I felt the same way 12 years ago, and felt that I had no one to talk to....thank God for allnurses.com. I was in a nursing program, and it was tuff, but I was doing it. I just somewhere fell, I lost hope. I don't know if it was just me being tired of the studying, and not having a social life anymore, or what. I was fresh out of high school, and being stuck in a room studying really wasn't what I wanted to do. I was working pt as a unit clerk and pt as a nurse assistant at an area hospital. I was at the point where I just couldn't take it anymore. I quit.....yep, I quit my job, changed my major and eventually fooled myself like I was happy.
Now, I've been in HR/Staffing for the past 9 years. Heck, I managed to convice myself and others that this is what I'd always wanted to do. But deep inside, I knew better. I recently resigned from my job making 72K/yr, and took on a part-time gig just to have something coming in while I go to school and get my NA certification. That's right, I'm starting all over again, bcuz now I realize that I won't be truly happy until I go back and finish what I started. However, now, I have two daughters and husband that also need me. They all know that this is a dream of mine, but let my mom tell it, it's a dream that could've came to pass a long time ago if I would have stuck it out. I have to re-take A&Pll & Micro, but I'm looking forward to doing that this summer.
Don't give up.....If u REALLY wanted to be a nurse, and the DRIVE use to be there....do what you gotta do to find it. Don't let the negative thoughts get in your head....and if one sneak up, don't play into it. I'm sure your situation is different from mine, but Don't give up, Don't lose hope....
"Editing to add that along with the 72K came ulcers, a "real" micro-manager, and a whole lot of tears. I could bearly stand myself so I would hate to think what others thought of me when I was that miserable daily. Oh my gawd, I get sick just thinking about the old me"