I can't seem to move on.....

  1. The unfortuante jhust happened to me this past monday. A day I will never forget. I failed my medication administraiton demo. And it wasn't like I didn't konw what I was doing, I made stupid mistakes. I did all the steps perfectly when I was practicing weeks before. I even LEARNED not memorized the reasons why you would give this type of med or where it is supposed top be adm. When it came down to it I freaked. I was unsuccessful. Now I am suppose to repeat nursing therapeutics mgmt. and prct. next sem. Which fortunately I am not kicked out of the program, but I am placed under the new curriculum. God willing, I will be taking the therapeutics/clinical, with pharm, nursing of older adults, and some other course that our program added.

    I feel like a part of me was stolen. I can't tell my father because he wouldn't understand. My father unfortunately, never got the opportunity to finish school. He was the one that pushed me to go into nursing. I have no problem going to school for it, but more and more I go through wit it I find myself lost and unhappy. My grades are good but am barely passing therapeutics. I want to become a nurse for my dad and b/c I want to keep a promise I made my grandfather. I know nursing is a career that is so rewarding. It is a great career if you want to start a family, with its flexibilty, salary, and other perks. There is always room to grow and learn. But I have always wanted to be involved in the media. I always thought that maybe after nursing school I can go back to school to pursue a broadcast/journalism degree. I'm still young, why not. Then I ask myself Will still have the drive to go back.

    I cannot tell my dad that I will be graduating six months later than my anticipated graduation date. He will be ashamed of me and see me as a complete idiot. My father is the last person in the world I would want to think of me that way. On the otherh and, I pray and ask God for help. I ask him to give me strength and a clear mind to help me understand the material. I've also thought that this current situation is perhaps God's way form e to make sure I can take care of home before I go into this demanding program. My father is a single parent. He works two jobs trying to make ends meet. I have tow younger siblings, one who is getting ready to go to high school. My paternal grandmother also lives with us, she is a blessing. I work and go to school and help my father care for my siblings and my grandmother. I see how my father can't seem to handle everything by himself, he has been easily forgetful. One factor are the tragedies that he has experienced, he lost his father in 95 at the age of 65, then a a couple years later his brother to suicide, and that same year an ugly separation with my mother.

    I know why my father want to graduate with a degree in nursing. He does not want me to be in the same position he is in. He wants me to be able to live a better life and be able to provide the same for my own children in the future. May this time off will allow me to help get my father rebuild mentally and spiritually. But I just don't know where to start, and how I can get over my setback.
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  2. 9 Comments

  3. by   GeminiTwinRN
    I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. My heart goes out to you.

    I can't help but feel that your struggle is more to do with disappointing your father and family than yourself.. and that is pretty telling about whether or not nursing is actually the career that you have chosen or that it has been chosen for you.

    If a career in media is what you really want to do, do you not think your father would support you in your choice? It would seem that his pride in you would be the same whether your degree were in nursing or in journalism. I hope that you are able to go to your father and tell him of your dreams and that you are surprised by his reaction of support rather than disappointment.

    I am a parent, and I can tell you that no matter what, he loves you. He will support you whether you graduate as anticipated, or 6 months later. He will also support you and love you no matter the road you take in your schooling.

    ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
  4. by   Lisa CCU RN
    You should never do anything just to please someone else.

    I hate to be blunt, but what happens when your father passes, then who will you have to please then?

    Normally, I wouldn't give advise like this, but you said yourself that you want to go into media.

    You have only one life to live--live it doing what you want to do
  5. by   jahra
    Hi ! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
    My suggestion is to continue with nursing school, and finish.
    Do this for yourself. Every field that we try to learn often has
    difficult areas for us. After you finish nursing, you can work and
    pursue your dream of a career in media.

    Here is a link for you---this nurse was the first health reporter
    in our area--she has since gone on to an outstanding career.
    re:Cathy ray. http://www.ktnv.com/global/Story.asp?s=5527013

    http://www.nurseweek.com/news/features/02-04/tv_web.asp

    Best wishes to you in all you do. Your Dad will be very proud of you.
    Last edit by jahra on Oct 21, '06
  6. by   puggymae
    I am sure that a dad who wants the best for his child would also understand that his child is only human and can make mistakes. I would not be ashamed to tell him the truth. You need to - you can't hide this, it will come out into the open some time. AND this is a hard thing to get over. It is the death of a hope and a dream and it is as painful as an actual death. Give yourself a little time to get over it. Hang in there, I am sure better days will be ahead of you.
  7. by   KellieNurse06
    You have to do what makes YOU happy.......you are 22 years old & have a long life ahead of you....
    My grandmother told me that her mother (my great grandmother) always wanted to be a nurse BUT her father wanted her to be a teacher...so thats what she did...became a teacher.......hated it & always regretted it too.......but she never told her father that because she wanted him to be proud of her plus back then you did what your parents told you & expected of you.
    She would be the one going & caring for all the ladies in the neighborhood who had babies & also caring for anyone who was sick in the neighborhood because she loved doing it .
    So you do what you want so you will have no regrets.........I can understand your dad not wanting you to have to struggle so he wanted you to become something that would allow you to be successful....but does it matter if you aren't happy with this? One thing you have to do in life is be happy regardless of what anyone else thinks or feels......you only have one life & it's not a dress rehearsal...it's the real thing.
    If you want to finish nursing school just to make dad proud then do it.......but also make sure you pursue that journalism field you want badly as well.....so you will have no regrets..........good luck....
  8. by   RN BSN 2009
    Hi. I'm sorry about your problems, but I think that if he flunked out of school, he wouldnt make a big deal out of you having to add one extra semester. As long as you finish, right?
  9. by   firstyearstudent
    How far are your from graduating? If you're close to finishing up, you might just go ahead if you can gather up any kind of enthusiasm then go back to school immediately to do what you really want to do. If you're still far off, you should switch majors right away. Is your dad paying for school? If so, you might have to deal with him cutting you off. Otherwise, you need to live your life for yourself, not to please your father.
  10. by   colleennurse
    You really need to tell your Dad what happened. I think he would be more upset if you tried to hide it and then it came out later, and I am sure that it will eventually. How would you be able to hide this? Maybe if Nursing isn't for you this happened as an opportunity to tell your Dad that this isn't what you really want in life. I just can't imagine having nursing as a career if you don't want to do it. Good luck to you, if your Dad loves you as much as it sounds (and I am sure that he does) he will be glad that you are being honest and open with him. Keep us posted!
  11. by   Gift.Fr.Virgo12
    I would like to thank each and everyone of you for giving such great advice. It really eases my mnid that there are individuals who are willing to give a little of their time to help someone. I am really taking each day one day at a time. I am trying to get over it first, so i can prepare myself when confronting my father with the bad news. I am definitely looking into taking a class or to in braodcast journalism next sem, just to test the waters. JAHRA, thank you for that link, it really helped me become more motivated and inspired. I will keep everyone posted on my progress. Much love and thanks so much.

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