Does anyone else feel out of place at school?

  1. For any reason?

    I've been out of school for 10 years, and going back has been a shell shock for me. (Another post on LPN corner just got me thinking of this...) I'm having a VERY hard time relating to the girls in my classes, and I'm trying so hard!!! I've never had a hard time making friends, but they seem to all turn their noses up at me.

    I don't smoke or drink, and I don't have kids, and it just seems that I'm having a hard time finding common ground. (To give you some idea of typical break conversation, last classes conversation was "Who's your boyfriends parole officer?") I can't relate. Any suggestions? Am I just an odd duck?

    Michelle
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  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   NewEnglandRN
    Hi Michelle,

    Just hang in there. I have been out of school for 13 years and found a much younger crowd in the prereq. classes. I just make a point of saying hello to everyone if I recognize them in-between classes. I have had one or two students who did not want to waste their time getting to know me, but that's their loss!

    Michelle
  4. by   HyperRNRachel
    Do you want to relate to those whose conversations are about their boyfriend's parole officers? If that is all you have to pick from then stay to yourself, unless you would rather get caught up in high-drama.
  5. by   WickedRedRN
    Hi Michelle! Glad to see you going back to school, you won't regret it! I am a 36 yo, who went back to school over a year ago. At first, I felt like I might as well have a neon sign over my head calling attention to the fact that I was not a "traditional" student. I soon realized I and the other returning adult students have an advantage in our age. We have lived our "party and social butterfly" phases and have learned from them. I know I am in school to accomplish a specific goal, and I am more focused on what I am doing and why I am there than I was when I went away to college as an 18 year old sheltered farm girl. (oh I was SOOOOO naive back then ) Luckily, I find others in my classes that are returning to school as well and talk to them. After several classes, I am sure you will notice some of the same faces who are trying to do the same as you that you can talk with.

    Best of luck to you!
  6. by   Truly_Blessed
    Yeeeaah, in my pre-reqs, there were students always talking about a party here, go to the club there. They were always behind on homework, never ready for tests, never did any textbook reading...and were surrounded by drama all the time. It was a soap opera everyday. I kept to myself concerning those students, and made it my mission to seek out other students who were like me. That usually cuts it to about 2 people. Instead of trying to befriend the drama queens who acted uninterested in any kind of "normal" conversation I would try to have with them, I preferred 2 goal oriented, crazy and funny friends who cared about not only their grades but my grades. They would help me whenever I needed help and vice versa. Don't know how nursing school will go, but I will try to get to know everyone before I draw my lines Chin up....it will get better.
  7. by   EMTtoRN
    YES Most of the kid sin my classes are my age <early 20's> but none are married or have kids <I have a 2 1/2 yo> I did hook up with a girl in my bio glass as she had a daughter my age but she ended up dropping the class So yes I do feel out of place sometimes!
  8. by   Altra
    EMTtoRN,

    As others have said, hang in there ... it WILL get better. Even if your current pre-req classes seem to consist mostly of "traditional" age students 18-22, I wouldn't be surprised if you find that that changes as you begin your nursing classes - nursing is drawing many people from many backgrounds and age groups.

    Nursing school has a way of bonding people, even those who may, on the surface, come from different planets! :chuckle And the serious students, even the young ones, will definitely appreciate your past experience.

    Let us know how you're doing!
  9. by   EMTtoRN
    Quote from MLOS
    EMTtoRN,

    As others have said, hang in there ... it WILL get better. Even if your current pre-req classes seem to consist mostly of "traditional" age students 18-22, I wouldn't be surprised if you find that that changes as you begin your nursing classes - nursing is drawing many people from many backgrounds and age groups.

    Nursing school has a way of bonding people, even those who may, on the surface, come from different planets! :chuckle And the serious students, even the young ones, will definitely appreciate your past experience.

    Let us know how you're doing!
    You know you are right!!! I cannot wait to be in nursing classes with like minded people with the same goals!
  10. by   perfectbluebuildings
    Michelle, I can "feel your pain" in this issue- although I am a traditional, 20-year old student, I am apparently much more naive and less worldly than the other students in the class. There are only a couple that I can really relate to well, and you know what? my very best friend in the class is a non-trad student, 31 years old. And it is partly because of those couple of friends I am able to keep going in school; friends with other majors don't always understand as well what nursing school entails. I hope you are able to find those people in your class as well; it may take a little time but it is so well worth it! let us know how it goes.
  11. by   luckymichelle
    Thanks guys - it sounds like I'm certainly not alone! I'm hopeful that once the fall semester gets going and I'm in with all new people I'll be able to meet some friends. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, and happily going to avoid the drama!

    Michelle
  12. by   purplemania
    High school is over. You are now in school to increase your personal potential. This means it does not matter if you never make friends with your classmates. I am sure you have other friends anyway. Just focus on school. I guarantee when your silly little classmates realize you are the one making the better grades, and their own career goals are in jeopardy due to their own negligence, they will be asking to study with you or "share" your notes. Remember, this is YOUR life that you are working to improve. Good luck and keep us posted. BTW, I was older than you when I started nursing school. I made two life-long friends, but it toward the end of the program.
  13. by   MaggieJo
    I hated my prereq classes. They consisted of who slept with who last night, and what party they went to. Most of the time, I couldn't hear the professor over these types of conversations. So, I wasn't a favorite classmate of the traditional students because I would ask them to be quiet. I mean, ya know, unless you're going to give me the nursing interventions for the STD's that you switched with each other, I don't want to hear about it! Anyway, as someone said, the actual nursing classes are much better. In fact, there's only one row of about five traditional students that sit and talk. The other 70 of us are there have family and job obligations, so we are there to LEARN not to socialize. I have made a lot of friends and good study partners (with kids my daughter's age!!!) since I started the nursing program. Maybe it will get better for you! I would guess that the median age of my class is anywhere from 30-35.
    -Maggie
  14. by   RNSuzq1
    Quote from luckymichelle
    For any reason?

    I don't smoke or drink, and I don't have kids, and it just seems that I'm having a hard time finding common ground. (To give you some idea of typical break conversation, last classes conversation was "Who's your boyfriends parole officer?") I can't relate. Any suggestions? Am I just an odd duck?

    Michelle
    Hi Michelle,

    I'm also an older student and maybe I've lived a sheltered life because same as you - I certainly couldn't "relate" to a conversation about boyfriends parole officers? Good grief - if they're all dating criminals you probably wouldn't want to be hanging out with them anyways.

    During Orientation for Summer School last week the auditorium was packed. What was very odd was that a group of young girls sitting near me brought their crying babies and toddlers to Orientation. I kept wondering if these people can't find a babysitter to watch their children for a few hours of Orientation, how on earth are they going to attend school?? I have 3 boys and never would have even thought to drag them along to a college Orientation - so I can't relate to this type of thinking. I've been out of school for years and wanted to hear everything that was being said but unfortunately the crying babies, toddlers climbing over the seats and the mom's themselves talking to each other and laughing while the Presenters were talking on the stage was unbelievably disruptive. I would have gotten up and moved my seat to hear better, but there wasn't an empty seat in the place. Just hoping they find babysitters for the kids once classes start. Susan

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