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- by mmcc26 Jul 10Hi everyone! I posted on here a week ago about a negative experience with a family member sort of "putting me down" about my choice to pursue nursing as a career. I've come to notice that a lot of members of my family, upon hearing about my career choice, have been giving me LOTS of unwarranted advice about what I should do, where I should work, what specialty to pursue, which degrees to get, etc etc.
I'm just curious if this is like this for anyone else, or if my family is just extremely overly opinionated?!
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- Jul 10 by avhoneyIf they are not a nurse or did not go through nursing school, they don't know what they are talking about. It is their best way to be able to relate to you. I cannot tell you how many times family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers have given me more than their two cents about nursing. I deal with this issue by honestly just letting them vent and not add to the fire. I am respectful in listening to them but you have to accept that they are not you and they are not a nurse so they cannot understand. If you meet someone who is a nurse or was in the health field annoying you about it, remember its your life and this career is not for every one. If you like it and enjoy it, its the career for you.
In regards to them giving you advice on where to work and what to do. You can redirect the conversation by sharing what you do like or you know that is not for you or share your dream job situations. Usually, when I start talking the person stops the conversation after this.
- Jul 11 by beachy2013How rude! Smile, look them in the eye, and say "Thanks for giving me your two cents. How are YOU doing?" If you change the subject it should give them a clear message. If they want to keep debating it politely excuse yourself. They might really mean well or just feel like they are the experts on everything. Since they are family...I'd say give them a pass but you don't have to be a doormat. If they absolutely don't let it go, I would be more direct and say "Thanks for your advice! I'm happy with this decision though." Because it is YOUR choice!
- Jul 11 by dotorifficFor me, since there are other nurses and nursing students in our family most just offer up help or motivation. They know how it is so they know if I need to be left alone to study. They will offer to help with coursework if I have questions or need to pick out supplies or scrubs, stuff like that. The non nursing family members have already been through this with my sister so now they just say let me know if you need anything and congratulate me on following in her footsteps.
- Jul 11 by bmillzIt's definitely normal. No matter who it is that you tell, whether it be strangers, friends, family...they all have something to say. Most are just trying to be nice, so I just sit back, and (sometimes just pretend to) listen.
- Jul 11 by green34I had an exhoyfriend's mom who was very opinated about things but that was her personality. She seemed like I should know exactly where I should want to work in or specialize in right away, which I think is wrong. Like I am open to working a year in medsurg and then working in an ICU. Specializing early on does limit you. Even if I do get hired into the ER or ICU, I will continue trying to get a supplemental spot in an ICU.
- Jul 11 by mmcc26Quote from green34I totally relate to this. In my case, as soon a distant relative heard I was pursuing nursing, she decided to hold me hostage at a family party and tell me how I need to get my doctorate because I would "get tired and old" so being a staff nursing would not be a good idea. She does medical billing in a doctors office and unfortunately thinks this makes her knowledgable in the medical field. I guess everyone is an expert when it comes to someone else's life.I had an exhoyfriend's mom who was very opinated about things but that was her personality. She seemed like I should know exactly where I should want to work in or specialize in right away, which I think is wrong. Like I am open to working a year in medsurg and then working in an ICU. Specializing early on does limit you. Even if I do get hired into the ER or ICU, I will continue trying to get a supplemental spot in an ICU.