Issues with another classmate

  1. Hi I am an LVN student and I am currently having issues with other classmates. Its hard to understand when all of this started. There are 3 girls in my clinical site and it seems they don't like me, which is fine but they are trying to get me into trouble with my instructors. Wednesday morning we were at clinicals and I was accused of being ugly and screaming at Jane Doe because she was relaying a message our instructor had her come tell me. Well the message was NEVER relayed, so I don't understand when did I scream at her or was ugly to her when we NEVER talked. I feel I am being accused of something I didn't do. Later that day our instructor gave Jane Doe some worksheets for us to do and its so weird how everyone got the worksheets except for me. We are all in different units but she's in the same unit I am. She knew where I was at. I really believe she did not give the sheets to me on purpose so I wouldn't have them. It really bothered me. When I came home later that evening I got an ugly e-mail from her saying "what a bitter person I am and I have issues I need to get over". I am like so confused, I don't know where she is coming from. I thought I got along with everyone, I thought everything was great. She has had problems with other class mates in the past, but those people are no longer in the program. There were kicked out, I never found out why or what exactly happened but I know she was involved. I know she goes out with one of our instructors and they are drinking buddies, which I think is unprofessional but that's neither here nor there. I don't know what to do. I've talk to my instructor and she said she would keep a closer look on what's going on. I really think they are trying to get me into trouble. I don't understand. Since that day she has been sending me e-mails like phrases from the bible, and things like that. This is just so weird to me. I don't know if I should respond to her e-mails or print them and show the director of the school. All this just sounds so childish to me, and we're adults. There shouldn't be problems like this.

    I'd appreaciate any advice
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  2. 10 Comments

  3. by   Maisie
    I would collect all the proof possible just in case.
  4. by   MonkeyRN
    I too would print all the emails and keep them. It already sounds like harassment at this point. I wouldn't reply to the emails. Just try to steer clear of her as much as possible. If she doesn't keep escalating the situation then talk to the director.
  5. by   Nikkik163
    This girl sounds very immature. I would definitely print out the emails just in case you would ever need them, but I would not reply back to any of them. I just wouldn't give her any satisfaction at all. Just go on being yourself and if you have to come into contact with her....just be friendly. After awhile she will see that things aren't bothering you and get bored of acting that way. Sorry you have to deal with something like this..
  6. by   missninaRN
    I agree. Print out the emails with full headers. Keep them in your email account as well. Do not delete them.
    You are being harrassed. You can bock her from your email account, but I think it might be better to let her keep digging her own grave.
    This will either die out when she realizes that it's not getting the desired effect out of you (because you are not going to give her the satisfaction of seeing you react to this childishness), or it will escalate, in which case you will need those emails as evidence when you bring a harassment complaint against her. If the emails become threatening, report her to her internet provider as well as your school. She sounds unstable. Not a good thing for a job that puts us in a position of power over helpless patients, is it?
  7. by   mariedoreen
    Based on what you've said this is what I would advise:

    You need to sit down and document everything that has happened. Include dates, times, witnesses (if any) and any conversations you have had with instructors to bring situations of concern to their attention. Also document what the instructors said in response. You should not respond to any of this person's e-mails but instead keep a hard copy of everything she sends you and add it to the documentation you're compiling. In addition to the instructors that are involved by necessity you should also be discussing this situation with your advisor. If you are not getting any resolution, ie things are escalating or you feel that the instructors are not addressing the situation or you feel that the harassment is getting dangerous or emotionally damaging you should meet again with that advisor and begin the process of moving up the chain of command over the instructors' heads. It should also be mentioned that returning any harassment in kind, verbally or otherwise, should be completely avoided on your part.
  8. by   IMustBeCrazy
    danger danger!!!

    this person sounds like she has some sort of paranoid psychotic personality disorder, and is experiencing some religiosity delusions as well. depending on whether she truly did have a hand in the academic demise of the other schoolmates you mentioned, she may also be sociopathic. keep well away from this person, the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up for you, even while reading this.

    as someone else said:

    1) turn your headers on your email if you haven't already done so, so that the senders' ip address is evident and will be attached to their email address. you won't be able to see this generally unless you turn on the headers. it is an option in many email programs such as hotmail or yahoo accounts.

    in hotmail accounts for example, you can turn on full headers by clicking on the "options" hotkey in the upper right corner after you log into your mailbox, then clicking on the "mail" hotkey on the left side of the page. from there, click on "mail display settings" and click the radio button under "message headers" to full rather than basic.

    2) print a hard copy of all this weirdo email and put it in a safe place, just in case something should 'happen' to your email account.

    3) write a complete narrative of what has been going on with this person, use specific dates and times and teachers/classes where you have experienced problems as well as documentation of any conversations/phone calls etc you have received.

    4) run, don't walk, to the dean/director of your nursing program. let them know that you are being harassed by this student, provide copies of emails, and your written statement of what has happened. be very clear on this fact to whomever you speak to: "i fear for my physical safety, and i will do whatever is necessary, including filing a police report and pressing charges, to ensure that i will not be further harassed by this person. i expect your support in ensuring my physical safety while on campus, and ensuring a safe and harassment-free learning environment." and, be prepared to follow through. if it comes down to filing a police report, don't bother with campus police, file a report with the department in your local area. there have been, unfortunately, many many reports that have been mishandled or 'shelved' by campus police across the country that have had disastrous results.

    i truly wish you well.

    ~imbc
  9. by   twinmommy+2
    Definatly keep the instructor informed of whats going on. Perhaps ask her if you can be the one to hand out the work sheets this time so that everyone gets them. Personally, I would probably confront this person and ask her whats going on just to be professional. If that goes sour, then take it up the chain of command. Student first (only if you feel safe doing so), clinical instructor, professor, department head, dean in that order. And make a log of every harrasing interaction with this individual too.
  10. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    There were kicked out, I never found out why or what exactly happened but I know she was involved.
    If you don't know why or what exactly happened, then you do not know for sure that she was involved.

    I'd keep record of the emails. Don't delete them.
  11. by   GrnHonu99
    I definetly agree with the others, keep the emails and go straight to the director of your program.

    I also think it is unprofessional for a student and a prof. to "be drinking buddies"...yikes!

    People like Jane Doe often only feel good about themselves when they make others miserable, just realize what she wants and dont give it to her! Ignore her...good luck
  12. by   houstonstudent
    Thank you so much for your advice. I printed out the e-mails and worked my up to the chaind of command. I felt the best thing to do was switch clinical sites. My instructors are fully aware of what is going on. I never responded to any of the e-mails or looked her way during class. The e-mails have stopped, thank God! I feel much better now going to my clinicals tomorrow. I was really worried, I would just hate anything to go wrong. This is our last semester .

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