Feeling really down in the dumps and friend-less in nursing school...advice needed - page 3

by willow298 7,005 Views | 40 Comments

Hi. I am 1 semester away from being done with nursing school. I am a really high achiever and get fantastic grades in both the lecture and clinical portions of my program. At the beginning of the program, I felt like I met... Read More


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    Hi there:

    Guess what? I'm in the EXACT same situation as you. I'm the "loner" in my class because what's happened to you happened to me. And there is a very "mean girl" in my class who will ostracize, blackball, etc. anyone who tries to be nice to me. I brought a cake into pot luck tonight and no one ate any piece of it. We started out as best friends in the class but I pulled away after I discovered how "crazy" she was. Borderline. But that's another story. Anyway, I feel the same way you do. I'm super smart. I get good grades. And I actually care about learning. So I know how you feel. I'm feeling the same thing.

    So chin up. Ignore them. Being mean to someone elses unfortunately does not up your IQ. So forget those idiots and stay focused. And take every opportunity to study and avoid the drama.

    Hope this helps.
    AheleneLPN and Red35 like this.
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    Congratulations on doing so well!!! I'm sorry your feeling so down, keep your head up, your almost there! I feel like a total outcast myself most of the time, but this will pass and you will be on to bigger and better things!
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    Don't be down! Same thing happens in all nursing schools...it's high school all over. Some people are there to learn and some people are there to make others miserable.

    When you get out in the field you will make life long friends.


    Congrats and pe proud!
    AheleneLPN likes this.
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    Congratulations! I feel compelled to write on the other end of this spectrum. I have struggled with nursing school since I started, and finally I met a woman, who helped me find a better way to study. I was in danger of flunking out of the program. If we can maintain a 73 average and then have a B in clinical, we can stay in the program with remediation, so my goal was to just make it up to a 73. I had a F--. The next test was the week of drop date. I attended 2 study groups, one I didn't find helpful at all with a woman in my clinical group, I guess because I hadn't yet started studying yet, nothing felt like it was sinking in. The next was later that same night. This woman, showed me a better way of studying. I just get it better this way. My grades have gone from a F-- to an B+. Because I just understand it all better. I am extremely grateful to this woman, and I have continued to attend study groups with her. In one test I achieved my 73 average mark with a B+ on that test. The exam the following week a B+ again. Which I am able to finally say I'm passing (75.4) and won't have to do our extremely hard remediation program. In two extremely good exam days I have achieved my goal of being able to continue on with my classmates, and graduate in May. If I can do 2 more the week of final I won't have to be on the fence passing.

    I have no idea what this woman's plans are but I intend to find out and hopefully keep in touch with her. Maybe now I can continue working on my BSN goal to. I would love to work with this woman as a nurse and feel confident now with the tools she's given me to help myself.

    I'm not saying you have to go out and help everyone who is failing nursing school, but there are some out there who appreciate the help. Congratulations on your amazing journey that is almost over and I thank you for people like you who are so amazing and willing to help others. It may not seem like it now but many blessings are coming your way!!! I'm not sure how much it is worth but I thank you and am grateful to you and amazing people like you!
    Last edit by EarthhAngel2013 on Nov 23, '12
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    I'm so sorry you are being treated this way. I was that woman in my prereqs and hated how people treated me because of my grades.

    Now that I'm in nursing school, and my grades aren't the best (Bs), I was razzing some of my fellow students who have great grades. I was just having fun with them, but I realize that it could be taken the wrong way. So, I completely stopped. In truth, I was very proud of them (everyone in my clinical group has an A but me) and was trying to tell them how stupid they made me feel through joking, but I would never in a million years want anyone to feel bad or guilty for being brilliant, so thanks for opening my eyes up to it.

    You are doing a great job and need to just focus on that. I agree with everyone that nursing school is just an extension of high school. Unfortunately, I think once we go to work, it'll still be there, and I'm going to have to work really hard to avoid those people.
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    Don't let it get to you. I'm finishing up pre-reqs and applying to my school's nursing program next semester. I'm doing extremely well in all my classes. I am not one at school to usually throw my grades around, when people ask how I did on an exam, I usually just say "I did good, how about you?".

    In my english class, however, I am starting to get a lot of "playful" snobby comments but I'm trying not to let it bother me because the semester is almost over. I love english in general, I love writing, so this class has been one that I have exceled in. And in this class, once we write an essay, we must let others read our essays in class and do in-class peer reviews. My essays always get nit-picked apart by students, because I write "long" essays, or I pick such "difficult" topics, and then always manage to get an A in the class while they get D's or F's. I've tried to be nice and even offer to tutor them in english and help them revise their essays, but they've never taken me up on the offer. They just continue to pick on me in class, but justify it by saying they're joking. I'm sure they are joking, but it does get old to hear it every. single. class. Before class, I'll get told things like "little miss perfect, what did you write today?" or "oh, aren't we a little perfectionist, I'm just SURE we've earned another "A" haven't we?"

    Anyways, my point is, I am PROUD of my grades. I try to minimize any drama by not telling anyone my grades, but even in my english class where it's kind of unavoidable, I do not let it bother me. I work hard for my grades, I work hard on my papers, and no one is going to make me feel bad for working hard at success and achieving it. Same with you, be proud of yourself, and do not let those who are jealous or bitter make you feel bad for earning grades you have worked hard for.
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    wow, and here I am thinking I was the only person going through this, feeling alone and as if I'm high school. Yes, in the nursing program, its all a competition, instead of uplifting your fellow class mate. There are plenty of females in my program who smile in your face, and then the next day talk about you. Fortunately for me, words don't phase me. You have one more semester, so please don't worry what these immature students in your class have to say or feel. You're soon to graduating and they are soon to repeating the class. Not to be mean, but you'll get that last laugh at the end .
    Red35 likes this.
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    heh. I sort of am in the same boat. I used to tell people my grades when they asked, but then they'd frown when I told them. It made me feel weird. I have a couple of acquaintances, but that's pretty much it. I keep nursing school at nursing school, and I stick to my friends and family outside of it. I don't really know how to make friends, though. I'm not very social (not by choice...I just don't know how to be social). I get good grades and stuff, though. I'm sure your friends still like you! Why don't you invite them out with you somewhere for fun? (:
    ShaynaSmart likes this.
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    Quote from Skips
    heh. I sort of am in the same boat. I used to tell people my grades when they asked, but then they'd frown when I told them. It made me feel weird. I have a couple of acquaintances, but that's pretty much it. I keep nursing school at nursing school, and I stick to my friends and family outside of it. I don't really know how to make friends, though. I'm not very social (not by choice...I just don't know how to be social). I get good grades and stuff, though. I'm sure your friends still like you! Why don't you invite them out with you somewhere for fun? (:
    I feel the exact same way! I was never any good at making friends when I was a kid, and I don't know how to do it properly as an adult!

    In response to the original post, I was feeling the exact same way and when I read your post, I felt better knowing I'm not the only one. When I started nursing school in January, there were 4 other girls in my age group and one guy. I thought we'd become friends and we were in all the same clinical groups and everything. And then, during our third semester, I noticed all the girls got really "clique-y" (waiting until I pulled up to the clinical site to start walking into the hospital together, sitting next to each other during class, talking on facebook, studying, texting) and I was like, "I'd like to do those things, too!" So, I would come home from class everyday feeling a little down. Being home with my love and my puppy cheered me up and made me realize, "I'm awesome and a great friend and they missed out!"

    I still get a little down once in a while, but if I had my own group of friends it probably wouldn't be a big deal. I just haven't worked anywhere long enough to make friends at work, and we moved to where we are living now as adults, so don't have any friends we grew up with down here. But we have been making some couple friends that we can hang out with once in awhile, so that's better anyway!
    Skips likes this.
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    Nursing school can be a huge hit to your self-esteem. You can be smart, and still sometimes not do as well as you want. My guess is that these people are full of pride on the outside but inside are very weak and insecure-you know-narcissists, it is an epidemic in the field of healthcare and in our great country in my honest opinion.

    If people do not like you because of your grades, it is not about YOU, it is about them. All you can do is be yourself! I would worry about how my patients and instructors feel and leave the rest alone.

    Anyone who is worth being around and being friends with will be happy for you when you do well, the others are too immature and self-serving to even bother with. I am surprised that so may selfish people want to be nurses, it is sad for the patients and I hope none of them are ever taking care of me!! My friends in my program do better than me most of the time, and I am happy for them!!


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