Final grade disappointment... why can't I let it go??? - page 5

Happy Holidays to all!... Read More

  1. by   RainDreamer
    Quote from Marie_LPN
    What you might think of "this silly" might be a disappointing situation to someone else. No need to minimize how someone else is feeling.
    Exactly!!
  2. by   z's playa
    Hello!!!! Once again.......the OP deleted her post...meaning she doesn't want our advice.....I feel before this gets ugly someone (moderator) should put this thread to bed.
    Last edit by z's playa on Dec 23, '04
  3. by   mariedoreen
    Quote from aruray
    So you have to understand how a post like her's can come off as a lil silly, a lil childish and even be a lil arrogant.
    Okay, I can see your point as well. This is a time when finals are finishing up and you have people posting in tears because they've been dropped from their programs... major, major disappointment. In a way, perhaps a post like this minimizes their feelings... It's kind of like walking into an oncologist's waiting room where you know there are people there with brain tumors and exclaiming loudly that you have a splitting tension headache and would like sympathy right away!
  4. by   RainDreamer
    Quote from aruray
    Why do ppl keep on insisting that I was minimizing her feelings. Thats how I felt about how she said she didnt like her grade. I stated my opinion straight to the point, plain and simple. How is that minimizing? I was just trying to be honest. There is a right time to be empathetic and a right time to be honest. How terrible is it to have an A-, in nursing school? ...seriously! I dont even know of anybody who had an A in RN school, do u? So you have to understand how a post like her's can come off as a lil silly, a lil childish and even be a lil arrogant.
    Having an A isn't even the issue here. The issue is that she had 1 grade (an A) the entire semester and in the end she got a lower grade (an A-), no matter how much lower it is, it's still lower and she just feels disappointed right now.

    I understand the need to give different views, but it just seems like people were more harsh than they needed to be. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all..... seems like some people here need to hear that again.
  5. by   NewEnglandRN
    Actually, yes the OP (me!) did erase the original post, yet I continue to lurk to see your responses on my time verses the via emal notification. So I have appreciated and took into consideration many of the posts.

    Please realize I did not come here for sympathy or to "brag." I was disappointed to work my hardest all semester and then have my grade drop by not being completely prepared for the final. Now that I have had a few days to reflect, I am <okay> with my grade because I know I did my best and tried my hardest. My class is highly competitive and that puts added pressure on us.

    I feel terrible for the people who have had to drop out of their programs due to their grades and I have Pm'd them my support and encouragement.

    Thank you all for your opinions, support and advice. The great thing about this board it that everyone is entitled to their own personal opinions

    Many warm wishes for a happy holiday! :Snowman1:
    Last edit by NewEnglandRN on Dec 24, '04
  6. by   lil' girl
    Michelle I can certainly get where you are coming from. I was worried the whole semester that I wouldn't get an A, but I had the A grades and still worried my self crazy. Everyone in class thought I was crazy too because most of them were just happy to pass. And ya know for them that may be just fine, but I want that A even if I have to kill myself studying to get it.

    I am sorry you didn't get much support here, just know that I understand how you feel and wish you good luck.
  7. by   Tweety
    Quote from aruray
    Why do ppl keep on insisting that I was minimizing her feelings. Thats how I felt about how she said she didnt like her grade. I stated my opinion straight to the point, plain and simple. How is that minimizing? I was just trying to be honest. There is a right time to be empathetic and a right time to be honest. How terrible is it to have an A-, in nursing school? ...seriously! I dont even know of anybody who had an A in RN school, do u? So you have to understand how a post like her's can come off as a lil silly, a lil childish and even be a lil arrogant.

    I made A's in RN school. Several of us did.

    You are allowed to any opinion you choose.

    I was only addressing your desire to "....helping her put things into perspective" and that perhaps you weren't going about it in the best way.
    Feel free to call her silly, childish, and arrogant, but don't think that is necessarily going to keep thing in perspective. It might, but then again, it might make her feel worse.

    Sorry, if we're beginning to sound like a lynch mob, because I do understand what you're saying. Feeling like a failure for making an A- is indeed over the top, but I feel it's best to allow her those feelings, acknowledge them, and go from there.
    Last edit by Tweety on Dec 24, '04
  8. by   Tweety
    Quote from aruray
    And please stop bragging about your A's here. It doesnt make anybody feel good but yourself. No self glorifcation here pls. I know, its a whole other forum..

    Your request is noted. You certainly are allowed to request we don't brag about our A's here.

    But I can't comply. I guarantee if I work my butt off and make an A, I'm coming here and sharing my joy, and getting some pats on the back, with the express purpose of self-glorification and not making anyone else but myself feel good.

    Just warning you!

    But, I'm not going to kill myself for As and will be happy with what I get.
  9. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Last i checked, 'empathetic' and 'honest' doesn't mean rude.



    I understand the need to give different views, but it just seems like people were more harsh than they needed to be.
    I thought so, myself.
  10. by   lisamc1RN
    This is what is getting to me. If we are only empathetic to people we view as having it "bad" or "worse" than how far do we go with it?

    Anyone with an A- will not get any understanding by the people with B's or lower.

    If you are getting a B, it doesn't matter how disappointed you are that you lost that A, just be thankful it wasn't a C, because there are people who just barely scraped by with one even though they tried just as hard.

    And you people with C's, quit your whining because at least you are still in the program!

    Didn't make the cut? Hey, what a silly thing to worry about! My mother/child/ husband, etc. is in Iraq and I am worried sick as to whether I will ever see her/him again.

    Iraq? At least you have some hope. We just buried my loved one...

    There is always someone who can tell you that you don't have it so bad. That your feelings are silly when you put it into perspective. It all means the same to me... it minimizes a person's feelings, which is something a good nurse will not do.
  11. by   mariedoreen
    Quote from lisamc1
    This is what is getting to me. If we are only empathetic to people we view as having it "bad" or "worse" than how far do we go with it?

    Anyone with an A- will not get any understanding by the people with B's or lower.

    If you are getting a B, it doesn't matter how disappointed you are that you lost that A, just be thankful it wasn't a C, because there are people who just barely scraped by with one even though they tried just as hard.

    And you people with C's, quit your whining because at least you are still in the program!

    Didn't make the cut? Hey, what a silly thing to worry about! My mother/child/ husband, etc. is in Iraq and I am worried sick as to whether I will ever see her/him again.

    Iraq? At least you have some hope. We just buried my loved one...

    There is always someone who can tell you that you don't have it so bad. That your feelings are silly when you put it into perspective. It all means the same to me... it minimizes a person's feelings, which is something a good nurse will not do.
    good point. the way you put things up here helped me to understand what you're saying better and yet agree with the other side better too...

    i remember one time we had just moved into a new house and with the down payment etc.. we were extremely strapped for cash. we had a pipe break under the house and it ran us $1000 in damage. at one point i remember just sitting down on the front steps and bawling my eyes out. it was a reaction to the stress i'd been under for months to close this deal, the stress i was under at work to deliver on a complex project i was in charge of, and the stress of this new plumbing problem with our new house that we just could not afford. the next thing i knew an older neighbor i'd barely had the chance to meet a few days before sat down with me and asked me what was wrong. i poured the whole sorry story out. she sympathized with me and helped me brain storm some solutions. right before she left she put her arm around me and squeezed and said, "you know the thing about problems... no matter what it is, there's always someone who would be thrilled to be able to trade theirs in for yours." as she said it she kind of nodded her head towards a house across the street from me. i instantly got it. i had met the mom the day we moved in and knew that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer several months before. my neighbor was smiling very kindly at me and i smiled back and said thank you and i really meant it.

    funny, how you just reminded me of that. i guess my neighbor saw both sides. no matter what a person's problem is, it's a problem for that person and needs to be treated with respect and thoughtfulness and kindness. and then, as one person keeps pointing out here... the kind thing to do is also to help that person put their problem in perspective. i can't tell you how much better i was able to deal with my stressful job and my broken pipe and my new $1000 credit card balance after being reminded that if a person has to have problems (and who doesn't) i'd been gifted a good one in the grand scheme of things.
  12. by   aruray
    I was kinda lost there but no I would never compalin to a family member of a US soldier about my C grade, or go into extremes asking empathy from them. lol. That was a funny thought though. You are going way out there, I was merely stating what I felt. If that was minimizing her feelings then I dont know how else to make you understand my point. When youre way out there in the skies, its very hard to pull you back down to what the real issue is.

    If I have to say that I will agree with you, ok you are right. I cant take the outrageous (but funny!) comments anymore. I love it when you say "its not what nurses do". Im not trying to be a nurse in this forum. Heck if I did I would charge for my services! Wouldnt that be odd if everything you do is based on what a nurse would do?

    If I wanted to be rude I would have said so much more. Like I said I was merely stating what I felt about the post.
    Last edit by aruray on Dec 24, '04
  13. by   Rambob
    Up until last semester, I had all A's (except Pharm). This last semester, I got 2 C's. Now that really stinks. Not going into the long story, but I was extremly depressed and felt like $*@!.
    I have always pushed to do the best I could do. Anything less than an A really bothered me.
    I read a number of those "Things to know before nursing school" books before I started. Most of them talked about "lowering your standards." I didn't buy it then, and I still don't. But $*@! does happen.

    My favorite instructor told me that an occasional "low grade" makes you look more human. It also gives you something to talk about during interviews. Its not how low you fall, but how high you bounce back !

    Being the oldest in my class, I have to run twice as fast just to keep up, much less stay ahead. Next semester, "I'll be back !" to quote Arnold.

    Good luck next semester and remember.... when you're up at 2 am, there is someone else up burning the midnight oil.

    Happy Holidays :hatparty:

    Bob

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