I am scared and don't know what to do.... HELP PLEASE!

  1. Ok this is the thing..... I go back to school tomorrow from winter break.... well let me tell you what happened over break, i took care of my grandpa who helped raise me well he died Dec 20..... i am heartbroken to begin with but scared that when i go back to school we are clinical at a nursing home... i am scared that i am going to lose it when I get there... i have already been there before break so i know how bad some of these residents are... i am just sacred that with this still being so fresh to me... that i will break down... i have never lost someone so close to me.... i am petrified i am not going to mmake it b/c of this! what should i do? am i being silly? i still have nights that i just cry myself to sleep i miss him so much.... i just need some help or encouragement or something i dont' even know anymore! thanks in advance!
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  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   bsnrnoh
    Talk to you clinical instructor the first chance you get and tell her/him what you put in your post. For the most part they are there to help you. I also had some trying times during school and my instructors were very helpful and understanding and this is good practice for when life gets difficult while you are working and you need to go to management to get time off or help with assignments.


    Good luck, don't give up, you can make it
  4. by   NJRNin06
    First, Im so sorry for your loss, I can remember how hard it was when I lost my poppy. Being in situations that remind you of lost loved ones is never easy, especially because of your time frame, in this case. Just remember that you helped towards the end of his life, and now its your turn to help others out as they near the end of theirs. Im not telling you it will be easy, and believe me there are going to be times when u feel like breaking down, but if nursing is really what you want in life, don't give up. Empathy is one of the main features of a nurse, and now more than ever you may help families deal with the decline of loved ones, as you can sympathize with their own feelings. Best of luck to you, I hope you can stick with it, and again sorry for your loss
    ~D
  5. by   Altra
    Please accept my sincere condolences in the loss of your grandfather, I'm so very sorry.

    <<hugs>>

    This is all very fresh and painful for you right now, and that's to be expected. There's absolutely nothing wrong with grieving.

    You'll have to see how things go for you in clinicals -- while there's no question it will be difficult, you may find that you fare better than you think you will. My close friend lost her grandfather last semester. She has always intended to pursue a career in hospice nursing, but that day she was overwhelmed with her loss and told me that she didn't know how she could ever help families deal with death on a regular basis. Well ... after some time has passed and we are ever closer to graduation, she is now more determined than ever to work with patients and families who are facing end-of-life issues. And believe me, she will be an AWESOME nurse.

    Please let us know how you're doing. Peace to you & your family.
  6. by   janetrette
    i am very sorry about the loss of your grandfather. i, myself, can related to this situation because i loss my grandpa 2 yrs ago. taking care of him while going to school and dealing with emotional stress was overwhelming but i keep on going.
    i know that my grandpa will be proud of me becoming a nurse so it kept me going.

    as a future nurse yourself, you are not foolish to think about the emotional stress working in a nursing home. we all must understand what we feel and our views before going into the settings. how i like to think about when taking care of patient is that they are someone's grandpa, father, son, baby, and friend.

    it takes a lot to go through nursing school but more courage to continue to the field of nursing.

    in life there are many pebbles and steps but i believe that if there's a will then there's a way to the stairs....
  7. by   Thunderwolf
    I'm sorry to hear about grandpa. Talk to your instructor. This is a tough time for you. Talk about it, get it out, honor him in little ways during your nursing rotations.
    I wish you the very best. You are in my prayers.
  8. by   lisamc1RN
    I'm so sorry for your loss.
  9. by   wonderbee
    Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your grandfather. I lost my mother mid-way through my first semester and can relate to what you're going through. Perhaps you are frightened about whether you are going to break down and you might even be questioning nursing as a career at this point. Just want you to know, I've been there and got past it, even if it did mean leaving the floor in tears during those early weeks.

    Although it was heart rending, I do believe it made me a better student nurse and PCT. In my eyes, every elderly patient is my mom and gets the same care I would want for her. Once the initial pain subsides, perhaps you will feel the same for your patients and they will benefit from the gentle hands and caring heart that sprung from this painful loss.
  10. by   mariessas_mom
    I am so sorry for your loss. I am about to start my second semester of Nursing school. I received my much anticipated acceptance letter 2 weeks after my dad passed away. My clinical instructor also works weekends in ICU and took care of my dad when he first came out of emergency surgery. Now that was a reminder, learning from someone who took care of my dad in his last few days. For me, having school to throw myself into helped immensely. My dad would not have wanted me to put my life on hold.

    I did break down a few times but got through it and done really well my first semester. I wish you the best of luck!
  11. by   Maggie Ryan
    Quote from ileany11
    Ok this is the thing..... I go back to school tomorrow from winter break.... well let me tell you what happened over break, i took care of my grandpa who helped raise me well he died Dec 20..... i am heartbroken to begin with but scared that when i go back to school we are clinical at a nursing home... i am scared that i am going to lose it when I get there... i have already been there before break so i know how bad some of these residents are... i am just sacred that with this still being so fresh to me... that i will break down... i have never lost someone so close to me.... i am petrified i am not going to mmake it b/c of this! what should i do? am i being silly? i still have nights that i just cry myself to sleep i miss him so much.... i just need some help or encouragement or something i dont' even know anymore! thanks in advance!

    My prayers :angel2: are with you know quite well what you are going through, I lost my Mom 2 1/2 months ago and I am very depressed about it she was my best friend and I feel so lost w/out her. I am suppose to start the Nursing Program 1/10/05 but I'm not sure if I can make it through it my mind is not where is should be .

    I do know going back to my old job depresses me even more (Sales Correspondent) and thinking about doing something I always wanted to do like Nursing gives me something to go on for, so if Nursing is where your heart is I think you'll be less happy if you don't continue, whatever you decide I'll pray for you. :angel2:

    Maggie
  12. by   mariedoreen
    I too am sorry for what you're going through right now. I relate because losing my dad to cancer was an overwhelming experience for me. The semester after he passed away I took Lit and every paper I wrote was about death and grief. My instructor seemed to understand I was working through some overpowering emotions luckily. I did my CNA rotation in an LTC facility a year and a half after his death and met a resident who reminded me exactly of my dad. It made me miss him so much and I couldn't help it, I began to tear up and then cry. I had to excuse myself and go to the break room to get my composure but my instructor understood and gave me a squeeze when I later came back out to the floor. Even a few weeks ago (3 years after his death) when I had to choose my community clinical assignment I was surprised to discover that I wanted nothing to do with home hospice... still just a little too painful I found.

    I agree with the others. Let your instructor know about your concerns and just do the best you can. Grieving is a process... one that moves along at its own rate... in time it does get easier simply because the raw emotions are not so close to the surface.

    God Bless.
  13. by   Tweety
    My sincere condolences.

    I think it would be understanding to get a bit emotional in caring for people similar to your grandfather. I'm sure he is proud of you and want you to be the best nurse that you can be.
  14. by   Heather, SN
    I am so sorry for your loss. I can definately relate to your feelings and fears. My grandmother had passed away 1 week before I started nursing school and 2 months later I had my clinicals on the same unit of the hospital that she died on. I pulled my instructor aside and told her what had happened and she said just remind me not to give you a patient in the room where your grandmother passed away. My instructor was very understanding. By the end of the 6 week rotation on that floor I was brave enough to go into the room my grandmother passed away in. It was hard, but I knew it was something that I had to do.

    Heather

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