How do you do it parents?

  1. Any tips for getting through nursing school with no support system (at least in body) to get through school? I will be going into school with two children age 5 and 3 with no husband, no grandma, and no auntie. I do have the option to leave one of my children with my mother at least for the first semester while things are the roughest, but I find this thought terribly depressing, so I'm not doing that. I have a schedule planned like this.

    5:00 am get up

    6:00 am have kids at daycare

    7:00 am either be in lab or class or start studying

    5:20 pm I will be out of my last class and it doesn't last
    this long everyday; on Tuesdays I have no class, skills lab, or practicum
    to attend, so this is all day study day, Tuesday would also be laundry day.

    6:00 pm pick up kids

    6:30-7:00 eat dinner and spend time with kids possible homework for my daughter( a kindergartener)

    7:30 bedtime for kids

    7:30-8:00 clean, cook next days meal, make lunches,etc.

    8:00-9:00 study and review

    9:00-915 shower

    9:30 bedtime for me

    On Saturday, I was planning to hire a sitter to watch my kids for a while and that's only if I can't get them to settle down. ( I don't think I will have that problem though). I was also going to set aside an hour to take them to the park and another hour to go grocery shopping with them( they like that).

    At home, I'd study some more or go to the library with them.

    On Sunday, we would attend church(thanking God for getting us through the week and then eat out at a restaurant and then head home to wind down and yes, I'd study some more.
    I know I've left out something (like breathing) and it's a bit scrambled, but is this doable? I mean am I expecting to much by just spending that Sunday morning and Saturday afternoon with my kids? I have to spend time with them even though my going to school will benefit them, I can't neglect them.
    What do you think?
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  2. 21 Comments

  3. by   tx2007
    First off BREATHE!!!!! You made it into the program it will be ok!! I have a 6 year old and an 18 month old. Granted I do have a husband, but it is still doable! I get up at 6 get the kids ready and I take them to school and daycare. I am in class from 8 till whenever (studying and stuff). My hubby picks the kids up at 5 and I go to the gym from 5-6. I get home at 6 and cook, spend time with them until 8. They go to bed and then I study. I also work all day on Friday and Saturday to help with $$. I dont see my kids alot but the time I do see them I spend QUALITY time with them and that is what matters!! You will be fine and have everything worked out in no time. Can you put your kids in daycare?? I think that helps me stay sane not having to worry about anyone watching them canceling on me and leaving me stuck! We dont have alot of $$ so we get half of our daycare paid from the college grant, do you know of any of those programs that would help out with daycare costs?? I know youwill bw able to figure it out, do you start in Spring? If so you have enough time to find out what will work for you. I would try a "practice" day before school starts and make sure everything is going to work out ahead of time. Good Luck!
  4. by   LWildman
    I don't mean to scare you, but you might want to look into more resources for childcare. I would reccomend like a mothers day out at a church or something, even if it isn't during your class time-just so you can get some study time in. You will find that the majority of the people in the nursing program have kids-and most of them are single moms so don't worry about it just yet. You'll have lots of advice once you get there.
  5. by   NurseyBaby'05
    Don't forget about childcare arrangements on "sick days"; whether it's the provider or the kids. Many places will not let the kids there if they are sick. Just assume it will happen on an exam or clinical day with Murphy's Law being what it is. Also, don't forget to take a few hours of non-study time for yourself. It will keep you sane.
  6. by   Lisa CCU RN
    My daughter is in kindergarten and I will be putting my son in La Petite daycare and they open at 5:00 or 6:00. My daughter will attend before and after school care. They have daycare for during the week. I was just asking if I was giving myself enough time to study and giving my kids enough time. LWildman, where do you go to school?
  7. by   Lisa CCU RN
    Quote from NurseyBaby'05
    Don't forget about childcare arrangements on "sick days"; whether it's the provider or the kids. Many places will not let the kids there if they are sick. Just assume it will happen on an exam or clinical day with Murphy's Law being what it is. Also, don't forget to take a few hours of non-study time for yourself. It will keep you sane.
    I'll say this for my children, they NEVER get sick. I don't need to knock on wood either, I trust that God will not let anything too wild happen like them getting sick on an exam day. I have had them in daycare since six weeks old and I have never had to keep them out for being sick. Just in case though, I'm saving up some money to to pay for this sitter service that will come to your house day or night for 8 bucks an hour. I think I can pay for that if I had a two or three hour exam or a clinical.
  8. by   sunny78
    i can understand what you are going thru i had the same problem but with only one child, and as hard as it seems with leaving your children or child you are doing it to better yourself, and to make a better life for them, and trust me when they get older they will understand that and appreicate that and as children learn thru example,they will see you did not settle and you went for what you wanted and just because you are alone does not mean,you need to crawl in a hole and die you are a perfect example for all single moms everywhere!!!!!! and you will reap the benefits later, :hatparty: you will do fine!!!! it may not seem so now but if you want it bad enough there will be a way, and GOD will make a way for you!!!! best of luck always!!
  9. by   Lisa CCU RN
    Quote from sunny78
    i can understand what you are going thru i had the same problem but with only one child, and as hard as it seems with leaving your children or child you are doing it to better yourself, and to make a better life for them, and trust me when they get older they will understand that and appreicate that and as children learn thru example,they will see you did not settle and you went for what you wanted and just because you are alone does not mean,you need to crawl in a hole and die you are a perfect example for all single moms everywhere!!!!!! and you will reap the benefits later, :hatparty: you will do fine!!!! it may not seem so now but if you want it bad enough there will be a way, and GOD will make a way for you!!!! best of luck always!!
    Thanks Sunny 78!
  10. by   AussieTina
    I can soooo relate to this.

    I am a single mum with four kids (13, 10, 3 and 22 months). I am nearly at the end of my first year of a three year RN degree.
    My schedule sounds like yours except my kids don't go to daycare untill 8am and i pick them up at 4pm. Dont get to bed till midnight though. It takes determination and organisation and more organisation!
    I do feel guilty having the little ones in daycare 5 days a week, but it is also for them that i am doing this
    It is worth it in the end, and it is do able, you do however need to be flexable
    I also bought myself a laptop so on the odd occasion that they are playing nicely outside, i can sit there and study.

    Tina
    Last edit by AussieTina on Nov 2, '05
  11. by   MIA-RN1
    I think your idea of the schedule is great but I do agree that there has to be some room for flexibility and a back-up plan for illness or unforseen events. Maybe when you get to classes, you and some other students can set up a sitting-swap and take turns with each others kids for some study time. Also, you might find a babysitter on campus--a student with some time looking to make a few extra bucks might just be the mother's helper that you may need as the semester progresses. Your church is probably a great resource as well to find someone you know and trust to help out when you get overwhelmed now and then.
    Good luck to you and keep your eyes on the prize. You have the right attitude for success!
  12. by   prinsessa
    It might seem like a lot of hard work, but you can do it! I was a single mom for a while and I was working full time and going to school full time. One thing that helped is that one of my DD's friends mom asked if she could come for play dates regularly. I also watched her DD if she needed a break. That way I had an hour or two to study without my DD being bored (or bothering me). My mom also helped me out when I needed it. You might be stessed for a while, but it will be worth it in the end. You kids will also look up to you for finishing school. My mom went back to school when I was younger and I always admired her for it. Her encouragement is one of the reasons that I decided to go back. Good luck!
  13. by   futureRN07
    I'm also a single mother of two kids, 6 & 9, with my closest relative living
    2 & 1/2 hours away. I'm half-way through my second term in a BSN program and me and the kids are handling things fine. It hasn't always been easy and I think that I'm running on empty most of the time but I've made it this far so I know I can finish. The hardest thing about having kids while going to nursing school is that you can't tailor your school schedule around your kids' schedule anymore. I'm given my class and clinicals schedule and I have to figure out how to work around it. Thank God, my kids are flexible and resiliant! They have adjusted to getting up at 5am a few days a week and have stopped asking "why is it dark, mommy?" when I drop them off at day care (it broke my heart the first couple of times). The key is to have a schedule for your family but to also be flexible. Utilize the time your kids are sleeping and your breaks between classes at school as much as you can to study because when your kids are home they need your time and attention. Hang in there, it will be done before you know it. It always helps me to think of the great example I'm setting for my kids. When they grow up they'll know that they can accomplish anything if they set their minds to it, because their mommy did!
  14. by   Spidey's mom
    I waited until my youngest was in first grade so I wouldn't be gone when they were home and I wouldn't have to use day care.

    My schedule had me home by 3-ish in the afternoon so I could pick them up from school (or my mom could) and spend time with them and cook dinner and tuck them in, etc. I studied at school - too hard to do at home and I did have free hours during the day to head to the library. Besides, I usually would fall asleep if I tried to read my med/surg book at home.

    My kids are now 22, 20 and 16 and my husband and I had a baby in our 40's who is now 4 . . . . time flies faster than you think - I see that every time I see my oldest holding my youngest. Seems like my oldest was just a toddler . .. . .

    Best wishes - steph

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