I need encouragement or i may quit school

[SN bbgrl]

Ok im am very upset with myself to the point of feeling i should drop out of nursing school. Although my grades are great, i have had a difficult time with my clinical instructor (i wrote about him previously). In short, this man teaches through humiliation and intimidation. I didnt think i could bear with him, but i did stick out the semester. Well, until the last day when he gave us back our clinical evaluations. Granted, i made a big error because i incorrectly closed an unused syringe - my bad, i will accept the blame. However, he did this same little "test" on my entire clinical class of 10 people, and 7 of the 10 closed this same syringe incorrectly as i did. The problem? He chose to put this on my evaluation in the "safety" threads and say that because of this, i "minimally" fulfill the expectations. I felt absolutely horrible. As i said, i earned this but the catch is, out of the 7 of us who did this wrong, i was the only one who had it brought out on her clinical eval and i now fear that my future clinical instructors will judge me incompetent. Anyway, i needed to vent because i really feel terrible right now and i feel like i will never redeem myself. Any thoughts, suggestions, words of encouragement? I would really love the support. Thanks all!!!

B

[success1]

SUCCESS= 10% Inspiration 90% Perspiration

Keep your head up you can do it!

[Daytonite, BSN, RN]

Dear Daytonite - i appreciate your input, but let me clarify - i did NOT go and ask everybody what they got on their evals, nor did i mention what i got on mine. This information was shared in our carpool (i kept my mouth shut because i did not want anybody to know). I also want to point out that this instructor has bad-mouthed other students to me - which again, i have kept confidential. Also, the instructor spoke about his "test" and who passed and did not pass at post conference, so we all know who did what.

The term is over. You passed, right? Enjoy your time off and get ready for the next term. If you feel this instructor needs to be reported to his supervisor, then report him.

[*Blessed2BaNRS*]

Hey SN bbgrl,

Like everyone else has posted, you passed. Granted, it may not have been the way that you would have liked, but YOU DID PASS!! You may get into your second semester and find that your next CI totally loves you!! That is how things seem to go in NS. One semester you get the crappy, hateful instructor and the next, you end up with a glowing report. It all depends on the personalities of the parties involved.

At my last job, I busted my *orifice* off to do my work to the best that I could, and my students loved me (I was a special ed assistant) along with the other students that I dealt with throughout the school, yet when it came time for yearly evals, I kept getting bashed. I could not figure out why, because the other people that I worked with always said how good I was with the kids, etc. I even received great evals from the principal when she came to do walk throughs. Finally, after the 3rd year of asking what I was doing so wrong, the principal sat down with me to share all of the evals written about me (even though she wasn't supposed to) and low and behold, it was because of the main teacher that I worked with. Even though I had great evals from EVERY OTHER person that I worked with, this one teacher had written such bad things because she didn't like me. The principal had a meeting with us both and demanded an explanation of why the teacher wrote what she did about things I supposedly done, and I was able to tell my side of the story and point out the discrepancies enough that the principal found out the teacher was lying. Needless to say, I ended up resigning to go to school, but not before I turned her and two other assistants in for physical and mental abuse of the students. Long story short, the teacher didn't write good evals because I wasn't participating in the hitting and name calling, so she was trying to get rid of me so they wouldn't get into trouble. It ended up backfiring on her due to the fact that the others that I worked with had none of the problems that she wrote about, and I questioned why I was getting "minimal competancies" on my performance.

Sorry to write so much, but my point is this: What one person thinks about you may not be what others see. It is the culmination of what everyone sees that shows who you are. DO NOT LET JUST ONE PERSON BRING YOU DOWN. There is always one bad apple in the bunch!!! Keep your chin up, start 2nd semster with a fresh outlook and do your best. Like what was posted above, C=nurse. Most people will tell you that though they started NS with a 4.0, they didn't end with a 4.0. But they passed and went on to make a GREAT NURSE!! You will too. :icon_hug: to you~

[SN bbgrl]

You all are wonderful - thank you for your replies and support. I will just have to buck up and work harder next semester- i am just indulging in a little pity pary right now and cant see the forest for the trees. I wish you all the best and feel free to contact my email!!! :loveya:

[militaryspouse98]

Hello there, well I will tell you dont give up as well. I am in my third semester and my last semester I had a clinical instructor that was very intimidating and neg to all of us for most of our clinical. She would drill us as if we were going to be doctors and actually I am glad she did. I learned alot that helped me on tests. But she never said encouraging words when we did things great. It was always you can do better or a different way. She was a control freak. Anyway, the last two clinicals we had a different instructor because the first had other obligations. It was a totally different experience with her. She was very positive and she would teach us techniques to make things easier. She actually put on my eval that I had very good skills and she was impressed. So its all in the instructor. If you are encouraged and praised for your good work then you will have a positive attitude in your clinical site. Maybe you will get a different instructor next semester.. It makes all the difference. Dont give up though.. I think we all have come too far in getting into a program alone to just throw in the towel. They will have to pull me out kicking and screaming..You can do it..

[SN bbgrl]

I think my other great fear is that this negative evaluation is going to haunt me when i try to get a job. I may try to talk to the professor after summer, once he has had a chance to cool done and me too and see if i can do anything to have him amend that. All he can do is say nol.

[BoonersmomRN]

I don't see how the evaluation is going to haunt you. I have never had anyone ask to look at my evaluations nor have I ever heard of any hospital asking to see a student's clinical evaluation. I don't even see how that would be all that important to them...you are a STUDENT and you are LEARNING...you PASSED- THATS what matters.

The guy sounds like a real bummer...but it's time to buck up and march forward. Tomorrow is another day. I don't mean to sound harsh..I really don't...so please don't take it that way.

[cute_cabbage2005]

My first clinical experience was a nightmare. It was my first semester. Out of the 12 clinical students, 4 of us quit the program. I almost became a victim. This instructor was very critical and harsh. She used intimidation as a tactic to teach. But I stuck with it. In the end, she was fired by the nursing school. So dont give up.....hang in there!!!

[SN bbgrl]

Thanks Booner - i just thought that new hires have to use their school as a reference since they dont obviously have a previous employer in nursing to reference. And no, i dont feel your reply is harsh - i appreciate it. My mom told me the same things, and my nursing school friends say to let me next clinical instructor make up her own mind when she sees my skills.

[Daytonite, BSN, RN]

i think my other great fear is that this negative evaluation is going to haunt me when i try to get a job. i may try to talk to the professor after summer, once he has had a chance to cool done and me too and see if i can do anything to have him amend that. all he can do is say nol.

i would be very surprised if this kind of incident got reported on a job recommendation. and, even if it did, that a potential employer would even consider it in making a decision about hiring you.

i was a nurse manager in a rather large hospital that hired new grads from local nursing programs and worked very closely with the nurse recruiter in hiring as well as being on the committee that managed the new grad orientation program. i saw the recommendations that came in from the nursing schools. we were looking for behavior characteristics. hospitals know that new grads haven't had much practice at doing any nursing skills. we knew that you don't know how to use the equipment. this is not a secret. what we were interested in was the new grad's attitude toward learning and mastering skills. we wanted to know if they were the kind of student that sat in the back of the class or was the last one to volunteer to do a procedure. did they have a positive attitude or a negative one? were they argumentative or willing to listen to criticism and correct their practice? did they demonstrate attempts to improve their practice or indicate a blasé attitude about their performance flaws? we all have used new equipment incorrectly for the first time. that's not a sin. and, i doubt very much that it's going to cost you a job.

drop the issue. i wouldn't provoke any further confrontation with this instructor. it's not worth it. he's a jerk and he's not nurturing. he doesn't know how to constructively correct and/or discipline effectively. move on. you're going to meet lots of jerks over the years. they have just as much right to act like jerks as you do to worry incessantly. in the context of rights and wrongs in the workplace, this is miniscule and not worth losing sleep over. save your emotional responses for something that really counts--like the first time you have to call a code blue on one of your patients and you want to beat yourself up afterward when you remember all the things you "could have" done that you didn't.

[WDWpixieRN, RN]

i was a nurse manager in a rather large hospital that hired new grads from local nursing programs and worked very closely with the nurse recruiter in hiring as well as being on the committee that managed the new grad orientation program. i saw the recommendations that came in from the nursing schools. we were looking for behavior characteristics. hospitals know that new grads haven't had much practice at doing any nursing skills. we knew that you don't know how to use the equipment. this is not a secret. what we were interested in was the new grad's attitude toward learning and mastering skills. we wanted to know if they were the kind of student that sat in the back of the class or was the last one to volunteer to do a procedure. did they have a positive attitude or a negative one? were they argumentative or willing to listen to criticism and correct their practice? did they demonstrate attempts to improve their practice or indicate a blasé attitude about their performance flaws?

i'd just like to say as a student who just finished her first semester, it's so encouraging to read words like this!! i am one of those people who are very hard on themselves and used to picking up things quickly. fast-forward to nursing school, along with a life outside of school, and sometimes i feel like the biggest idiot. factor in a couple of instructors who have the patience of a flea, and one's self-confidence can take a pretty good beating.

now, counter that with a great second-semester clinical instructor and finding out you are actually learning (remembering) a few things, as well as words of wisdom like yours, and we are once again inspired and ready to take a few more baby steps forward.

also, i started an internship this week and it has been so amazing to realize that my preceptor does not think i should know everything right now. my biggest fear was that she would start handing me iv and foley equipment and expect me to go start these things!! jeepers, i got checked out in lab on those skills, but have yet to actually do them on a living human being!! my preceptor explained how we would work up to those. it made my first day so much easier and relaxed -- and less panicked -- to know she actually had some empathy with where i was.

i wish for everyone to have a manager and preceptor with these types of understandings and skills.

thanks again, daytonite!!

[al7139, ASN, RN]

Always remember:C=RN! I HATED my second year instructors, they sound alot like your last clinical instructor. I was not the only one in my class who felt this way. Even though we would hear regularly how terrible we were doing, and were reminded that they had the power to pass or fail us, I did graduate. I think that alot of the intimidation is to see who can stand up to the pressure. In my last semester of school, I seriously thought about quitting because of how we were treated. My friends wouldn't let me, and supported me through some difficult stuff that happened (in addition to school). Just know that you passed, and grades aren't everything in nursing school (I had a 4.0 GPA until I started). I passed, graduated, and the instructor that I had the most problems with in school made a point of telling me at my graduation how happy she was to see me graduate, and that she felt I would be an excellent nurse. Go figure!

Keep a stiff upper lip, do your work, study hard and you will be fine!

Amy