Feeling really down in the dumps and friend-less in nursing school...advice needed

nyteshade, BSN · Nov 20, 2012

Hi. I am 1 semester away from being done with nursing school.
I am a really high achiever and get fantastic grades in both the lecture and clinical portions of my program.
At the beginning of the program, I felt like I met really good people that were wonderful friends. But as time went on, I feel like that is not the case at all. As the semesters went on, we got divided up into different clinical groups and people started to get mad at me for doing very well on exams and for ATI tests. They used to approach me after tests demanding to know what grade I got, and when I told them they got angry. This semester I have decided not to tell anyone and to just say "I did good" to prevent this hostility.
For example, 1 girl who I felt very close with last year hasn't spoken to me at all after I received points for passing a test and she did not. These people seem to behave very childishly and I feel like I am back in high school.
I have one really good friend (I think) but he is in another clinical group this time around and I feel as though it kind of distances us, which is very unfortunate.
I just feel extremely depressed about the entire situation and just decided to come on this wonderful forum to see some comments as to what others have done in situations like this.
I feel like such a loner =[

The same exact thing happened to me in nursing school. Don't get caught up in their drama. To be honest with you, I haven't even seen those people from my AS program in years.

grownuprosie · Nov 20, 2012

you are in this for you, not them. You may never encounter them after nursing school. That said, you could be off-setting people in some manner and could ask a trusted friend or relative (outside the school) to give you some honest feedback about the vibes you send out. Otherwise, get your degree, get your license and be proud of your accomplishments.

thank you. I think it is interesting that only one person suggested that maybe looking inward might be helpful. Nursing school is training pants for real life. If you cannot get along there, will you be able to get along with the exact same type of people when you graduate? Yes, you should be proud of your accomplishments. But, I just have a hard time wrapping my head around the "Everyone else is mean for no reason" idea.

That being said, It is always a good idea to learn more social coping skills. Please don't just stick it out. Improve it. If not now, then you will be learning the hard way by losing your job over it. It is clearly not working with your current methodology, so why not try some new ones?

Good luck with everything!

Wrench Party · Nov 20, 2012

Sometimes I feel like I am also back in high school with my program. I am cordial with my classmates, but have my own

social life outside the program. I honestly feel like this is a lot healthier. Congrats to you on doing so well; remember you

are there to learn and not to win the popularity contest.

Can you form friendships outside of school? Do you have time for a hobby? This is the best way I have found to stay sane and

ignore all the drama/BS that ensues in school.

kimfuturelpn2013 · Nov 21, 2012

Hello,

I just wanted to say congrats for getting this far! I think we all feel like loners in the nursing programs because for some people it is a contest to see who makes the highest or does the best. I am constantly feeling as if I'm not as smart as my classmates! I have to keep telling myself that I am in this program for a reason. It isn't easy getting into the nursing classes so I must know something. As far as the others in your class go, please don't let them get to you. Some people don't like to see others succeed. You have to believe in yourself and keep your head up. It is all going to be worth it and for the ones who seem to want to cut you down, don't sweat them. In the end it will come back to them and when you are shinning like a diamond they will be wishing they didn't treat you the way they did.

Don't get discouraged!

Kim

ZenLover, MSN, RN, NP · Nov 21, 2012

I can definitely sympathize. I have had my struggles and thankfully have what appears to be the beginning of some great friendships with others that have had their struggles. Besides remembering that you probably won't speak to these people again after graduation, please also try to remember you are not alone and apparently from all these posts you are actually in very good company. :) The older we get the harder it is to forge real meaningful friendships, but you are reaching out and acknowledging the need...it will happen. :up:

beingcaitlin · Nov 21, 2012

I just felt like I was reading a thread about myself. Although I have some close friends in class that I met there, I have a wonderfully supportive family and friends outside of nursing school. Don't dwell on what other people think of you. You aren't doing nursing school for them, ur doing it for you! Make the most of it and learn something at every opportunity. Cheers to having ONE SEMESTER LEFT! I never thought I'd be able to say I'll be a REAL nurse in 6 months. You can do it!!

bmelissa · Nov 21, 2012

I am also doing extremely well in Nursing school. Better than I thought after hearing all the stories! I do not tell but only a select few my grades but most of my classmates know I am doing well. So far there has not been any drama and no one seems jealous. Even if they do start, I am there to learn and be the best nurse I can possibly be. Making friends is not the goal here, especially if they want to act like that. I will say that so far, I have some pretty great classmates!

amygarside · Nov 21, 2012

These people may feel envious because of the achievement you have attained. They are not the people that you should waste your time with. I am sure you will still find worthwhile people that can be your real friends. I hope that you can find one soon so that you will not feel too sad. As long as you do good in school and you are not fighting with anyone continue your great performance.

meatballgirl · Nov 21, 2012

Hi there:

Guess what? I'm in the EXACT same situation as you. I'm the "loner" in my class because what's happened to you happened to me. And there is a very "mean girl" in my class who will ostracize, blackball, etc. anyone who tries to be nice to me. I brought a cake into pot luck tonight and no one ate any piece of it. We started out as best friends in the class but I pulled away after I discovered how "crazy" she was. Borderline. But that's another story. Anyway, I feel the same way you do. I'm super smart. I get good grades. And I actually care about learning. So I know how you feel. I'm feeling the same thing.

So chin up. Ignore them. Being mean to someone elses unfortunately does not up your IQ. So forget those idiots and stay focused. And take every opportunity to study and avoid the drama.

Hope this helps.

Live.&.Learn · Nov 21, 2012

Congratulations on doing so well!!! I'm sorry your feeling so down, keep your head up, your almost there! I feel like a total outcast myself most of the time, but this will pass and you will be on to bigger and better things!

Red35 · Nov 21, 2012

Don't be down! Same thing happens in all nursing schools...it's high school all over. Some people are there to learn and some people are there to make others miserable.

When you get out in the field you will make life long friends.

Congrats and pe proud!

EarthhAngel2013 · Nov 23, 2012

Congratulations! I feel compelled to write on the other end of this spectrum. I have struggled with nursing school since I started, and finally I met a woman, who helped me find a better way to study. I was in danger of flunking out of the program. If we can maintain a 73 average and then have a B in clinical, we can stay in the program with remediation, so my goal was to just make it up to a 73. I had a F--. The next test was the week of drop date. I attended 2 study groups, one I didn't find helpful at all with a woman in my clinical group, I guess because I hadn't yet started studying yet, nothing felt like it was sinking in. The next was later that same night. This woman, showed me a better way of studying. I just get it better this way. My grades have gone from a F-- to an B+. Because I just understand it all better. I am extremely grateful to this woman, and I have continued to attend study groups with her. In one test I achieved my 73 average mark with a B+ on that test. The exam the following week a B+ again. Which I am able to finally say I'm passing (75.4) and won't have to do our extremely hard remediation program. In two extremely good exam days I have achieved my goal of being able to continue on with my classmates, and graduate in May. If I can do 2 more the week of final I won't have to be on the fence passing.

I have no idea what this woman's plans are but I intend to find out and hopefully keep in touch with her. Maybe now I can continue working on my BSN goal to. I would love to work with this woman as a nurse and feel confident now with the tools she's given me to help myself.

I'm not saying you have to go out and help everyone who is failing nursing school, but there are some out there who appreciate the help. Congratulations on your amazing journey that is almost over and I thank you for people like you who are so amazing and willing to help others. It may not seem like it now but many blessings are coming your way!!! I'm not sure how much it is worth but I thank you and am grateful to you and amazing people like you!