Gonna be a mom, HELP!

  1. i have a million questions, here's my story;
    ok so i have a problem. this morning i used first response and found out i was pregnant (or at least there's a 99% chance that i am). i had suspected something was up: maybe since i've been ultra hungry lately, nipples hurting, eating like a pig and getting all around bigger, irritable/emotional and sometime nauseous and lately having to pee a lot and my alergies are really bad. don't know if all those are signs of being pregnant or anything, but i certainly wasn't having my period.. i had stopped getting birth control once my insurance stopped after i quit my job in mid/late july. before taking birth control i rarely had periods and was suspected of a hormone deficiency. but after the tests they said i was fine and when i got on the pill i had a period every month, right on schedule. haven't had one since. my boyfriend and i haven't used a condom in almost a year - he's never ejaculated during intercourse with me anyway - he's got like penis shut off -don't want a baby mode - but we both know pre-ejaculation can get you pregnant.

    needless to say it isn't official but the dr.s appointment is oct 13th. i have no insurance, no mom to give me advice, i just started working 2 days a week so i can go to school 3-5 days a week (cna class), and i may have made too much money to get medicaid (i know you need the last for paychecks and all of mine are around $350 for 42hour shifts), plus i live with my dad for free right now - but will be getting a place with my bf before i have the baby. i talked it over with him and he's almost as scared as i am but a little excited to, which relieves a bit of stress on my part.
    if i pass, i'll be a cna come november 21 and can work there, but i guess i can't do heavy lifting right?
    we aren't telling any friends or family until we know for sure, but i need to talk to somebody who knows, so i thought i would post here, i'm sure you've had lots of experience working with obstetric patients or have been mothers/fathers yourselves.
    funny how this morning i realized i'm a grown up (22 in december) and i've got to worry about grown up things. not that i was ever really that irresponsible, but i'm going to miss being selfish and buying stuff for myself and just sitting around having lazy days.
    i've lived on my own for a year - came back to dad's to afford school (i don't want to be a cook for the rest of my life), i'm taking the acceptance test october 5 to get into a nursing program next fall and now i don't even know if i'll be able to do it physically, mentally, financially or have any time.

    what's your advice, opinions and personal experiences with being pregnant. any links that could help me out. anyone know anything about the free health insurance for women who are pregnant or the wic program.. or is that just a thing over here in maine? i know i can get help with housing in the city my dad lives in, there's a good program where they take your family's income, subtract cable, electric, phone, grocery, gas, insurance bills, and then decide what you'll pay for rent - i had a friend who paid $125 a month for a nice 2 bedroom apartment and she got to be a stay at home mom.
    so yeah, should i be eating anything in particular? i know i need to stay away from these damn smokers, and i'll have to stop drinking (which was like a once a month thing anyway). anything i'll have to worry about when i become a cna, anything that i won't be able to do at work because of this? how long do most people leave work? how soon can i come back? would they take me back? should i tell them now (well, if i figure out it's a definite things at the dr's) while i'm just in the class, wait until clinicals, or wait until i start working?

    any information would be greatly appreciated
    ~michelle
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  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   Butterfly3001
    Hi Michelle:

    My advice for you if you are in fact pregnant, which you sound like you think you are, you can always go to a free health clinic in your area. I know because when I got pregnant with my son I went to a free clinic because I didnt have any insurance, so maybe you can look in your phonebook for one. As far as school goes you should check with the policy for you nursing program. I wish you good luck because raising a child is no joke and it can be pretty hard sometimes. I had my son when I was just 20 and Im now 22 just finishing up my prereqs this semster for the nursing program and its tough let me tell ya,but definetly possible. SHOOT FOR THE STARS. God bless
  4. by   happydz
    http://www.babycenter.com was a lifesaver for me. If you sign up for their e-mails, they will send you an e-mail each month telling you what's going on in your body at that specific time.
  5. by   meownsmile
    Most county health departments have free family planning clinics that will offer prenatal/postnatal care. Check into yours and they may be able to help with other things that come down the road.
    Considering the CNA classes are only about 8-10 weeks, go ahead and go now and get through that before you become farther along in your pregnancy. It will be easier now as far as the lifting and pulling go.
    Just dont get stuck in the rut of being a "stay at home mom" because they will subsidize your housing. After the baby gets here get something worked out so you can continue school. Remember you and your baby may have only YOU to rely on the rest of your lives. A significant other is nice, but doesnt always work out that way.

    Good luck and best wishes. Hope everything works itself out for you.
  6. by   twinmommy+2
    Hunny, I wish I were right there with you I would give you the biggest hug right now!

    You know what, its ok to be scared in the beginning. I have three girls 4 years and under, preggo with the 4th, and am doing my last semester of nursing school. Don't let your mind tell you that you can't do it cause it can be done. When I started prereqs, my girls were 1 1/2, and the twins were 5 months old.

    But what you have to worry about now isn't school. Take one thing at a time. Find a free clinc like the others said and go from there. Take a list of questions with you and ask them every single thing that comes to mind.

    Contact social services also. I get child care vouchers for my three girls to go to day care while I'm at school. You might qualify for WIC, health insurance and other stuff. You never know what you could get until you apply.

    But most importantly just take it easy on yourself. Things like this just happen sometimes. You are going to be just fine!

    And email me if you want to ask me questions ok?
    Last edit by canoehead on Sep 29, '05 : Reason: email removed from public viewing
  7. by   cardiacRN2006
    Sure sounds like you are pregnant-oh how I wish I was where you are...
    Avoid like the plague: lunchmeats (listeria) uncooked or undercooked meat, seafood (mercury) and please, please start taking folic acid right now! Of course, no smoking or alcohol. And for right now, only take Tylenol for pain, no ibuprofen...
  8. by   MIA-RN1
    OK, if you are in school RUN, don't walk, to your health services and they will get you set up. I wouldn't wait if I were in your shoes becuase there is a lot to deal with and the sooner you get the wheels in motion, the sooner the stuff is dealt with, and then you can stop worrying.
    Eat healthy, don't smoke, NO ALCOHOL and no meds without a doctors approval.
    If you are not in school, call your local WIC office. Ours is in the phone book. They will help you too. Most service agencies like that need an official confirmation of pregnancy first. If you can't see anyone at Health Services at your school, then get on the phone and start calling around. I don't know if you have Planned Parenthoods near you but they will do testing and help you with referrals and stuff.
    You need to use your critical thinking here to help yourself stop worrying. First, confirm the pregnancy. Second, find out who can help you. After that, you;ll be better able figure out what to do next.
    I was 18 when I got pg with my first one,and I was scared at first. But the first thing I did was go somewhere for help. Even call a teen clinic in your area; even tho you are too old, they will know where you can go for help.
  9. by   fireflyLPN
    Michelle,

    I'm not a OB Nurse, or even a mom. I was moved by your story, and would like to wish you nothing but the best on the exciting journey you are about to begin (both as a mom & future nurse)! :icon_hug:
  10. by   Kristyn, RN
    It sounds like you are getting lots of great advice here!
    As far s working as a CNA is concerned, be careful what you do with your body. I work in a nursing home, and we do lots of lifting. Everyone I have worked with at my current job who has continued working as a CNA for their whole pregnancy (Dr. said it was fine) has ended up giving birth before they were 8 mos. The babies are all still healthy, but that seems like a risk not worth taking to me. Most facilities I know of have "light duty" programs for people who cannot lift. However, if I went on light duty at work they would cut my pay down to minimum wage!
    Just be careful! Good luck and congradulations!
    Kristyn
  11. by   schoolgirl2006
    As others here have said, take care of yourself! Your body is working overtime and doesn't need any extra stress. About the CNA situation, I would really be careful of where you work. I worked as a CNA in a nursing home until the middle of my second trimester and they didn't offer anything "light duty"...it was either do the work or find a different job. I had to quit because I was exhausted!! I found out later that my iron was low...which made it that much worse. I would suggest if you do decide to work as a CNA during the pregnancy, find something at an assisted living facility. You still have a lot of people to help, but you don't have as much heavy lifting. I, too, know CNA's that worked while pregnant and delivered early. By the time I decided I couldn't do that kind of work, it was far along enough into my pregnancy that I wasn't "hireable" to other employers and I was not able to find work (nothing that paid decent anyway). ~~ I wish you the best!! Take your vitamins, drink your water, get pleanty of rest, and don't stress the small stuff. :icon_hug:
  12. by   nursemommyof3
    Congrats to you! I have a 3 year old, 19 month old, and just started my 3rd trimester, due in December. It's tough going to NS and being pg, especially during clinicals, but you can do it.

    We are on WIC and medicaid (first time in my life), and it's something you most definately should look into. While I lost my job last year, my hubbie and I decided that I would finally finish school. So then with no insurance, violia~I'm pregnant! Having the medicaid has relieved a ton of stress for us, knowing that my pgcy and LD are covered.

    Like someone else mentioned, I'm a huge fan of www.babycenter.com I'm guessing you are due in june/july. Go to the community on babycenter, then birth boards, and then the month/year that you are due. You can make great friends there, and get tons of advice from new moms and experienced moms.

    Read all you can, it helps you make informed decsions regarding you and your baby. Anything from what you eat, to what type birth/labor you want to try for needs to be your choice, and an informed choice is best.

    Like a pp said, start taking that folic acid and prenatals NOW! It's very important during the entire pgcy, but especially during your frist trimester.

    Again, congrats! PM me if you like! Janet
  13. by   zambezi
    Congratulation! I am glad that you have a doctor's appointment scheduled. As most of the OB nurses here will attest, prenatal care is important- plus your doctor can hook you up with local resources and answer some of your questions. The website that I enjoy is www.babyfit.com. It is an easy to use website, with a lot forums like these with women going through all different kinds of things. You can connect with other women due in the same month too. There is a food tracking program where you can enter in all your foods and it calcualtes out how many calories you are eating, how much iron, folate, calcium, etc you are getting. It also has meal plan, discusses some of the do's and dont's etc. There are all kinds of articles on exercise, nutrition, etc. It has been my favorite website that I have found and I have look at alot! That being said- take a prenatal vitamin, quit (or at least cut down) if you are a smoker, don't drink. Fish low in mercury (such as salmon) are okay once or twice a week- a 6 oz can of tuna is ok on occassion too. As for exercise, I still run and lift as I did prior to being pregnant, just at a bit lower of a pace- exercise is something to discuss with the doc though- just in case you have a medical condition that prohibits any kind of workout. I have no lift restriction at work nor do I feel I need one at this point. If it dosen't hurt it is probably ok (again, discuss it with the doc though!) just listen to your body, eat right, get lots of rest, stay hydrated, and continue to follow your goals an dreams. YOu will be okay!
  14. by   dettwiller5
    Hi and Congratulations!
    One of the first things that you can do is to start taking Folic Acid for the baby. I was on WIC with my first child and it is a great program. It isnt just for children, it is for pregnant women also. Definitely check into that. YOu should qualify- just call the health department and they can give yoiu the information. Alo visit the website www.parentsoup.com I was there all of the time with all three of my kids. They have great message boards for every situation where you can get to know other people in your situation.. Good Luck and keep us posted!

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