we never really get to see each other since he keeps hanging out with his friends and family. He tries to get me to go with him, but I am literally drowning in work so I just can't go. I am so jealous that he keeps going out and wont ever stay home with me. I hate having no life, and sometimes I just wish that when I had no life he would have no life too. I know that's wrong, but I am so overworked with school that I just cant help but wish he would just stay in with me. Anyone else married/engaged and have the same problem as me while in school? Any advice? Am I wrong for wishing he would just stay home with me?
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  2. 42 Comments

  3. Visit  LoriBSN2b profile page
    #1 7
    I wish mine would get a life and go out sometimes! I am literally pulling my hair out trying to study while he yaks at me all day long. Go out and golf! Do something! I can have textbooks all over my lap and my computer in front of me trying to do a quiz or paper and he's still yakking! The TV is on the news 24/7 and he's commenting on the commentators!!! SHUT UP already!
  4. Visit  Mrs.Angel profile page
    #2 5
    I'm currently married, and I can see how this would upset you...but honestly, if hes willing to get a 3rd job to support both of you, and hes inviting you, I don't think he's doing anything wrong. He needs some distraction too, and if he's already coping with you being busy all the time..you made it! I've heard of nursing students having problems because the bf or fiance wasn't being supportive. Honestly, my husband would be a distraction from my studies. Just focus on school and hang in there! It won't be like this forever, it is just temporary. If you manage your work well, you should be able to at least go out with him once a week, even if it's just for an hr or two...it will help with your sanity too! Hang in there!! It'll all be worth it!
  5. Visit  Karmatism profile page
    #3 3
    I agree with the PP. I get how you feel but you struck gold with a man like that. Even if you got your way, chances are he'd grow resentful of never having time to himself - and rightfully so. That being said, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for a date night a few times a month. You should also try and peel yourself away from your work from time to time as hard as it is and go out with him.I made that mistake in the beginning of school. Don't let your relationship suffer anymore than it has to.
  6. Visit  ER(notso)n00b profile page
    #4 1
    It won't last forever, you'll get your life back. Nursing school sucks the life out of you, but those who aren't in it don't really get it. I am married to a nurse and we have 3 kids under 8 - DH works 2 jobs and we are never home at the same time. On weekends he likes to go ride his dirt bike and I'm ok with it since it helps him unwind. I unwind by watching TV late at night when the kids are in bed and he's at work. It's rough but the thing that keeps us going is remembering that this is temporary.

    I know it's hard, but try to carve some time out of each day to do something that makes you feel good. Good luck to you.
  7. Visit  Dranger profile page
    #5 3
    I REALLY don't understand these posts, I had almost a full time job through nursing school with heavy extracurriculars and I STILL had time to party on the weekends regularly.

    I think a lot of you guys psyche yourselves out or makes the work seem more difficult than it is. All you have to do is work/study smart. From what I remember the 1st semester was pretty much a joke (basic CNA stuff) and a geriatrics clinical. I paid attention during lectures, did the silly assignments, dosage tests and looked over the powerpoints. If you are reading the chapter you are wasting your time in 9% of situations. Most nursing schools teach the same because the NCLEX is the standard.

    It's not that hard but you are forcing yourself to have a perception that it is...

    I lived the frat life and still have my RN.....it's completely possible. Hell I would even say nursing was one of the less demanding majors compared to a lot of the other life sucking hard science ones. THOSE will give you no life.
    Last edit by Dranger on Oct 25, '13
  8. Visit  ChristineN profile page
    #6 1
    Quote from Dranger
    I REALLY don't understand these posts, I had almost a full time job through nursing school with heavy extracurriculars and I STILL had time to party on the weekends regularly.

    I think a lot of you guys psyche yourselves out or makes the work seem more difficult than it is. All you have to do is work/study smart. From what I remember the 1st semester was pretty much a joke (basic CNA stuff) and a geriatrics clinical. I paid attention during lectures, did the silly assignments, dosage tests and looked over the powerpoints. If you are reading the chapter you are wasting your time in 9% of situations. Most nursing schools teach the same because the NCLEX is the standard.

    It's not that hard but you are forcing yourself to have a perception that it is...

    I lived the frat life and still have my RN.....it's completely possible. Hell I would even say nursing was one of the less demanding majors compared to a lot of the other life sucking hard science ones. THOSE will give you no life.
    I am sure people are going to complain about your post, but this is how it was for me too. I worked full-time to put myself through nursing school, and I attended classes full-time. I never had time to study, since I was working 3-4 days a week. I managed to pass all my classes, have gotten glowing recommendations from instructors, and passed NCLEX first time
  9. Visit  TU RN profile page
    #7 7
    futurenursedd - you have the perfect attitude for nursing school, plain and simple. Going to school should be treated like any other occupation: 40 hours a week, sometimes with overtime. Some take more out of you than others, especially when you're new to them. A lot of the time it's all work and no play. Often you miss out on events with friends and family. The fact of the matter is nursing school is tough. I had a hard time. Many of the RNs I work with (including the ones I regard as model nurses) have expressed how tough they thought it was. The basic nursing concepts, pharmacology, pathophysiology of various disease states, interventions and treatment modalities, diagnostic and lab workups with their respective normal values, et cetera - all are approached at the same time in your education. Fully dedicating yourself to your education/studies now isn't only necessary for passing nursing school, but it will serve to provide better care for your patients and advance your career down the road. The key is how you take care of yourself along the way. As Karmatism said above, take time aside to be with your family. Even during the day when you're reading, if it's getting to be too much step away from it. Keep your eye on the prize, graduation is one step closer every day! Best wishes!

    Dranger - that post failed to add anything to this conversation but ego. In fact the language might actually have managed to put the OP, who seems to legitimately be seeking support from the AN community, down. As a male RN, I'm offended. That lack of empathy just adds to the stigma that men don't belong in the profession. I feel like I speak for the majority in saying I'd rather be taken care of by somebody who struggled through nursing school and forfeit their social life to learn than somebody who endorses the "reading the text is a waste, party on the weekends, college philosophy"
  10. Visit  WordWrangler profile page
    #8 1
    I know there are those who manage to breeze through nursing school with hardly a worry about passing exams, and believe you me, if I could manage to do the same, I sure would. Some of us don't "get it" naturally and for those of us who do have to buckle down and study our butts off every night, ignoring family and friends and pets for weeks and months on end, IT IS SOUL SUCKING. Dude, I would totally rather be kayaking and playing beer pong on the weekends, but I'm not yet graduated, so it's not an option. I'm glad for you if you can do it and if I were you and it was all so easy, I'd sure be continuing my education on up the ladder! Go you!

    For those of you like the OP who are struggling, I feel for you and I'm right here with you. It's a LOT to do and learn in a short amount of time, but that's how we get weeded out. Some of those folks who are partying every weekend aren't going to make it all the way through. Some of those folks ARE going to make it through and will make better grades than you do and you're going to kind of want to smack them upside their heads for being smarter/quicker/younger/faster than you are. But this is YOUR journey and you have to make it however YOU can make it. You can do anything for a little while and it sounds like your husband is more than willing to work with you on this.

    Take your available silence at home and put it to good use. and when you graduate, take that man on a vacation neither of you will ever forget. Best wishes!!!!
  11. Visit  LoriBSN2b profile page
    #9 2
    Quote from Dranger
    I REALLY don't understand these posts, I had almost a full time job through nursing school with heavy extracurriculars and I STILL had time to party on the weekends regularly.

    I think a lot of you guys psyche yourselves out or makes the work seem more difficult than it is. All you have to do is work/study smart. From what I remember the 1st semester was pretty much a joke (basic CNA stuff) and a geriatrics clinical. I paid attention during lectures, did the silly assignments, dosage tests and looked over the powerpoints. If you are reading the chapter you are wasting your time in 9% of situations. Most nursing schools teach the same because the NCLEX is the standard.

    It's not that hard but you are forcing yourself to have a perception that it is...

    I lived the frat life and still have my RN.....it's completely possible. Hell I would even say nursing was one of the less demanding majors compared to a lot of the other life sucking hard science ones. THOSE will give you no life.
    First semester is a joke? Maybe at your school. The assignments are intense, the testing is intense, the clinical on medsurg for my first five weeks was intense. Now I am doing clinical in "Geriatrics" as you refer to it, LTC as we refer to it, and I'm hoping to catch a breath. Nursing as a least demanding major? Hmmm....... don't think so.
  12. Visit  Dranger profile page
    #10 5
    Quote from TU RN
    Dranger - that post failed to add anything to this conversation but ego. In fact the language might actually have managed to put the OP, who seems to legitimately be seeking support from the AN community, down. As a male RN, I'm offended. That lack of empathy just adds to the stigma that men don't belong in the profession. I feel like I speak for the majority in saying I'd rather be taken care of by somebody who struggled through nursing school and forfeit their social life to learn than somebody who endorses the "reading the text is a waste, party on the weekends, college philosophy"

    Your post added nothing as well, keeping the trend going. My point is people come on here and psyche each other out for NO reason. The work is manageable or we wouldn't have millions of nurses practicing. I simple stated that anyone can do well and still have a life. Pity party sympathy posts don't do any good. Study efficiently and don't micromanage your time with schooling, it's not hard. Use CRITICAL THINKING (nursing buzzword) to determine what assignments or study allocations are worth your time. If you feel like you are being swamped in your FIRST semester you aren't doing things correctly. I don't have empathy where it isn't due. If the OP was married with 3 kids, a sky high mortgage and a non-supportive spouse then yes I would have some sympathy and maybe some empathy.

    Is there something wrong with having fun in college? Or is struggling supposed to mean something to employers or patients? Oh wait it doesn't. I had fun and got my degree like millions of other students, sorry your time wasn't so fun.
  13. Visit  Dranger profile page
    #11 2
    Quote from lorirn2b
    First semester is a joke? Maybe at your school. The assignments are intense, the testing is intense, the clinical on medsurg for my first five weeks was intense. Now I am doing clinical in "Geriatrics" as you refer to it, LTC as we refer to it, and I'm hoping to catch a breath. Nursing as a least demanding major? Hmmm....... don't think so.

    Ok I will bite, I am not going to have a ego measuring contest with what school is harder. Nursing schools especially at the BSN level are almost all relatively the same and if it matters my school had the most clinical hours in the state. But that's really inconsequential to anything being discussed, but hey I didn't bring school difficulty up.

    Geriatrics isn't a "bad" word and is in fact a sub specialty of internal med and a NP specialty.....

    I never said it was the least but it certainly isn't the hardest but I hear most of the complaining from nursing when I know other majors put just as much or more time in labs or lectures. Had a buddy in college who was a biochem major who never saw the light of day and never complained at all because he knew his goal. He's a resident physician now....
  14. Visit  futurenursedd profile page
    #12 1
    I don't know where you go to school, but from everyone I've talked to and my own experience first semester is one of the hardest. Getting used to the testing style and trying to break old testing habits is one of the biggest challenges for most people. Maybe the content isn't the most difficult, but it is very hard breaking old test taking habits and mindsets.
    I've tried going to school and partying all the time and that didn't work out for me. This time I am doing it right I want to learn and fully understand everything that I am taught. Unfortunately that means sacrificing most of my "partying time". I want to be amazing at what I do.

    To everyone else thanks for letting me know that I am not alone. It seems like none of our friends ever wanted to do anything when I was completing my pre-reqs, but as soon as school starts everyone wants to hang out. That makes it so much harder. I am so lucky to have a fiance that supports me in what I do and understands that I have to spend all my time studying. It's just hard trying to adjust. Seeing that he works his butt off and gets rewarded by going out to have fun and I work my off and am rewarded with more work. I will admit the silence helps me get more work done, but when I take a study break I do get quite lonely.

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