Does this annoy you? - page 2

This attitude is beginning to grate on me! A lot of people on this board (and in our programs) indicate that a C will not "cut it" for them, they "expect" more of themselves... blah blah blah. I... Read More

  1. by   z's playa
    Quote from Marie_LPN
    If someone is happy when they have A's, fine. If someone is happy when they have B's, fine. If someone is happy when they have C's, fine.

    I don't think anyone should be seen as "annoying" in relation to them being hard on themselves for not getting the A or B. THAT grade is what THAT particular person wanted, so yes, they might be disappointed with themselves, and while not everyone would understand why that person IS being hard on themselves, i don't think it's any better to look at them and think 'oh, get over yourself, be happy'. That solves nothing.


    I have a wild idea. How about everyone keep their grades to themselves and perhaps avoid offending anyone???:hatparty:

    Excellent idea!

    At our school its considered chessy to talk about a grade, good or bad. So we go by ...how did you do? ....response is either great, not bad, bad, I coulda done better.
  2. by   lisamc1RN

    A lot of people on this board (and in our programs) indicate that a C will not "cut it" for them, they "expect" more of themselves... blah blah blah. I can understand this but what I don't like is the inherent disrespect for those of us who indicate we are really quite thrilled to pass.
    If I can do better than a C then a C won't cut it for me. In the 2 classes I've had so far, I could do better than a C. I might not be able to do better than that for the next class, so a C will cut it, if that's the case. I know, for me, that if I had come away with a C in these last 2 classes, it would be because I didn't put much effort into it. That is not what I want. I want to do my best and live with the consequences. I might be disappointed if I try for an A and get a B, but if I don't try and I get a C my disappointment in myself would be of a different kind.

    I haven't read any disrespectful remarks about people who get C's. What are you referring to? I have read that peope have set up a standard for their own grades, which has nothing to do with what anyone else gets. It also doesn't assume any judgements against someone who get's C's or sets that for his/her standard. I've been a bit disappointed that not all views are tolerated well on this board. I have also been very thankful for those who have been understanding. I might get a C next quarter, might be dropped out, might get that A I'm hoping for. In any case, I'd like to be able to come here and share it with other students and nurses.



    When I was in pre-reqs I worked very hard to get A's in my classes. I just finished my first quarter in nursing school and the amount of material we had to cover and the expectations placed upon us were somewhat brutal (at least when compared with "regular" college). My attitude abruptly shifted and became: I will work hard but I will NOT beat myself up for being less than perfect and I will remember that survival is key and will be pleased to simply pass. One person in particular looked down her nose at me when I expressed that opinion and said that she expected more from herself than to merely... (snotty look inserted) pass.
    I'm sorry that someone treated you that way. It wasn't right, as it seems to have been insinuating that you don't value the very best for yourself, whatever that may be. None of us know what another person puts into their homework or what they are facing at home or at work that makes school challenging for them. None of us knows how far another person may have traveled to get to where they are. I know for myself that I have a deep admiration for those who work and go to school. I am not doing that. I have time to spend on my studies that many others in my class do not. I wonder what my grade might look like if I had to manage a job on top of all my school and home responsibilities? Would I even be in the program? Again, I'm sorry that someone was so rude.

    I guess what annoys me about this is just because someone says they're thrilled simply to pass doesn't mean they work any less (or make any lower grades) than someone who says they expect As... To indicate that this is not a sour grapes post and to underline what I'm trying to say, I did make one of the few As in our class for the term, but my attitude remains the same: My goal (while I shoot for As) is ultimately to survive and pass. Why is that so bad??
    My goal is the same. I want to pass my boards and become a nurse. If I can get the A's, then I will definitely set my goals to achieve them. Ultimately, though, becoming a nurse, and the best nurse I can possibly be, is what I'm in school for. If I do end up with a C, or more than a few of them, I would hope that someone would not assume that I did not work hard for them because I can promise you that I will be doing my darndest throughout my schooling. Judging someone on their grades, or how they feel about them, is ridiculous, IMO. We all come to our own conclusions and have our own feelings about what we are doing and what we want to accomplish while we are at school. No one should be made to feel poorly for them.
  3. by   Nightcrawler
    I do understand what all of you are talking about. What I remember most about the competitiveness in nursing school was that no matter what, someone was always going to try to one up you.

    I was one of those that expected A's and B's of myself, and was able to achieve this, because I worked very hard, and yes, I did occasionally share my grades with those in the class that I was close with and whom shared my drive to achieve the best possible grades.

    I also worked hard throughout the program to make sure that those who were struggling made it through, if it meant studying with them, giving them my notes, or the integrated final reviews that I always did for myself.... Only to have these same people snootily say, "Comeon Christine, we all know that you are going to go and get your "A" .....WTH? I didn't get straight A's, but I did expect a lot from myself, and I NEVER tried to rub my grades in to make someone else feel bad.

    Don't think either that the oneupmanship stops with grades. There is always the person who works more hours, has more personal challenges, has made more sacrifices, and will shout poor me to the mountaintop while looking down their noses at those who they didn't think had overcome enough to make it to nursing school. These people often don't realize what their classmates have overcome. They don't know because their classmates aren't pounding their chests and shouting poor me.

    I found that the people who had to proclaim their superiority, regardless of the source, are the ones that are the most frightened to fail. There is nothing wrong with expecting the best out of yourself.

    I am tired of the old line of how "A" students often make poor nurses, and that it is the "C" students who do the best clinically. This statement is designed to show that it is clinical skills that make the nurse. All too often I see this twisted to support the egos of the "C" students and to put the "A" students in their place. Just because you do well didactically doesn't mean that you will do poorly at the bedside. On the other side of the coin, poor testing skills don't necessarilly equate to poor knowledge.
  4. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Quote from Nightcrawler
    I do understand what all of you are talking about. What I remember most about the competitiveness in nursing school was that no matter what, someone was always going to try to one up you.

    I was one of those that expected A's and B's of myself, and was able to achieve this, because I worked very hard, and yes, I did occasionally share my grades with those in the class that I was close with and whom shared my drive to achieve the best possible grades.

    I also worked hard throughout the program to make sure that those who were struggling made it through, if it meant studying with them, giving them my notes, or the integrated final reviews that I always did for myself.... Only to have these same people snootily say, "Comeon Christine, we all know that you are going to go and get your "A" .....WTH? I didn't get straight A's, but I did expect a lot from myself, and I NEVER tried to rub my grades in to make someone else feel bad.

    Don't think either that the oneupmanship stops with grades. There is always the person who works more hours, has more personal challenges, has made more sacrifices, and will shout poor me to the mountaintop while looking down their noses at those who they didn't think had overcome enough to make it to nursing school. These people often don't realize what their classmates have overcome. They don't know because their classmates aren't pounding their chests and shouting poor me.

    I found that the people who had to proclaim their superiority, regardless of the source, are the ones that are the most frightened to fail. There is nothing wrong with expecting the best out of yourself.

    I am tired of the old line of how "A" students often make poor nurses, and that it is the "C" students who do the best clinically. This statement is designed to show that it is clinical skills that make the nurse. All too often I see this twisted to support the egos of the "C" students and to put the "A" students in their place. Just because you do well didactically doesn't mean that you will do poorly at the bedside. On the other side of the coin, poor testing skills don't necessarilly equate to poor knowledge.
    VERY well said, all of it! Thank you!
  5. by   lisamc1RN
    Two thumbs up!!! You expressed it so well!




    Quote from Nightcrawler
    I do understand what all of you are talking about. What I remember most about the competitiveness in nursing school was that no matter what, someone was always going to try to one up you.

    I was one of those that expected A's and B's of myself, and was able to achieve this, because I worked very hard, and yes, I did occasionally share my grades with those in the class that I was close with and whom shared my drive to achieve the best possible grades.

    I also worked hard throughout the program to make sure that those who were struggling made it through, if it meant studying with them, giving them my notes, or the integrated final reviews that I always did for myself.... Only to have these same people snootily say, "Comeon Christine, we all know that you are going to go and get your "A" .....WTH? I didn't get straight A's, but I did expect a lot from myself, and I NEVER tried to rub my grades in to make someone else feel bad.

    Don't think either that the oneupmanship stops with grades. There is always the person who works more hours, has more personal challenges, has made more sacrifices, and will shout poor me to the mountaintop while looking down their noses at those who they didn't think had overcome enough to make it to nursing school. These people often don't realize what their classmates have overcome. They don't know because their classmates aren't pounding their chests and shouting poor me.

    I found that the people who had to proclaim their superiority, regardless of the source, are the ones that are the most frightened to fail. There is nothing wrong with expecting the best out of yourself.

    I am tired of the old line of how "A" students often make poor nurses, and that it is the "C" students who do the best clinically. This statement is designed to show that it is clinical skills that make the nurse. All too often I see this twisted to support the egos of the "C" students and to put the "A" students in their place. Just because you do well didactically doesn't mean that you will do poorly at the bedside. On the other side of the coin, poor testing skills don't necessarilly equate to poor knowledge.
  6. by   Euskadi1946
    My final nursing grade was 78!!!, 75 was passing. I passed the NCLEX the first time and I'm now an RN. There were a several people in my class who were straight A students throughout nursing school and didn't pass NCLEX on the first try.
  7. by   smk1
    Some people feel validation from grades, others don't. Some people are relying on scholarships to help them out financially and NEED those A's, some people know that they eventually want to go on to graduate school and thus NEED to make mostly A's and not "just" pass. (unless they want to retake a bunch of stuff.) Those that are in prereqs in my area NEED to make mostly A's to get into the program and those who have a previous degree GPA that is less than stellar NEED to make ALL A's to even have an outside shot at it. I agree with Marie about keeping grades to yourself. there is nothing worse than someone shouting out "you got ___!" on the test. Usually nothing good comes of others knowing your scores. Also everybody has a different set of circumstances, Some work full time and some have a family and others have both to deal with on top of school, so it's all about setting goals that are realistic for you and that you will be satisfied with.
    Last edit by smk1 on Dec 27, '04
  8. by   mariedoreen
    Quote from Nightcrawler
    I do understand what all of you are talking about. What I remember most about the competitiveness in nursing school was that no matter what, someone was always going to try to one up you.

    Don't think either that the oneupmanship stops with grades. There is always the person who works more hours, has more personal challenges, has made more sacrifices, and will shout poor me to the mountaintop while looking down their noses at those who they didn't think had overcome enough to make it to nursing school. These people often don't realize what their classmates have overcome. They don't know because their classmates aren't pounding their chests and shouting poor me.
    You know, I think I've just been blindsided by how competetive this environment is. I never really expected it, I've been in college for years and just expected it to be... the same. As far as me assuming that just because people are saying "passing doesn't do it for them" that they are looking down on those of us who don't share that attitude, I think I've been influenced by the experience I had in school where someone did look down on me for that.. and have probably unfairly transferred that to others.

    Your last paragraph above about oneupmanship not stopping with grades really caught me too. You're right, I've already seen that, I just haven't recognized it as such and if I let any of this get to me before I know it I'm going to be letting all of it get to me.

    Bottom line, I need to just ignore it. How many times have I told my friends that "at the end of the day all that matters is that you tried your best and that you are at peace with how you conducted yourself." It's time to take my own advice and not let any of these new politics through my door.

    Thanks you guys.
  9. by   BS Nursing Student
    I wouldn't worry about it. I have found that a lot of people with low self esteem lie about their grades, so you really don't know what they make. My school is really competetive with people asking what others made. Most of us are adults and it is sad that people base their self worth on grades. I too made mostly As in prerequisites. Nursing school is tough. I am barely surviving.
  10. by   lil' girl
    I say again that there is nothing wrong with making a C. The MOST important thing is to do YOUR BEST. If the grade thing annoys you, what else will? I thought this board was designed on the main purpose of supporting people, no matter what the problem. I am wrong? If it annoys you then just don't read it.
  11. by   CarVsTree
    Quote from fluffwad
    The school I went to required at least a B average ( esp. in the nursing courses).
    Most schools today require 75 or 76 or above to pass.

    But I did notice that most of the A students where the ones who couldn't apply it sucessfully once they'd gotten out on the units 'for real'.
    Yikes! Now you've opened Pandora's box. I fear for you, my friend.
  12. by   Nightcrawler
    Quote from mariedoreen
    You know, I think I've just been blindsided by how competetive this environment is. I never really expected it, I've been in college for years and just expected it to be... the same. As far as me assuming that just because people are saying "passing doesn't do it for them" that they are looking down on those of us who don't share that attitude, I think I've been influenced by the experience I had in school where someone did look down on me for that.. and have probably unfairly transferred that to others.

    Your last paragraph above about oneupmanship not stopping with grades really caught me too. You're right, I've already seen that, I just haven't recognized it as such and if I let any of this get to me before I know it I'm going to be letting all of it get to me.

    Bottom line, I need to just ignore it. How many times have I told my friends that "at the end of the day all that matters is that you tried your best and that you are at peace with how you conducted yourself." It's time to take my own advice and not let any of these new politics through my door.

    Thanks you guys.
    No worries, and don't think that I was attacking you, I wasn't. It sounds like we are much alike as students in the end.

    Nursing school IS competitive. It is so because it is so difficult, and there just isn't enough support. Not enough support from each other, the faculty, and all too often not enough support at home. And because we don't get enough support, we have to try to inflate our own self worth. Some do it by striving to be at the top of the class and make sure that everyone knows it, others by announcing their martyrdom to all that will listen. Too often the result is bullying. Unfortunately from what I have seen here at allnurses, this all too often carries over into the workplace.

    It is a good idea not to announce grades, but there will always be at least one person who does it, and as I have said there are many ways to make yourself feel superior at others expense. The cure has to be to not participate in the competition, and above all to be supportive to the people in your class. Understand the reason that people behave the way they do. The next time that someone brags about the grade they got on the last test, congratulate them and invite them to join your study group. If they really did get the grade, they will be a welcome addition to the group, and if they didn't do as well as they said, perhaps they need the help that YOU can offer.

    Anyway, thank you for listening, and being receptive to my previous post. I was afraid that I was too harsh
  13. by   Maggie in NC
    I only compete with ME. I'm not trying to join Mensa or compete with an 18 high school honor student. If the best I can do is a C, than that's the grade I get. I don't care about all the competition (even though I see it ALL the time). Other people don't pay my bills or tuition and they won't be around after school is over.

    I slacked off and got "C"s on tests in classes that I knew would drop my lowest grade. But, those were in the pre reqs. In RN school, I want to pass and move on. The goal is $$$ not AAA.

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