Decisions decisions...and how to choose....

  1. I've been lurking here and well I need some advice.....

    I've been asking everyone I know what I should do but I don't think they can give me a honest answer w/o knowing exactly what the "role" is of a LVN v. RN.

    I was in a local ADN program in 1999 but had to leave school due to a family illness (my dh was mis-dx'd w/ a brain tumor)....

    So here I am 2004....this is my LAST chance to use or lose my science courses for the RN. My locall community college will only allow them if they are w/in 5 yrs of application to their lvn and rn programs.

    My choices:

    the LVN program I'm looking into is very close to my home, the hours are wonderful (I have 3 kids and daycare for the youngest is going to kill us financially) and it's 3 semesters. Time is of the essence here.

    the ADN program (same school as the LVN) is great, will accept my science courses from 1999 w/ question and again hours and location are EXACTLY what I need.

    here's the problem.......
    the competiton for BOTH programs is stiff...both are new to the area and are BOOMING w/ applicants. Only the top 30 will make it. The last RN class had over 200 applicants!!

    the LVN deadline is April 1st and begins in August...for 3semesters
    the RN deadline isn't til early FALL (usually Aug from what the instructor told me) and for 6 semesters.

    I can apply to the LVN AND the RN programs but if I get accepted to the LVN program I'll have to decide whether to chance that I'm in the top 30 ranking thatwill get a slot in the ADN program....or not.
    So while I WANT the RN program I just don't know if I'm good enough on paper to get in...
    and don't want to loss the oppty for the LVN ..I wouldn't even FIND out if I'm in or not til AFTER the LVN classes begin....and I'd have to wait another year to reapply....

    Does that make sense?

    another factor is HOME LIFE.... My dh like so many I've read about this week here....is NOT supportive of my return to school.
    So much so that I don't put anything past him to get me to leave school. The last time I heard "forget about school, just go work at Krogers!!!" about 180 times before I told him to shove it up his #@@...lol...
    My dh is not a bad guy....he isn't mean to me or the kids or anything like that... but he is definitely controlling or at least tries to be. We don't have alot of money....(who does..lol) but we make it BARELY...and a major factor in my feelings about returning to school NOW rather than later is that his satisfaction w/ just barely making our bills etc is somethign I can't deal with.
    I know that he is afraid that if I get my education I will leave him...and he's probably right. He has even gone as far as to tell me I better get a part time job or something because none of HIS MONEY was going to go toward my school, DAYCARE for our youngest son or anything else related to my returning to school(as if we have any extra??? ).
    That is my MAIN reason for returning to school....to give me options that I don't have right now...and I don't know if I can commit to the 2yrs of RN school with him on my back the entire time....the first time was HORRIBLE...
    I was a wreck....but also I knew in my heart and soul that I was MEANT to be a nurse I still do.

    The school itself part wasn't all that hard for me....I pulled A's and B's the whole way w/out really making much effort....I kept going to my advisor and saying "I MUST be doing something wrong...why am I doing so well w/o really working and I see everyone else struggling"...she was the sweetest lady...she just told me that it was a sign I was doing the right thing w/ my life
    so...
    ACK!!!
    now what!
    I want options, I want a career, I want my kids to be happy and have what they need (financially and emotionally)....

    I'm just feeling so lost....

    What do you guys think? help please....
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  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   Achoo!
    I don't know about where you live, but here after you get your LPN, you can bride over to the ADN program. That way you could get your LPN, and if you then decided you wanted to go all the way, you could bridge over and start in the 4th semester. Just a thought, best of luck whatever you choose!
  4. by   S.N. Visit
    Quote from Achoo!
    I don't know about where you live, but here after you get your LPN, you can bride over to the ADN program. That way you could get your LPN, and if you then decided you wanted to go all the way, you could bridge over and start in the 4th semester. Just a thought, best of luck whatever you choose!
    "Ditto" to what "Achoo", said. At my c.c we can also bridge over. Have you talked to any one at your school about your options? If you find out you don't have a bridge program, maybe they will let you accept the LPN, then drop it after you are accepted to the ADN?
    Good luck with your decision!
  5. by   NICUbabyRN
    Well, I am not to sure what to say. I just finished an RN program. What I can tell you is that I know 5 LVN's that are going for thier RN's. From what they told me was that LVN school was HARD! Not to say nursing school is not but you have less time to learn it. It kind of like a crash course.

    It is very hard when your spouse is not supportive. If money is tight you may be able to get grants or some other aide for schooling costs. Also, check into help with child care costs. There are programs to help with child care costs for people going to school.

    I wish you the best of luck.
  6. by   KimRN03
    ultimately you have to do what you REALLY want to do, otherwise you won't be committed. Follow your heart! Good luck to ya!
  7. by   ManEnough
    I read your post with a great deal of sadness. I know what it's like to have goals and dreams with a big ol' fat monkey riding on your back resisting all the way.

    I have no doubt you'd be great at whatever you do.. LVN, RN or otherwise. But, from the prospective of someone about to wrap up an ADN program, I have to say I can't possibly imagine going through this without the complete and unconditional support of everyone around you, especially your spouse. From what you've said about your husband, it sounds like he has some very serious issues to work through and it sounds like you're beginning to build the confidence to confront him. I'd highly, highly, HIGHLY suggest seeing a marriage counselor before making any decisions about this program.

    Never forget that you deserve a partner who will support ALL of your needs, including a desire to meet your goals. Good luck!
  8. by   traumaRUs
    I wish you the very best. I too did the LPN then the ADN and now for a BSN/MSN. Education does give you options! You have to consider that in five years you'll be just where you are now or an RN and able to make your own decisions. I realize that not having a helpful spouse is difficult. While my husband was extremely helpful when I was in school he was in the military and simply wasn't here a lot.
  9. by   heatherbless
    Quote from traumaRUs
    I wish you the very best. I too did the LPN then the ADN and now for a BSN/MSN. Education does give you options! You have to consider that in five years you'll be just where you are now or an RN and able to make your own decisions. I realize that not having a helpful spouse is difficult. While my husband was extremely helpful when I was in school he was in the military and simply wasn't here a lot.
    hey, I would personally just go for the LVN and then work your way up...as far as your husband--you just have to take that chance....if he is not going to support you in the long run, this is probably the best thing you can do--go back to school.

    Best, hty/
  10. by   heatherbless
    Quote from traumaRUs
    I wish you the very best. I too did the LPN then the ADN and now for a BSN/MSN. Education does give you options! You have to consider that in five years you'll be just where you are now or an RN and able to make your own decisions. I realize that not having a helpful spouse is difficult. While my husband was extremely helpful when I was in school he was in the military and simply wasn't here a lot.
    hey, I would personally just go for the LVN and then work your way up...as far as your husband--you just have to take that chance....if he is not going to support you in the long run, this is probably the best thing you can do--go back to school.

    Best, hty/
  11. by   memphispanda
    I would definitely apply to both. Then if you get into the LPN program I'd go for that first. Then (as others have said) you could bridge to RN. You probably would be eligible for tuition reimbursement through your employer for your RN also.

    Either way, you may be able to deal with paying for daycare through loans. That's what I did. It may not be ideal, however it would keep your husband from complaining about how "his" money is being spent and it would keep you from having to spend valuable study time working. You also may land a job in a facility that offers loan payback.
  12. by   LuvNx
    A very tough decision to make, especially with a family involved. I am very proud of you first of all to even consider returning back to school. Nursing is meant to be for people like you. I know you'll have the passion regardless of whichever program you decide on. With that all said..... I know exactly how competitive nursing school is in Houston because I am also from there. I think personally that you should always aim high in life and go for the ADN program. You don't want to get a degree that you will linger on and later by possibly returning to school over & over again. But, because of your family situation, maybe the LVN is the route to go for now. Your husband's support is so important for this matter because it will effect everybody. (I am also back in school) You also don't want the children to suffer either. (I have a 20 month old). Whatever your decision will be, I know you won't regret it. We nurses are blessed to have such future nurses with strong determination & passion!
  13. by   RNSuzq1
    Quote from ejm99
    here's the problem.......
    the competiton for BOTH programs is stiff...both are new to the area and are BOOMING w/ applicants. Only the top 30 will make it. The last RN class had over 200 applicants!!
    ....
    EJM - WOW, sounds like you have a lot to think about. A lot of schools (the one I've applied to included) have up to 500 applicants and only 40-50 that make it - so 200 doesn't sound like a bad number considering how most schools are. But I agree, it's very discouraging when you realize you're up against so many other people wanting the same thing.

    Does your husband realize how much more money you can contribute to the "family funds" as an RN rather than as a cashier at Kroger? It's very sad that he won't support you on this - since you're trying to make a better life for your entire family - not just yourself - MEN!!!!

    Just my opinion - it sounds like you'd have a great shot at the ADN Program since you've been in an ADN Program before - you obviously had the grades to make it in. If you applied for the LVN Program and got in - can you still apply for the ADN Program in the Fall and if you're accepted - drop out of the LVN Program? Hope that made sense...

    Give your husband a swift kick in the "arse" and remind him about the vows you took once upon a time - to Love and Support each other - all that good stuff. We have 3 Sons and although my husband is supporting me on this - I know if I'm lucky enough to start the Fall Program, some things will have to change around here. I currently take the kids to school on my way to work and pick them up on my way home (he never does this - even on his days off - like it's only my job to be the family taxi cab, grrr). If I'm in school full-time in the Fall - there is no way I'll be able to drop them off and make it to my school on time - it's something he'll have to do for 2 years, even if it kills him, ha, ha.. Maybe it's just me - but ever notice that if a guy wants to do something after work or on the weekends he just says - I'm going (hunting in my husbands case) - be back in a few hours - never says - can you watch the kids. Well, if I need to do something on the weekends or after work I have to ask him if he can watch the kids (like he's a babysitter I'm trying to hire - lol)... Sorry, that was totally off subject - but you got me thinking about all the little things that guys can do to drive you crazy.

    Best of luck to you. Please let us know what you decide. Take Care, SusanNC
  14. by   lvs2nrs3535
    SusanNC
    Oh my Gosh,
    I agree, off the subject, but it really is not, because it is amazing how the hubby can call you when they are getting off from work, (mine works 2nd shift), and tell you that they had a hard day and are going to stop by the buddies house to relax. Never mind that you were in nursing school all morning, have a paper to write and a house to clean and two kids fighting for all you attention from the minute you get out of school until you go to bed at night. Takes everything I have not to be BITTER some days!!!!
    Remember, you will be able to support yourself and your children all by yourself after you are done this. Nursing is the most scary, fulfilling, difficult, rewarding, wonderful I have ever done in my life. I am thrilled and terrified at the same time. My husband is in turns supportive and then not, he is afraid I will leave him when I graduate, and geez, I just might if he cant honor our wedding vows and be a good partner to me. No matter how hard school is, remember it will put you on equal footing in the long run. And really, what better place is there to be? Good luck, remember many states have programs to help single moms get through school, it will be the hardest thing you ever did, but also the most rewarding.

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