Instructions for nursing exams(very funny)

  1. Okay here it is wht we all have been waiting for. The best test taking strategy.
    Please read all the instructions carefully before begging the exam.
    1. If you are a recovering alcoholic, do not attempt this exam.
    2. If you are carrying a concealed weapon, discard it immediately, then proceed with the exam.
    3. If you have PMS: Good! At least you have a fighting chance.
    4. If this is your First exam, take a moment and reflect. You are about to enter into the experience of a lifetime.
    5. If this is your Second exam, you are likely to be experiencing your first panic attack. This is normal. Just breath deeply.
    6. If this is your third exam, you should have your coping mechanisms ironed out by now. Resort to them at this time.
    7. If this is your Fourth exam, you have already begun psychoanalysis. Research indicates feelings of inadequacy and stupidity are temporary, You should be able to resume your normal Adls six to eight months after you graduate.
    8. Remember, the narcotic cabinet is kept licked at all times.
    9. Prior to attempting the examm assess your ability to remember your name and your significant others name. If you cannot remember, don't panic. Quietly return your test to your instructor and leave the room. You will find other nursing students in the hall with the same problem. Collaborate with them and all you will eventually remember your names.
    10. If you have prayed for the assistance of God's angels during a past exam, don't lose faith. It's just that they don't know the answer either.
    Some helpful hints
    If you are sure you can reference the anser to a question, with author, page and paragraph.
    remember: It depends on the situation. You may not be correct.
    If you don't know the anser to a question, don't leave it blank. You're no worsse off then if you did know the answer.
    On the questions that have two possible answers, choose either. You haven't developed critical thinking skills yet, so don't pretend that you have. It just makes you angry when your wrong.
    If you finish the exam and your pretty confident about your answers, go back and change all your answers.
    If you hear a little voice inside your head suggesting one of the answers....don't listen! It's just psychosis.
    Everything you ever needed to know about humility, you will have learned in nursing school.

    :roll
    This was written by BRIGID NAVE, GN
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  2. 6 Comments

  3. by   RNIAM
    oops, sorry there are a few spelling errors. Too tired to fix them
  4. by   Buttercup
    LOL :roll, this is cute. Don't worry about the typos...it actually made a few funnier...


    8. Remember, the narcotic cabinet is kept licked at all times.
  5. by   Mkue
    Very Funny Rhona 1, I sent it to some nursing friends THANKS !

    :chuckle
  6. by   Mkue
    Originally posted by Buttercup
    LOL :roll, this is cute. Don't worry about the typos...it actually made a few funnier...


    8. Remember, the narcotic cabinet is kept licked at all times.
    YES, I didn't know they LICK them first..lol it actually did make it funnier !:chuckle
  7. by   RNIAM
    LOL, that was funny.I didn't realize that I wrote licked.
  8. by   Love-A-Nurse
    rhona, these were funny and i especially liked #9! :chuckle

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