Feeling really down in the dumps and friend-less in nursing school...advice needed - page 3

Hi. I am 1 semester away from being done with nursing school. I am a really high achiever and get fantastic grades in both the lecture and clinical portions of my program. At the beginning of... Read More

  1. Visit  noelusb1 profile page
    1
    wow, and here I am thinking I was the only person going through this, feeling alone and as if I'm high school. Yes, in the nursing program, its all a competition, instead of uplifting your fellow class mate. There are plenty of females in my program who smile in your face, and then the next day talk about you. Fortunately for me, words don't phase me. You have one more semester, so please don't worry what these immature students in your class have to say or feel. You're soon to graduating and they are soon to repeating the class. Not to be mean, but you'll get that last laugh at the end .
    Red35 likes this.
  2. Visit  Skips profile page
    1
    heh. I sort of am in the same boat. I used to tell people my grades when they asked, but then they'd frown when I told them. It made me feel weird. I have a couple of acquaintances, but that's pretty much it. I keep nursing school at nursing school, and I stick to my friends and family outside of it. I don't really know how to make friends, though. I'm not very social (not by choice...I just don't know how to be social). I get good grades and stuff, though. I'm sure your friends still like you! Why don't you invite them out with you somewhere for fun? (:
    ShaynaSmart likes this.
  3. Visit  ShaynaSmart profile page
    1
    Quote from Skips
    heh. I sort of am in the same boat. I used to tell people my grades when they asked, but then they'd frown when I told them. It made me feel weird. I have a couple of acquaintances, but that's pretty much it. I keep nursing school at nursing school, and I stick to my friends and family outside of it. I don't really know how to make friends, though. I'm not very social (not by choice...I just don't know how to be social). I get good grades and stuff, though. I'm sure your friends still like you! Why don't you invite them out with you somewhere for fun? (:
    I feel the exact same way! I was never any good at making friends when I was a kid, and I don't know how to do it properly as an adult!

    In response to the original post, I was feeling the exact same way and when I read your post, I felt better knowing I'm not the only one. When I started nursing school in January, there were 4 other girls in my age group and one guy. I thought we'd become friends and we were in all the same clinical groups and everything. And then, during our third semester, I noticed all the girls got really "clique-y" (waiting until I pulled up to the clinical site to start walking into the hospital together, sitting next to each other during class, talking on facebook, studying, texting) and I was like, "I'd like to do those things, too!" So, I would come home from class everyday feeling a little down. Being home with my love and my puppy cheered me up and made me realize, "I'm awesome and a great friend and they missed out!"

    I still get a little down once in a while, but if I had my own group of friends it probably wouldn't be a big deal. I just haven't worked anywhere long enough to make friends at work, and we moved to where we are living now as adults, so don't have any friends we grew up with down here. But we have been making some couple friends that we can hang out with once in awhile, so that's better anyway!
    Skips likes this.
  4. Visit  Fiat40 profile page
    0
    Nursing school can be a huge hit to your self-esteem. You can be smart, and still sometimes not do as well as you want. My guess is that these people are full of pride on the outside but inside are very weak and insecure-you know-narcissists, it is an epidemic in the field of healthcare and in our great country in my honest opinion.

    If people do not like you because of your grades, it is not about YOU, it is about them. All you can do is be yourself! I would worry about how my patients and instructors feel and leave the rest alone.

    Anyone who is worth being around and being friends with will be happy for you when you do well, the others are too immature and self-serving to even bother with. I am surprised that so may selfish people want to be nurses, it is sad for the patients and I hope none of them are ever taking care of me!! My friends in my program do better than me most of the time, and I am happy for them!!
  5. Visit  Skips profile page
    0
    Quote from ShaynaSmart
    I feel the exact same way! I was never any good at making friends when I was a kid, and I don't know how to do it properly as an adult!

    In response to the original post, I was feeling the exact same way and when I read your post, I felt better knowing I'm not the only one. When I started nursing school in January, there were 4 other girls in my age group and one guy. I thought we'd become friends and we were in all the same clinical groups and everything. And then, during our third semester, I noticed all the girls got really "clique-y" (waiting until I pulled up to the clinical site to start walking into the hospital together, sitting next to each other during class, talking on facebook, studying, texting) and I was like, "I'd like to do those things, too!" So, I would come home from class everyday feeling a little down. Being home with my love and my puppy cheered me up and made me realize, "I'm awesome and a great friend and they missed out!"

    I still get a little down once in a while, but if I had my own group of friends it probably wouldn't be a big deal. I just haven't worked anywhere long enough to make friends at work, and we moved to where we are living now as adults, so don't have any friends we grew up with down here. But we have been making some couple friends that we can hang out with once in awhile, so that's better anyway!
    I moved to a different state as an adult, too, so I do not have my high school/childhood friends here, either. It's hard sometimes, because everybody that lives here has their high school/childhood friends! Or cousins. Or siblings. My husband and I have met some couples that are nice. We just don't get out a whole lot! :P

    I guess the upside to not having a giant social circle is having the time to study rather than socialize.
  6. Visit  Kryssyprzy profile page
    1
    I often feel alone in nursing school also, and what keeps me focused is thinking, I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to become a nurse. Now that doesn't mean that I wouldn't welcome making a friend, but I try to put it on the back burner so all my focus is on school.
    3aremyjoy likes this.
  7. Visit  Crazed profile page
    0
    I do not consider myself a friend to anyone in school however I am friendly to everyone.

    I look at nursing school as my job so none of them are on my facebook page.

    They assume I make fantastic grades because I know a lot of things, but usually I'm in the B range. (Not sure if I've ever made an A on a nursing test?) I always laugh and make up numbers when they ask me about my grades. Some people are just natural nurses, these things come easy to them. What is it? Nursing is 90% calling?

    In any case this does make me sad because I go out of my way to be a friend to the friendless. For example we have a girl who immigrated and needs to ask things that the rest of us don't due to cultural and language barriers. You can actually hear people sigh in class the second she raises her hand. I always stop her, give her a hug, and ask her how she is.

    Hang in there OP, soon enough you'll feel valued for understanding.
  8. Visit  Gracesmom0801 profile page
    0
    You should be PROUD of your accomplishments. They are just jealous and that is a very ugly attribute for them. I'll pray for you!
    Quote from willow298
    Hi. I am 1 semester away from being done with nursing school. I am a really high achiever and get fantastic grades in both the lecture and clinical portions of my program. At the beginning of the program, I felt like I met really good people that were wonderful friends. But as time went on, I feel like that is not the case at all. As the semesters went on, we got divided up into different clinical groups and people started to get mad at me for doing very well on exams and for ATI tests. They used to approach me after tests demanding to know what grade I got, and when I told them they got angry. This semester I have decided not to tell anyone and to just say "I did good" to prevent this hostility. For example, 1 girl who I felt very close with last year hasn't spoken to me at all after I received points for passing a test and she did not. These people seem to behave very childishly and I feel like I am back in high school. I have one really good friend (I think) but he is in another clinical group this time around and I feel as though it kind of distances us, which is very unfortunate. I just feel extremely depressed about the entire situation and just decided to come on this wonderful forum to see some comments as to what others have done in situations like this. I feel like such a loner =[
  9. Visit  lovedijah profile page
    1
    I don't really believe that people stop talking to you just because your grades are good. I think it's more to the story than that. This is not calling you a bad person. I'm just saying there are two sides to each story. But I just can't allow myself to believe everyone in the class is jealous of you and nobody talks to you because of that.

    Theres a girl in my class that nobody really talks to, but she's really arrogant about her grades. Or maybe she's not arrogant. Maybe she's proud. But to the outside, it seems arrogant. I'm not really passionate about the situation or her friendship to say, "I'm not jealous of you. But when you roll your eyes and make smug marks about your grades in comparison to others, it makes people not like you". But I'm sure she thinks people "hate" her and are "jealous". I have a loving husband, a roof over my head, all that I need and more.. how could I be jealous because she got a 95 and I got 80. It'll take more than that. The grades I get in nursing school- yes.. I wish I got all A's. But so long as the C's and B's I get add up to me getting a nursing license- I can't complain. I can't win every test battle. I try my best. It is what it is. Honestly. Not everyone is jealous.

    Are there jealous people? Of course. But I question a room full of jealous people (and I admit, you didn't say everyone was jealous or acting weird.. just a few)

    Maybe its not your grades. Maybe it's something else. Reasons you could try to figure out. But you probably have a med surg test coming up. Worry about that instead.

    On another note. Lets say these people are jealous and "users"- why would you want to be friends with them anyway? You've seen their true colors, count your blessings their intentions aren't disguised. Ignore the texts. Remain cordial. Get your license. Move on with with your life. But I just can't understand being down about people who you think are jealous and users. If someone shows you their true colors, believe them. Move on. Problem solved.
    grownuprosie likes this.
  10. Visit  FillRN profile page
    0
    I had a similar experience in Nursing school. I had a core group of people I was friends with the first semester, but thanks to the administration deciding to break us up, I got placed into different clinicals. As time went on, the core was down to four of us, as we went all 3 semesters, so we moved ahead of the others who stayed out summers. One semester I was in clinical with 8 of the most immature students I had ever encountered. I was miserable the entire semester. But all things come to an end, and you have only one semester to go. Finish, don't worry about your classmates, as they will not matter much after you are done and start your new career.
  11. Visit  Carolll profile page
    0
    I know someone that carried a 4.0 through the whole 16 months......and yes, the others were extremely nasty to her.

    Jokes on them because she's going to be the nurse that everyone wants, not the nurse that cheated on her tests, was lazy on her clinicals and gave someone else a hard time because her ego was too big to admit that she couldn't carry the grade!!!!

    You go girl, you are fantastic and they know it.......4 more short months!!!
  12. Visit  cupcake2013 profile page
    0
    I found this post because I am feeling the same way. No one is being mean to me. I just don't feel like I have any real connections. I have not had this trouble before. I made friends at my old school, when I first moved hear. I have made friends in extracurricular activities. Basically I have friends in everything but nursing school. It seems everyone has their own little cliques and I am just not involved. I feel left out.
  13. Visit  Stephalump profile page
    0
    Quote from lovedijah
    I don't really believe that people stop talking to you just because your grades are good. I think it's more to the story than that. This is not calling you a bad person. I'm just saying there are two sides to each story. But I just can't allow myself to believe everyone in the class is jealous of you and nobody talks to you because of that.

    Theres a girl in my class that nobody really talks to, but she's really arrogant about her grades. Or maybe she's not arrogant. Maybe she's proud. But to the outside, it seems arrogant. I'm not really passionate about the situation or her friendship to say, "I'm not jealous of you. But when you roll your eyes and make smug marks about your grades in comparison to others, it makes people not like you". But I'm sure she thinks people "hate" her and are "jealous". I have a loving husband, a roof over my head, all that I need and more.. how could I be jealous because she got a 95 and I got 80. It'll take more than that. The grades I get in nursing school- yes.. I wish I got all A's. But so long as the C's and B's I get add up to me getting a nursing license- I can't complain. I can't win every test battle. I try my best. It is what it is. Honestly. Not everyone is jealous.

    Are there jealous people? Of course. But I question a room full of jealous people (and I admit, you didn't say everyone was jealous or acting weird.. just a few)

    Maybe its not your grades. Maybe it's something else. Reasons you could try to figure out. But you probably have a med surg test coming up. Worry about that instead.

    On another note. Lets say these people are jealous and "users"- why would you want to be friends with them anyway? You've seen their true colors, count your blessings their intentions aren't disguised. Ignore the texts. Remain cordial. Get your license. Move on with with your life. But I just can't understand being down about people who you think are jealous and users. If someone shows you their true colors, believe them. Move on. Problem solved.
    I completely agree with this post. I do not know the situation, but I'd still be willing to bet money that an entire class isn't against you purely because of your grades. It wouldn't surprise me if some are. I've run across a few people who have such entitlement issues they lash out at people who have what they think they should have. But those have by far been the minority.

    I'm not claiming to know you've been some horrid person peeing in everyone's Cheerios - I know innocent people can fid themselves ganged up on. It just seems vey unlikely that it's as simple as a bunch of people jealous of how smart you are. Have you talked to anyone about it? Tried to get the word on the street?

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