I'm having a problem c my clinical instructor. I don't know what to do. I do know that I am seriously frustrated and feel like I cannot do anything to please her. All of my previos instructors have complemented me and given me much direction. This woman however is driving me nuts. She speaks to us as if we're beneath her and she has no appreciation for a life outside of nursing school
. Every day of clinical I get so nervous I feel sick to my stomach. In preconference she always starts with me, asking me what to expect for my pt. and the S/S to assess, and this and that. I give her my answers and explainations and they are never good enough. Her comment is usually, "Yes, but that's not what I'm looking for. What else?" I give every answer I can think of while I'm sitting there about to throw up. Then another student chimes in saying "swelling" when I said "edema" and takes the credit. I now look unprepared and uneducated. I've had to prove myself in this program many times. I'm fine with that. But I honestly think this instructor is trying to make an example out of me and finally, it's running me down. My NPW's and theoreticals are always covered in red ink, and so I sit longer and longer to improve on my weak points. She writes "improved" on them but gives me a "U" on my evaluation tool. This goes on my record and could give me an unpassing grade for this rotation. I'm scared and want to cry. But I can't let them see that in me. I overheard her during lunch. She was talking about screening students out cause they can't handle it.
I'm sorry guys. I didn't think it would be easy, I'm up for the fight, but I don't think it should be so demeaning. I'm here for my patients. I'm here to help people and maybe save a life in the process. I want to be there for people that are scared, sad, and in need of medical intervention and someone to listen. In school they talk about how to put judgment aside and be caring. Why are they so disrespectful to us?
If anyone has advice for me to stop getting choked up in front of her and stop doubting myself, please share. It seems as though I'm the only one that feels like I study me a** off, I give up spending time with my husband and step-daughter, I gave up my wedding b/c it was too much time from schoolwork. I am not fresh out of high school and I don't live with my parents. I pay my own bills and thave been on my own since 15 yrs old. I give up a lot because I want to know my stuff and be a good nurse for my patients, why doesn't she see that? Why are they so judgmental?!
Sorry for the venting.
May 1, '05
Maybe she's just trying to rattle you (for whatever sadistic reason). Do you think it would work to your advantage to go to her? I think that would show that you aren't scared of her & that you are interested in doing your best. Go to her office and confidently
say "It seems like you feel I've been missing the mark with my work. I've usually do pretty well in my classes so it's really concerning me. What would you like to see me doing that I'm missing?"
Never let her see you sweat... she will probably prey on you more if she thinks she's getting to you... let it be like water off a duck's back & prove her wrong by staying busy at clinical, doing a great job in your work & not giving her anything to go on.
Also, you said at preconference she always starts with you... could you turn the table and raise your hand to ask her a question or two right away? I would make them intelligent, thoughtful questions, but she isn't going to spend more time on you if you just already took up time asking her questions, and again it shows you aren't scared.
Don't know if that's any help, but I hope things are better for you! Good luck
Last edit by mitchsmom on May 1, '05